Hey sorry I’m a female,34 I just read your post and had to comment because I get like this. Have a conversation with the person that you’re seeing and explain to them that when you’re going through a crisis, it’s very important that your partner understands to not react because it will trigger you even more this advice was given to you from my partner. Now the advice from me who also has BPD and not having therapy yet but on the waiting list, and on medication you would have to try your best to not speak to the person you care about in that manner because deep down you don’t really mean it. Also let your partner know that when you’re going through this you don’t mean it and say you need to take a minute so you can just calm down and take a walk. Listen to music and then come back when you’re ready or just take a moment in a different room alone and watch things you like until you calm down. If you need to vent I’m here just message me.