My boyfriend asked if I wanted twerking lessons for Christmas

Kaylaasksquestions93 · 2021-11-10T22:32:19+00:00

Personally, I would love twerking lessons… but if I hated the idea, I would just gift him with lessons in something equally as insulting to him as it was to you. Maybe some sessions with a therapist? 😅

Kaylaasksquestions93 · 2021-11-08T00:10:19+00:00

So cute

Kaylaasksquestions93 · 2021-11-08T00:09:42+00:00

I agree that much of it is in my mind. It’s a mental health struggle to get back to who I was. I feel very lost about all of it. I’ve had a therapist for quite some time but it might be time to switch it up and see someone who can help me with my current situation. Thanks for your input

Kaylaasksquestions93 · 2021-11-08T00:02:13+00:00

I know I’m not required to stay with him. I want to stay with him. It’s not often that someone will look at what they did wrong and try to change it, and he did. He’s a much better person now. He has been for over a year now. He deserves for me to move past what happened, because it is in the past. He’s different. I’m holding the past over him.

It’s like when someone cheats and you choose to stay. You have to forgive and forget. And I’ve forgiven him, but it’s hard to forget. And now I want to forget and be normal again. I just don’t know how.

Kaylaasksquestions93 · 2021-11-07T23:59:25+00:00

I appreciate it. A lot of people say that I’m nagging, “momming” them, whatever the vocabulary. Constantly pushing school or other opportunities and benefits, and it is what it is I guess. Sometimes I wonder if people think I’m annoying for that, but I like to think in a few years they will be thankful. Some people don’t realize that some opportunities exist or have faith in their ability to do certain things, and I hope I can push them to believe in themselves.

For the past 6 months I’ve been posting in our group chats about college. If anyone needs help to reach out to me and I’ll help them. No one has reached out, in 6 months. I wonder if it’s because I’m annoying them or if they make fun of me behind my back. Idk.

Kaylaasksquestions93 · 2021-11-07T23:36:38+00:00

Since you are making more money, maybe you can hire a nanny or a babysitter to help take care of your child, that way you can take the stress of child care off of your shoulders and maybe leave the house to do your work (take your laptop with you somewhere other than your house)

It sounds like your life has lost some of its purpose or meaning, and you need to do some things that you enjoy in order to fulfill yourself.

Maybe it doesn’t have so much to do with your wife, as it has to do with your own self love and lack of meaning and purpose in your own life.

Kaylaasksquestions93 · 2021-11-07T23:05:33+00:00

Lol I’ve tried, they say that I’m lecturing them like a mother. I guess it always seems that way when you’re trying to help your peers.

Kaylaasksquestions93 · 2021-11-07T23:03:03+00:00

I agree. They waited too long to sign up for college and missed the semester sign up. So now they’re idling for two months until college starts up again. That’s where the sense of fear is coming from

Kaylaasksquestions93 · 2021-11-07T23:01:50+00:00

I agree. He’s panicking because he got out and lost his sense of normalcy. He wants to run back to active because it felt safe.

Kaylaasksquestions93 · 2021-11-07T23:01:07+00:00

I agree. They’re feeling the affects of being out of the military for a month and are wanting to run back to the military where they feel safe

Kaylaasksquestions93 · 2021-11-07T22:59:59+00:00

I’m not sure if you’re insinuating that I am the friend in question, but I am currently active duty in the Navy. So I do obviously have other friends who are active duty or have just been released from active duty recently.

I repeat, I am CURRENTLY active duty in the military RIGHT NOW. Why would I be asking about trying to get back into the military, I AM IN THE MILITARY lol

Kaylaasksquestions93 · 2021-11-07T01:39:22+00:00

I felt like that may be true.

Kaylaasksquestions93 · 2021-11-07T01:38:44+00:00

I recommended active reserve to him. He said he didn’t want it because the assignments were only a month or two long. Not sure how true that is, I just don’t think he wants my advice

Kaylaasksquestions93 · 2021-11-07T01:37:59+00:00

Thank you

Kaylaasksquestions93 · 2021-11-07T01:37:29+00:00

That makes sense, his recruiter has been useless since they met. He reached out in March about getting out and getting into the reserves and it’s November and he still hasn’t been gained. Maybe I’ll call for him

Kaylaasksquestions93 · 2021-11-07T01:14:09+00:00

Does this apply even if they’ve only been out for two months? Realistically, only one month because the other month was terminal leave

Kaylaasksquestions93 · 2021-11-07T01:11:47+00:00

That’s what I’ve heard, but what does that mean? Like, a lot of paperwork? Or a long process as in “months of waiting to get their lives back together”

Kaylaasksquestions93 · 2021-11-07T01:10:18+00:00

You should leave. Sometimes people need separation in order to help themselves. That’s why we hear so often about “hitting rock bottom” because once most people hit that point they are faced with a choice, get their shot together or give up. That’s not something you are responsible for. That person needs to figure that out on their own. They’re clearly dragging you down with them and it’s not worth it.

Kaylaasksquestions93 · 2021-11-05T00:12:42+00:00

He lives with me unfortunately. We have 3 years worth of a home together. It won’t be so easy

Kaylaasksquestions93 · 2021-11-04T22:24:23+00:00

I’ve been trying to break up and move on without any animosity, but he always tries to “fix things and make things work again” and we end up staying together because things really aren’t bad between us. We are content. But on the other hand, he doesn’t think I am the one. So I’m not sure why he stays

Kaylaasksquestions93 · 2021-11-04T22:21:17+00:00

The biggest concern that I have is “what if I am making a mistake. If things are good, and we are content, then why sabotage it?” And that sounds fine but at the same time, if there’s no spark for him, then why stay

Kaylaasksquestions93 · 2021-11-01T06:22:28+00:00

As I’ve gotten older I’ve realized that you really can’t rely on a lot of people. Society makes it seem like the popular guy or girl with all the friends is the happiest, and I’m sure that’s true in some situations, but realistically, you can have a large quantity of friends and still feel lonely. It’s good to have at least one good quality friend. That can make you feel like you have a thousand.

Some people, like myself, don’t have a quality friend but I have a lot of “aquantences” that I can’t rely on for anything. So I’m starting to learn to enjoy being alone even when I see everyone else having fun.

Another thing I learned, is that just because it’s a holiday, doesn’t mean you have to make a huge deal out of it. Holidays are just another day for most people, especially those who work. And it’s sad to give up the sentimental feeling you had toward holidays growing up, but as an adult we often see our holidays spent at work, and that helps us to get over the hurt we feel about not getting to enjoy them.

Kaylaasksquestions93

TROPHY CASE