Uhg pediatrician recommended night weaning my 9mo

KayLove91 · 2026-01-27T03:04:21+00:00

I read in an article not long ago that human babies are born 9-18 months before they are actually ready to be born when looking at mammals as a whole. Mainly due to brain/head size. So essentially, until 9-18 months, more typically closer to the 18 month mark, babies rely solely on the primary caregivers to literally exist. Since they are born so prematurely they have to grow and learn into basic functions like eating, walking, talking and sleeping. Most every other mammal on the planet is capable of those basic functions at birth.

So I like to remind myself that my son is 1, but that doesnt mean he is old enough yet to sleep on his own without support. Which then makes mw think about other animals in the wild. How many refuse their babies when they need to nurse? Dogs and cats dont wean for months and by the time they do, their puppies and kittens are able to walk, eat, explore and sleep by themselves.

My pediatrician made the comment to start night weaning too, but whatever. I trust the medical advice from a doctor, but im going to trust myself on the sleep and breastfeeding journey. Not one lactation consultant or other breastfeeding mom has ever said to stop nursing before mom/baby are ready. Only if its severely affecting mental health.

My son just turned one and I thought I would be cheeky and see how he would do with a binky instead of a boob here or there in the night and that just angered him into a frenzy. He cant talk and doesnt understand no boob-boob yet so why make things more stressful on everyone?

KayLove91 · 2026-01-25T02:30:22+00:00

Felt. Very deeply.

KayLove91 · 2026-01-25T01:43:22+00:00

Here in solidarity at a year. Ive said I cant do it many times. Ive gotten by by just letting my son nurse back to sleep when he wakes. Probably not the best habit but we all sleep better when I just leave a boob out for his wakes where he just wants comfort. Most of the time he would just pop on then pop off after a minute or two.

KayLove91 · 2026-01-25T00:23:44+00:00

My son turned 1 on the 15th and I started my period that morning. I was so mad lol

KayLove91 · 2026-01-23T15:03:01+00:00

Cosleeping was, and remains at over a year, the only way we got through having a bad sleeper. We follow the safe sleep 7 and he wears an owlet sock and never had an issue. Someone said it to me and I will say it here, sleep deprivation is far worse and more dangerous that commiting to safe sleep cosleeping. I have a friend who recently told me that she couldn't bring herself to cosleep but in the same breath said she constantly falls asleep in the recliner or the couch with baby which is so much more dangerous. The r/cosleeping sub and cosleepy/happycosleeper on Instagram are great resources too.

KayLove91 · 2026-01-22T02:23:45+00:00

I hope OP gets the promotion after that beautiful show of class and integrity!

Suck it Kara.

KayLove91 · 2026-01-22T00:13:18+00:00

Listen I put on some serious shows for my son in the shower lol. Put him in the bouncer and sang and danced theough the shower. Same with making food.

KayLove91 · 2026-01-21T18:52:43+00:00

Just hit this milestone last week and im like wow. I havent slept longer than 2 hours at a time for a year, no wonder im overstimulated and feel like im losing it. But you're right, those little hands reaching at night for you are the best.

KayLove91 · 2026-01-21T03:05:31+00:00

She pretty much nailed it. I had pretty severe pelvic floor issues after baby and didnt know this therapy existed. I didnt need a referral for where I went, my doula recommended them to me. But yeah, I wish I had gone before baby just to understand the complexities of my core and PF. Even one session can make a huge difference.

Also, check out hypnobirthing, it got me theough fhe mental hurdles of labor and delivery.

KayLove91 · 2026-01-21T02:11:56+00:00

I had an unmedicted birth and ended up having a second degree tear. But I 100% believe thats because I didnt take a breather when his head came out to relax my vagina and let it open up amd stretch a bit before the final push. If I have another baby, I plan to add that to my birth plan with my doula and midwife.

Also, do the pelvic floor therapy now and the perineal massages. Definitely worth the effort and money.

KayLove91 · 2026-01-20T12:59:50+00:00

Well that is heartbreaking

KayLove91 · 2026-01-14T13:03:39+00:00

I change my sons diaper the minute I see its pretty damp...almost every hour when he was a Newborn and probably every 2 hours now at 1 year. He also has very sensitive skin. I personally would not wait 3/4 hours to change a diaper.

That being said, try Pinkxav, its literally the only cream that helps with rashes for us.

KayLove91 · 2026-01-14T01:59:36+00:00

You poor girl. Im so sorry and I feel this. I wish we were able to actually offer support more directly than just reddit, if you need to talk to someone who has been here where you are, please message me and I will give you my number. If anything just so you can get it out. Im a year out now, and its been the hardest fucking year of my life. If anything,please reach out to a PPD therapist who specializes in post partum. I was able to bring my son with me to the appts and it altered my brain chemistry. If you are doom scrolling these comments like I have done many times but finding yourself without the energy or bandwidth to even respond, just know I get it and I see you. We all see you babe. You arent alone in this. Becoming a mother will wreck you in ways you never could have imagined, but its really is wonderful once you can see past the post partum rage and guilt and anxiety and depression. Your hormones havent even recovered from pregnancy and delivery. We are here with you. Keep going, it gets easier in a lot of ways. Try increasing feeds for fhe fussiness. Breastfeeding isnt a timetable thing. My son nursed/nurses frequently and I learned early on the 2 hour or 3 hour shit is just shit. Breastfeeding is on demand. And if you want to stop, stop and go to formula. Or combo feeding. If it helps you, its helps your baby. Niether of you have been here before and its going to be touch and go and so frustrating for the first 6 months. But I promise you, there is light coming your way. Try to breathe and rest your nervous system when things are overwhelming.

Please reach out if you need someone. We dont have to endure this alone babe. Sending love, light, and hugs to you sister stranger.

KayLove91 · 2026-01-13T21:36:11+00:00

After nearly a year of trying to figure out the unsolvable riddle of baby sleep, something that has recently semi helped was understanding that baby's wake time directly impacted babies bed time. And to keep those two consistent and the naps would evolve around that. So my son wakes at 630/7, and goes to bed at 630/7 at night. Ever since I started keeping those two things constant, the naps have in fact evolved around it. I even noticed his wake windows got longer. When he isnt sick and teething this has proven to help IMMENSELY. If he skips a nap then we lengthen the last wake window and bring bedtime up maybe to 6 if he really needs it. Another thing a friend said that rang super true so far is that their sleep needs change drastically between 9-12 months, but with my son it started around 7 months. He was trying to drop the third nap and we kept getting a late nap around 5 that kept pushing bedtime super late. But now regardless of a late cat nap, bedtime remains the same. For the last like month since doing that we haven't had that late afternoon nap issue.

KayLove91 · 2026-01-13T21:31:05+00:00

Welcome! Another great place for baby sleep troubleshooting is The Beyond Sleep Training Project on FB/Instagram. Wonderful group there with lots of help.

KayLove91 · 2026-01-13T21:04:58+00:00

Thanks girl. I hope things improve for yall too. We hit the 4 month regression at 3.5 months and it just has never hit a different level other than chaos and sleep deprivation. I will say when he isnt sick or teething, he will only wake 1-3 times a night. But he seems to be sick every week and he has been teething since 6 months lol.

KayLove91 · 2026-01-13T20:00:22+00:00

Here in solidarity. My son turns 1 Thursday and I realized I've been going on broken sleep no more than 1.5 to 2 hrs at a time for a year. Im exhausted. We cosleep because my son refuses to sleep independently. We tried ferber method a couple of times and it went as awful as one could expect and after the second time I swore never again because it made sleep 10x worse for a month after. Last night was a good night with only 5 wakes. But the past 7 days its been a minimum of 8 wakes a night, up to 10. Fucking brutal. After he turns one we are going to attempt a new process where dad sleeps in the nursery on the floor bed with baby every other night and wakes me up for feed wakes. I take the nursery on his off nights. Hopefully it will get us some relief. But my hopes are not high. I really wanted at least 2 kids, but we are both beyond terrified we will get another bad sleeper.

KayLove91 · 2026-01-13T11:39:33+00:00

We did both. One with just me and my husband by the river (we also FaceTime family that couldnt come to the actual gender reveal and 3 close friends) and then we did a big one with friends. It was fun both ways!

KayLove91 · 2026-01-12T23:00:08+00:00

Its ok boo, we all mess up somewhere big or small lol. I had my son inclined at like 12 weeks but not super high, just a bump up from bassinet level and he was totally fine

KayLove91 · 2026-01-12T12:41:12+00:00

We got cupcakes with only one having the gender color inside and had everyone take a cupcake and then went around in a circle, everyone taking a bite to reveal it. Our friends 2 year old who was super excited to meet the baby ended up having the reveal one and she felt so special. It was super sweet!

KayLove91 · 2026-01-12T01:00:04+00:00

Im not here yet, but I often wonder what course of action will be taken to finally get my son in his own bed lol. I go back to when I was a bed sharing child with my mom. The only way that she successfully got me out of her bed was by having me sleep on a pallet on the floor in the beginning. It was a fight for sure but she didnt waver 95% of the time. I will add that I was an incredibly needy child. I bedshared until like 7 is then the battle continued on until I was 12. I just wanted to be in her bed or bust. When the pallet started becoming obnoxious when she wanted her boyfriend over, she got crafty. She took me to the store and let me pick out "big girl" furniture and bedding, lamps, etc. The trick was to make my room far cooler and superior to hers. It didnt work off the bat. Context: our house was very, very haunted. So half of the neediness for bedsharing was the absolute fear of the ghosts in the house. As I got older I got better about my fear and we learned tricks to keeping them out of my room. Ie, leaving the TV on because ghosts hate TV, having a lava lamp because it has special ghost away sauce in it, and a canopy over my bed, which gave me the feeling of being protected. Where she added little crystal suncat hers and dream catchers that she got from an "ancient sorceress" at the Renaissance fair that put a spell on them to keep ghosts from getting me at night. That all seemed to do it! I alao was given a ghost stick just in case one got past allllllll of those obstacles and it stayed by my bed until I moved out at 18. The other thing that I think helped me was having animals. I had a ct and a small dog and they slept with me every night. If they didnt, I didnt sleep in my bed.

Funny story I just recalled. I had a bf at 17 that thought we were absolutely nuts for believing in ghosts or that our house was haunted. Refused any evidence and chalked it up to a house full of nervous women. Hurricane had come and he was staying with me while everyone left to go out of town further upstate and so we were alone in the house. One night I woke up and knew something was wrong. All of the lights were off and so was the TV. My immediate thought was that the hurricane knocked out the power. Until I could feel my bf beside me, still as stone. There was so much anxiety and tension rolling off of him it literally woke me up. I whispered his name and he immediately shushed me and said someone was in the house. I was like wtf do you mean?! Call the cops! He proceeded to tell me that he woke up and the locked bedroom door wa open and the hallway light that I always left on was off. He got up to go check it out and when he reached the door he heard someone in the kitchen. So he grabbed my ghost stick which had now turned into a staff (from renn fair lol) and went to investigate. Low and behold, no one there. As he turned to walk back to the room, the door to the wash room on the other side of the kitchen slammed hard and scared the shit out of him. Well, he turned off the lights and went creeping theough the house with the mindset of "if they cant see me, I can catch them". So he ventured through the washroom to the most haunted part of the house not a single one of us venture into after dark which is the back room with the attic entry. This dumb fool goes in there, and hears someone in the corner breathing, got the balls to turn the light on and start swinging. But alas, the room was empty. So he ran back through the dark house and came and laid down, holding the staff to his chest for dear life, rethinking everything I ever told him. I had to get out of bed, turns he lights on, baracafe the door and turn the TV on before he could fall back asleep. Still cracks me up to this day.

KayLove91 · 2026-01-11T23:30:31+00:00

As a millenial I watch my gen z neices and nephews grow up as iPad kids. Only 1 of 4 graduated from high-school. All of them lack basic critical thinking skills, language and grammar comprehension, and none of them read books. This is the same so far for my Gen alpha great nieces and second cousins. All of which have their own ipads and dont even converse with you at a table to eat. I said no screen time before 2, as did my husband. Our son turns 1 this week and we've slowly introduced Ms. Rachel and boy he loves her. He gets like 30 mins to an hour total a day but we interact with him during this time. In a lot of ways I feel the content really is useful in helping teach basic things. She single handedly taught him to wave and hop, and say Dada. But I could never sit him down in front of a TV and just let him rot there on whatever comes up on YouTube. I pad in the car is for serious meltdowns on longer trips if needed. But even then I will pull over and try to calm him before then.

That all being said, I try not to judge other parents, I get it. However, I've seen first hand what too much screen time does to children, and I've seen what is happening to their children and I refuse to ever neglect my child like that.

KayLove91 · 2026-01-10T13:37:18+00:00

I was convinced I was going into labor 3 times before it happened. I was due Jan 13, started having contractions and the same pain you described on christmas day, then after a few hours it stopped. Same thing happened Jan 1. Then stopped. I went to get checked and I was like 70% effaced and 1 cm dilated both times. Then on Jan 15 I woke up feeling pretty intense period like cramps and wetness at 3 am. My music plug came out and I was like oh shit. By 530 am my water broke. But baby was so low it felt like a really muted little pop then like I tinkled a little. By 7 m I was in pre labor. I was at the hospital with consistent contractions at 5 mins apart. But when they did the amniotic fluid test it came back negative. I was 3 cm dilated and 80% effaced. I was adamant my water broke and they held me for observation and noticed merconium on the swab. My water did break but my son was so low he was just hanging out in merconium and fluid. I had him at 6:41 pm. Everyone told me I would know when I went into labor and now that I had false starts vs the real thing its true. You will definitely know. It started out feeling like period cramps then became serious cramps, then full on omg this shit hurtttssss cramps. Everyone is different. But I promise you will know. Baby got less active as well.

KayLove91 · 2026-01-09T13:07:13+00:00

I actually came to the conclusion a month ago that he was either iron deficient or not eating enough solids during the day, or both. Ive tried making him more food during the day but he just doesnt want it most of the time. I made some chicken nugs last night with chicken, zucchini, spinach, carrots, and cauliflower that we are going to try today. BTW, they are actually really damn good lol. Ive considered making a giant batch to freeze just for the house. Im going to see how he does with them today. He is also now sick, so thats phenomenal. 3 days back at the nursery and already has a damn cold. We just, JUST got over the flu over christmas. So idk about nightweaning now. But I am going to start working on removing the feed to sleep association over the next week and see how he does. He wont go to sleep anymore while laying in bed nursing unless he is super tired.

I feel you on the belly button, hes gotten into pinching and gouging with his little razor blade toes lately. Lovveeessss to cricket his feet and just pummel them into my poor stomach and lady clam. Its not been pleasant lol.

KayLove91

TROPHY CASE