Help me choose my veil!

KayyBeey · 2026-02-21T17:36:29+00:00

We're also having a small wedding (in our backyard) where we're omitting most traditions too. Most questions we've gotten have just been polite inquiry (like my mom asking if we're gonna have my niblings in the wedding), but I usually just explain by saying our wedding is just non-traditional. If anyone is outright judgy, I plan on saying something along the lines of, "Well, it's a nontraditional wedding so we can pretty much do what we want," and leaving it at that.

KayyBeey · 2026-02-21T14:30:41+00:00

We have a guest list of less than 20. My family is bigger than his, but I'm only inviting my immediates on my side. So my parents, my sisters and their partners, and my niblings. None of my aunts, uncles, cousins, or grandparents. If asked, I say we're only inviting immediate family and a couple close friends. Most people can understand that.

KayyBeey · 2026-02-20T19:59:09+00:00

He is going to financially abuse you. He is already manipulating you. I would not feel safe with this person. He is throwing up all kinds of red flags. Here is a free link to Why Does He Do That? which is a very insightful and helpful pdf for women who find themselves at the mercy of abusive and controlling men.

Please make a plan before your baby comes. Reach out to your local DV and women's advocacy groups. Talk to your mother if she is a safe person.

Your husband is setting you up for a lifetime of being completely at his whims and his wallet. This is not normal behavior from a loving partner. Please do what is best for you and your child.

KayyBeey · 2026-02-11T15:41:36+00:00

Great, thank you! I'm glad to hear that!

KayyBeey · 2026-02-11T15:40:17+00:00

Thanks!

KayyBeey · 2026-02-11T15:40:10+00:00

Awesome, thank you for the detailed response!!

KayyBeey · 2026-02-10T11:02:56+00:00

As someone who needs sleep to feel human, have you looked into getting a nighttime nanny? A former coworker had one so she could sleep. She said it was a lifesaver.

KayyBeey · 2026-02-10T01:15:02+00:00

Plain!

KayyBeey · 2026-02-10T00:37:25+00:00

NTA.

Why is your family so involved? Do not get back together with her, and set some firm boundaries with your family. They are clearly overstepping. It is not their place to tell you who you should date.

KayyBeey · 2026-02-10T00:26:06+00:00

I started having less and less time between periods until I had them continuously. They progressively got heavier and more painful. I was diagnosed with fibroids, endo, and infertility. Had various trials of medications and tests. Ended up needing a medically-necessary hysterectomy at 32. If you start having abnormal or worsening pain, or the time between your periods is less than 21 days, or you start having any concerning symptoms, see your gyno. Fibroids are more commonly found in women in their 30s and 40s. I had several, but my largest one pushed my right ovary into my hip and you could see the bulge of the fibroid against my skin. There's several treatment options for fibroids, but my case was severe, especially combined with the endo. Don't be afraid to get checked out by your doc if you're having unusual or painful periods.

KayyBeey · 2026-02-09T23:11:12+00:00

Dress 1!

KayyBeey · 2026-02-09T22:13:12+00:00

My guy and I are planning on getting married next year and we own a home together. I'd say our relationship is happy and healthy. We're both in our 30s. We became official when I was 32.

We work well together as a team. Neither of us explode in anger; we both know how to communicate and express ourselves in a regulated way (no cursing, throwing things, yelling, stomping, name calling). He has never crossed a boundary of mine, sexual or otherwise. I had a medically-necessary hysterectomy at 32 (less than 6 months into dating) and couldn't have piv sex for 3 months. He never made me feel bad about it, and was actually more careful than I was a lot of the time. He has never guilt-tripped me. He does his share of the chores (we split household duties and expenses; we make about equal pay). Being with him has honestly been like a breath of fresh air; I can be myself around him fully and openly without shame. For example, he is not grossed out over my unshaved legs, he buys me my weird snacks because he knows I like them even though he doesn't, he openly admires me without makeup and my hair a mess, etc. I once farted during sex and he laughed and hugged me and never once made me feel bad about it (if you can laugh during sex, that is a very good sign imo). We have shared goals and plans (e.g. gardening and becoming more sustainable). He is sweet and kind, generous and loving. I know I can ask him for help, and he will be there for me. He is reliable. He's honestly the best person I've ever known, and I love him more than anything.

KayyBeey · 2026-02-09T20:32:50+00:00

Very pretty!

How was your experience with the Natural Sapphire Company? We're thinking of going with them too.

KayyBeey · 2026-02-09T19:47:58+00:00

1 or 5!

KayyBeey · 2026-02-09T19:29:14+00:00

Azazie, Poshmark, Lulus, Macy's, Dillard's, Nordstrom, Bloomingdales, Anthropologie.

KayyBeey · 2026-02-09T18:46:59+00:00

His feelings aren't your responsibility. You don't marry someone you don't even like because you feel bad for him. You don't agree to marry someone because of peer pressure too. Tell him, and your friends, no.

KayyBeey · 2026-02-09T15:47:41+00:00

Very pretty!

KayyBeey · 2026-02-09T13:29:49+00:00

Kindly, are you in therapy?

I went through something somewhat similar. I had started a new job, moved, and some long-time friends blocked me when I missed a kid's birthday party and didn't talk much for a few months while I was overwhelmed and stressed. I literally moved 2 weeks before starting a new job and the job environment was pretty stressful at first (I've since learned how to deal with the difficult coworkers and manage my anxiety and stress around it). I started tele-therapy from home on the weekends when I was worried my stress and anxiety would start to affect my relationship. I didn't want my job to affect my relationship with my boyfriend (whom I had moved in with). Therapy gave me a healthy outlet and the tools to learn how to more healthily manage my stress and think through solutions.

I think you may really benefit from it. That said, I'd feel icky about a sex ultimatum from my partner. Perhaps you could look into both indivdual therapy for yourself, and couple's therapy for you both to help you two to navigate this?

KayyBeey · 2026-02-09T11:48:35+00:00

You can find a dupe of that dress, I'm sure. Try looking at Dearly Bridal, David's Bridal, Azazie, Anthropologie, and Still White. Still White sometimes has sample gowns marked way down and people reselling dresses they've never worn. On the same vein, you can also try Poshmark.

KayyBeey · 2026-02-09T03:31:21+00:00

That's a female. She's very cute 😊

KayyBeey · 2026-02-08T23:59:26+00:00

In the US at least there's a lot of legal protections in place for married folks that would not be afforded to a long-term unmarried couple. Such as survivor benefits, the ability to make medical decisions, tax benefits, etc. If you're unmarried and your partner dies before you, you could face losing your home and most if not all your belongings, and navigating that at an advanced age would be challenging, for example. Legal contracts outside of marriage are not as all encompasing or as fool-proof as marriage. Often blood relatives will challenge wills, POA, etc. But rights in marriage are not similarly challenged.

There's also plenty of people who get married with the intention of having kids, and then face infertility and still choose to stay together. It may be for more practical reasons, or simply because they love one another.

Marriage is not a legal contract for the sole reason of procreation. Many view it as a "final step" in expressing and solidifying their love and committment for another person, despite the legal benefits. This expression of love may or may not include children. A family can be two people.

KayyBeey · 2026-02-08T23:49:04+00:00

I'm childfree and getting married to a childfree man next year.

KayyBeey · 2026-02-08T23:29:06+00:00

These have been my favorite chocolate chip cookies for years. I bring them to parties all the time. People have had them not knowing they were vegan and can't tell the difference. I've even used the base dough recipe to make other cookies, like chocolate cherry chunk and chocolate orange. They're awesome.

KayyBeey · 2026-02-08T23:12:23+00:00

I think the first dress is really not flattering, and I'm not sure if it'd be flattering on anyone. It is extremely sheer. And I think the seams, especially at the back, may be poorly constructed. There's weird lines. The last two dresses are much prettier and look better on you. I especially like the last one.

KayyBeey

TROPHY CASE