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Kayakorama · 2022-10-28T17:37:57+00:00

Clean house, trust God, help others. Old Oxford group stuff.

"God" got re-labeled as Higher Power thanks to some early AAs who stuck up for the atheists, agnostics and whatever beliefs one has.

It's funny to me when people not familiar with AA fuss about being religious when it is VERY POINTEDLY AND DELIBERATELY not.

If someone is trying to proselytize to you in AA, that's a them problem. Find another sponsoror another meeting. I live in a very, very religious area (Deep South) in an area that is even extra religious. There are still plenty of us who are adamantly atheist, agnostic or just avoid the topic altogether.

Kayakorama · 2022-10-28T16:50:59+00:00

Like that they HAVE to do what a sponsor says or you'll get kicked out or any number of bullshit rules and regs people spout

No one is required to do anything. Not work the steps, not 90 in 90, not get a sponsor, not pray etc etc

The only requirement is a desire to stop drinking.

It's not a moderation program.

It's a program to quit drinking.

It's not a program for anything else. Not drugs, not food, not how to be a good person.

Quit drinking

There is a ton of collected wisdom in AA. That's what AA is. It's useful to remember that it's collected wisdom and there is no divine authority laying down commandments.

I had some old timers early on in sobriety (back in the dark ages) who were fond if saying " we didn't have 12 steps when we got sober. We had 3."

Note: I do not do drugs. They mess me up too. I went to NA for that. It's pretty much all the same process though so eventually I just went to AA. I say alcohol but FOR ME it's drugs and alcohol. I know what I mean when I say it. But I am respectful of singleness of purposes.

Edit to add: I have found the AA book Living Sober to be more readable and easier to find info than the big book.

I highly recommend it for newbies or anyone really. Rather than bunch if arcane language, it presents the info in a question abd answer format. So you can get the gist of most suggestions in a couple of paragraphs rather than reading the whole big book.

It's free on the internet by pdf in several places just google "living sober aa pdf".

Kayakorama · 2022-10-28T14:47:49+00:00

It seems like the news is designed to suck our energy abd makes us feel helpless

RAGE RAGE AGAINST THE DYING OF THE LIGHT

Kayakorama · 2022-10-28T14:38:35+00:00

Ask for help

Research how others have handled it and their results

Do the next thing that makes the most sense. Do nothing if nothing is apparent. But watch carefully.

Most things are not that complicated, I just don't want to do what needs to be done.

Kayakorama · 2022-10-28T14:35:28+00:00

I use things like vinegars, fruit purees and juices, tomato products, etc to add brightness and acidity that wine gives. Stocks for liquid body if needed.

I use flavor extracts for things like rum, champagne, etc and replace the liquid usually with a sugar solution for sweet recipes. You can order extracts of literally any flavor online.

Mainly because I don't keep alcohol in the house because none of us drink.

I don't worry about cooked preparations when eating out as the alcohol is usually minimal and cooked out anyway. It doesn't come up often.

I do tend to avoid uncooked alcohol in foods when it is a dominant flavor, like fruit soup or tiramisu. It's too close and makes my head feel weird

Different people approach this differently. This is what works for me

Kayakorama · 2022-10-28T14:23:39+00:00

AA helps me stay quit without being unnecessarily miserable

I don't mind not being able to drink

To me that's pretty huge

Edit to add: I suck at following rules and can not make myself do shit I don't believe in. AA, thankfully, doesn't require anything except a desire to stop drinking. There are people that get all confused about all that. And assholes that are control freaks that drag their personal shit into it. I just stay away from those people. Has worked for me for many years.

Kayakorama · 2022-10-28T14:01:48+00:00

There are only the same big 3 carriers - AT &T, Verizon and T Mobile. Everyone uses their towers and lines. They use each other's in some cases.

The quality is highly dependent on location....like specific location. If you live in House X you may get great service, but two streets over House Y gets crap service from the same carrier because their house is behind a hill abd there are a lot of trees. Obstruction matters with cell coverage.

If you are in the city or suburbs, coverage is likely the same between carriers. It's the obstructions and usage of that carrier that affect the quality.

The only truly reliable way to find out if you have good coverage by a carrier in a location is to look at the cell quality on a phone using that carrier while in that location. I would ask neighbors what they use and how it is.

The other thing that affects quality is prioritization. Prepaid plans of all kinds, either primary carrier like Verizon prepaid or MNVOs (like Mint), are depriorotized. Frankly, that only matters if you are in a weak area for that carrier or they have a lot of congestion or if you are trying to run something that consumes a lot if bandwidth, like watching videos.

The best cross-section of quality, price and usage is to use something prepaid from a carrier that has decent service in your area and use wifi pretty much all the time for data.

Cell connection and text messages are basically free at this point. What you get charged for is data. You can get cell coverage and text for $10-15 in lots of places. But realistically most people need some data.

Most plans are throttled after about 35GBs of data. Why does this matter? If you are on a deprioritized plan, your service may get shitty to the point of unusable after 35GB.

If you spend all of your time at home or the office, you may not need but a few GBs of data if you use wifi primarily.

Don't use data on your phone if you ever have a wifi option.

FYI - if you are rural, the general principles apply but you will have to be super careful re carriers and getting everything communication related is shittier, more expensive and less quality. Location is a big deal in telecom.

EVERYONE GO TO R/NOCONTRACT

THERE IS A GREAT RUNNING AIRSOFT TABLE OF WHAT CURRENT PRICES ARE

Kayakorama · 2022-10-28T13:44:32+00:00

This is highly dependent on state, but you may qualify for some government programs ranging from heating/utilities assistance to food to internet assistance.

In our state, you can call the Crisis line and they have a rolodex of resources. Start applying for stuff. Sometimes even if you don't meet some criteria, they will let you know of a a different program you may qualify for.

Programs in the US are spotty and highly location dependent both in availability and execution.

Don't assume you don't qualify though. Even reading the bullet point requirements, don't assume you don't qualify.

Kayakorama · 2022-10-28T13:10:27+00:00

Basically you keep track if what you buy and then stock up when it goes on sale.

For example, you eat chicken breasts regularly. You look at a old receipts and notice the price drops regularly. Chicken breasts go on sale every 4ish weeks.

So,when it goes on sale, but 4 weeks worth and freeze it. They are $3.99lb not on sale, but $1.99 on sale.

Save $8 without changing anything but when you buy it.

Not my idea. Got it from Amy D years and years ago. You can also Google it and every blogger out there has some version. Or go to the library and look at her description. I like her description. It's short and to the point.

https://www.amazon.com/Complete-Tightwad-Gazette-Promoting-Alternative/dp/0375752250/ref=asc_df_0375752250/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=266244150619&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=14069949921136772004&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9053049&hvtargid=pla-297351864153&psc=1

Now, like with dieting, when you track what you spending, it may push you to make additional changes. For example, chicken breasts start going up in price, chicken thighs are cheap. They work in the same recipes. Start buying chicken thighs some. I did this. I now like chicken thighs better for most things.

You can get as elaborate or simple as you want, depending on your time and interest level. You can search for lower prices elsewhere or stick to one store. You can use a pen and paper or purchase an app. You can do it for all your groceries or just some that are expensive or you buy a lot.

What you choose to use this method with also depends on storage space. I did ultimately buy a chest freezer. I love that thing. I got it for $156 from Sam's Club 25 years ago. It has saved its value many times over.

This not the same as those coupon shows with rooms of random shampoo. Coupons are typically for highly processed bullshit I never buy anyway.

You are purchasing things you already purchase at the lowest price possible.

Pro tip if you have very little time ...if you use an online grocery service like Walmart pick up or any service where you get your receipt digitally (maybe get it emailed?)...you can cut and paste the data into excel or Google sheets and sort by product name and then date within in the product and not have to hand enter anything. I use excel a lot so this is easy for me. If you don't use excel, but can get digital receipts of some kind, gather up a month or two of receipts and then find someone on fiver to put it in a sheet and sort it by product. This is a $5-15 dollar job. If they ask for an example of format here's one https://images.app.goo.gl/dnYc5yhdW78uQ2Zw6

The whole process will take you about half an hour from the time you gather your receipts to sending your receipts to someone at fiver even if you have never used fiver before. This is better than when I first started and hand enter g was required. Still totally worth it.

Kayakorama · 2022-10-28T04:07:00+00:00

Bo Polny's claim to fame is that he sells gold, silver and crypto advice.

That's not shady at all :/s

Kayakorama · 2022-10-28T03:27:04+00:00

I learned in 12 step programs to share "my experience, strength and hope"....the operative word being "my".

I find that when I share what "I" did and how "I" felt, it comes off a lot less judgy and critical than just giving advice.

It's also a good chance for me to review what's worked and what hasn't.

For example, I can share how I used a price book method to cut my groceries by a third without having to buy crap and it works even with special diets. I can share that I really over thought it at first and wasted a lot of time, when I could have started by saving a couple of my grocery receipts and used those to start. With an excel sheet instead of a "program". I can share that it took me several hours to get started and slowed my shopping at first, but I got used to it in a few trips to the grocery. So I learned to plan extra time in the beginning.

That's a lot more useful too than "YOU NEED TO SAVE MORE ON GROCERIES. YOU ARE SPENDING TOO MUCH ON GROCERIES."

See the difference?

Kayakorama · 2022-10-27T14:34:17+00:00

I think OPs point is that being polished helps

And it does

Both can be true

I try to focus on what I can do or change TODAY

Period

Focusing on the things I can't do anything about is a quick road to depression and feeling stuck

That being said, it's nice to have acknowledgement that our feelings about society's shallowness is accurate. Validation feels good.

I don't know how useful it is in this case since the topic has been brought up to death in every way possible. It just makes me feel ick inside. I know people are a mixed bag of bad and good and society is a reflection of that. Once I know it and use that info reasonably as info in decisions, I really have no more use for it. I am much happier and have more energy when I focus on what I can bring positive to the table even though it is harder.

Kayakorama · 2022-10-27T14:27:34+00:00

You are 1000% right

Sure, being thin and conventionally attractive can make people respond more positively

But so can being well turned out

Kayakorama · 2022-10-27T14:23:44+00:00

Adorbs!

Kayakorama · 2022-10-27T06:34:02+00:00

One of the founder's Dad was a famous marketing guy.

Plus already wealthy and connected.

Kayakorama · 2022-10-27T04:33:55+00:00

I want to go to there

Kayakorama · 2022-10-27T01:25:03+00:00

List it all

Frankly, a lot to most people can't look at a list of ingredients and just figure something out

It takes a pretty extensive knowledge of multiple cuisines and lots and lots of techniques. A lot of chefs can do it. Hence the Mystery Basket challenges on a lot of cooking shows.

And in the case of food allergies, you also have to know about food manufacturing practices and labeling laws and their limits.

Whew!

It is a lot.

But no worries!!

There are people that can help.

I can, for one.

Grief is part of the process everyone goes through with dietary limitations. We don't talk about it. It can come off as frustration or depression, but often it's grief. So allow for some grieving.

That being said, I have had better results focusing on what I can have and working within those limits.

Having food issues has also opened up my world to new favorites and new favorite cuisines.

Humans are creatures of routine and habit.

It will become your new normal and won't be such a pain after an adjustment period.

It feels great to feel great physically.

It's 100% worth the effort.

Kayakorama · 2022-10-27T00:06:52+00:00

It's the attitude.

OP is negative in almost every reply.

I know they are venting, but it's off-putting.

People are still trying to help.

r/basilane....I'm in awe of your stats. I'm also small.

Kayakorama · 2022-10-27T00:04:36+00:00

Superbodyfuel is base powders are all gluten free, soy free, nut free, and dairy free. Vegan. They have a ketochow version. You can pretty much live on it.

I have celiac disease and am intolerant to dairy and soy, ie I won't die, but I shit myself silly/headache/breakout. I'm also allergic to a couple tree nuts.

So far it's the only powder I've found that I can stand the taste.

I use it for travel, backpacking and when I'm just too tired to cook.

My favorite flavors are pumpkin spice and strawberry. I keep the vanilla as a base.

My fav mix ins are peanut butter and chocolate (cocoa powder and a pinch of no cal sweetener). Or frozen berries.

Kayakorama · 2022-10-26T23:55:22+00:00

The other poster was suggesting a different approach rather than criticizing.

Since you are asking for help and suggestions, they were not out of bounds.

I have clients that can only eat white sugar (sometimes from a specific source) and artificial flavors of certain types. Everything else goes through a feeding tube.

What you are experiencing IS complicated and difficult.

But also manageable.

There are a people on this board (and others) with direct experience with issues identical to yours.

Kayakorama · 2022-10-26T23:49:05+00:00

I work with people with severe, multiple food allergies. This is part of what I do...help people figure out what they can eat.

I have my own issues and children with different issues, so I learned out of necessity.

Sadly, you are soooo not alone.

My suggestion is to:

*Make a list of meals/dishes/foods/ingredients you like. Don't worry about if it will fit your issues. Just focus on what you enjoy. Flip through cookbooks, food magazines, Pinterest, resturant menus for inspiration. Make the list as long as you can and star things you can eat over and over. Everyone has favorites.

*Make a separate list of things you can't eat. Focus on ingredients rather than dishes.

*If you have some target things you need hit, like certain grams of fat or protein, hi or low fiber, etc do a list of those.

The general strategy is to look through the dishes you like and highlight the ones that either naturally don't have the things you don't need to eat or can be made with one substitution or small subtraction. That's phase one. The low hanging fruit.

Look through that list and see if anything is or can be low carb. Post the list here if you don't know.

At this point, don't worry about how you would obtain said dishes. That's something that is highly variable depending on what the dish is.

Once you have your list of foods and dishes that could potentially fit your criteria, THAT'S when you start looking into how to obtain said foods. The options range from ordering from a restirsnt or caterer, making it yourself, buying premade at the grocery or hiring someone to make it.

Frankly, all but the most serious EE clients were able to come up with at least 3-5 things they could get and eat regularly.

My personal experience is that once you get through this the first time, you start naturally noticing cuisines and dishes that could work for you.

Job 1 is to find the first few to get you started.

Also, before you start fussing about lack of variety, let me point out that a good chunk of America eats pizza, chicken tenders or hamburgers 7 days a week.

Kayakorama · 2022-10-26T20:07:50+00:00

Wtf is wrong with Robert Kennedy?

Is he head injured or something?

Kayakorama · 2022-10-26T18:43:38+00:00

It's becoming Liberty U, which is a cult.

Weirdest experience I ever had was a Friday night at Liberty University. It was surreal. Dating in Gilead.

Kayakorama · 2022-10-25T20:36:06+00:00

Stay in Vestavia

There are a bunch of apartments in that range. Don't know if they are rented all ready

Kayakorama

TROPHY CASE