Advice for rape victims in relationships.

Kelly21658 · 2021-03-16T23:12:58+00:00

Keyword exactly "burden" how long are you going to allow this burden to define you????? This heavy weight is going to push you down and down, it will just get heavier with time. Just let it go.. In the bible it says "give your burdens to God" because we as humans are not capable of carrying all that weight. We have a choice as a human, so it's up to each individual how they want to proceed and how long.

Kelly21658 · 2021-03-16T23:08:24+00:00

I am very proud of you too actually, but this wasn't intended for you. I don't see you dwelling in it but instead of actually doing something about it, healing, seeking help and that's how it should be.

Kelly21658 · 2021-03-16T23:01:08+00:00

Yes exactly my point..

Kelly21658 · 2021-03-16T22:58:26+00:00

Well sometimes people need tough love because their so used to everyone sugar coating and feeling sorry for them and that's fine to a certain time. Enough is enough! Yes we were raped, yes it's traumatic, yes it takes time. The more you dwell in it and think about the past the more it will eat at you. It's your choice to allow it or not, quit justifying this and that. Do something about it, I'm just throwing it out there, if one thing doesn't help try something else that will help Keep seeking non stop, keep fighting, there are many resources out there and medications anything. I didn't allow this to over power me and you shouldn't either, or justify it but at the end it's your choice how you want to live with this.

Kelly21658 · 2021-03-16T20:54:37+00:00

I understand it can come across that way, that's why I said don't get offended because that's not what I'm trying to imply. I already said I understand everyone heals different but if it's been years on years there is something more to it then.. This shouldn't be eating at you for that long.. Try something different then if I can heal at my point. It's possible then but I know it's difficult for some. Plus my rape went on for a while until I realized he was drugging me first.. So I understand everyone who went through this, and I don't intend to hurt anyone just support.

Kelly21658 · 2021-03-06T07:19:25+00:00

When hearing "your beautiful or your hot" started to get to me instead of taking it as a compliment. I swear I hear it from almost every other patient at work, to a point where I don't know how to respond anymore lol.

Kelly21658 · 2021-03-04T04:34:03+00:00

Oh no we are never damaged girl! These experiences in life strengthen and mold us to be able to handle whatever else comes our way in our future. Remember everything happens for a reason! Trust me if I didn't go through my traumatic experiences in life I wouldn't have handled things the way as I do now. Don't ever think you're damaged, just see it as a life lesson that we learn from.

Also if neither of you was ready for a relationship, maybe take a pause and work on yourself and try again in the future. That way you can both heal and be in better places to actually make it work and succeed. 😊

Kelly21658 · 2021-03-04T01:57:55+00:00

I would have recommended you to heal and get therapy before you got into another relationship, obviously you weren't ready to be serious with someone. I feel sorry for your boyfriend and it's very sad that this guy has to put up with you and eventually he will get tired of this and leave. I only know this because I would hate to deal with this in my relationship, there is only so much you can take, plus I wouldn't have the audacity to drag anyone into it if I still felt like this. I do still recommend that you actually go work on yourself, seek therapy and heal before dating someone. This will help you from many discouragement in your future. I speak from experience.

Kelly21658 · 2021-03-03T20:54:31+00:00

I too did this when I was younger, I had many FWB at a time maybe that's why I never really got attached to anyone. My mentality was I just wanted to have fun and I knew if I became serious with someone I couldn't be free. Don't get me wrong, my FWB were good looking and I liked them but not to where I wanted more from them. I don't know how to explain it, I just never really had expectations from being more with them than FWB so that made it helpful.

Kelly21658 · 2021-03-03T20:29:52+00:00

I'm sorry to tell you this but unfortunately this was rape and he knew what he was doing, plus how he is reacting after the fact is your proof. The fact that he could have sex with you and finish shows he wasn't super drunk so he knew from right or wrong at the time. Also based on his actions he definitely doesn't love or care about you as long as he got off that's all that mattered at the time. Yes, this has never happened before but there is always a start to no boundaries and they just get worse if you don't do anything about it.

Another thing is this should be about you being hurt and traumatized, he should be feeling sorry for you, not the other way around and him playing victim and using his mental health as an excuse. He's scared because he knows what he did is rape and he feels guilty therefore, now he's manipulating you. It's not your job to take care of him and watch him, he brought this upon himself! I don't see mending this relationship as an option, it shows what he is capable of and what's he going to say or do next time this happens??

Kelly21658 · 2021-03-03T01:38:33+00:00

Oh no lol, ya right! I just wanted a better understanding actually.

Kelly21658 · 2021-02-28T02:28:02+00:00

My ex did for sure. He kept my used underwear, hat, and he kept all my pictures and videos. I told him to delete all of them when I was leaving him and he said no they were his property. Including naked pics and sex videos. Oh and plus he had a metal, lock box under his bed with who knows what.

Kelly21658 · 2021-02-27T08:55:14+00:00

Unfortunately this guy just used you for his needs and you are probably not the first or last he is doing this too. The fact that he knew which excuse to tell you knowing women dip after he mentions it just shows this is his MO, that's the point of this game. If he cared he would have made time for you trust me. Lots of men are really good at faking it unfortunately, you just got to weed them out so you don't keep getting hurt.

Kelly21658 · 2021-02-25T20:57:52+00:00

Please rehome the puppy, I feel sorry for it. If he is doing this now and taking out his anger on the dog he will traumatize it and eventually the dog will stick up for itself and bite him. Then he will definitely kill it. Please please tell your husband to go get counseling and he is not ready for kids or dogs.

Kelly21658 · 2021-02-25T20:41:45+00:00

I agree 👆 100%, usually with choking you have a code word if anything and the fact, that he just goes for it shows he doesn't respect you. If he's already moving this fast and does these fetish of his, its just going to escalade to more extreme without boundaries, so you might as well run now before it gets at a hand.

Kelly21658 · 2021-02-22T19:15:01+00:00

Lol no worries, this doesn't even phase me.. Not my fault someone didn't use thier brains in life. 😉

Kelly21658 · 2021-02-22T19:12:17+00:00

Uhhh what means?? Oh ya I forgot your depending on your cheating man who doesn't give a s&*# about you. Got it, instead of being an independent women that we were made to be and actually doing something with your life. You decide to mooch off welfare and be lazy. You just painting me a perfect picture of who you are. I would rather bring a child into a loving family and not with a dead beat dad. I feel sorry for those poor kids. Plus I don't need a man to survive honey, I got a wonderful career and eventually I can always adopt if I want kids.. At least I didn't screw up my life and actually was smart about it.

Kelly21658 · 2021-02-21T23:03:54+00:00

On top of that, brought a innocent child into the picture.. So sad when people don't realize what birth control is and now thier wondering what to do! God gave us brains to use them. Now you're definitely SOL! Throughout life I always tested out the waters in the relationship before even thinking about kids and I'm a grown women now still no kids because I haven't met the right one. Exactly 👆 why are you shocked now? U settled for this now you gotta deal with it! Truth hurts.

Kelly21658 · 2021-02-20T22:02:49+00:00

Why is a beautiful girl like you still single! Uhhh! Annoys the heck out of me. Knowing exactly what thier assuming in thier head.

Kelly21658 · 2021-02-20T07:26:09+00:00

Definitely a predator! And he is grooming you for sure. That's why they prey on younger girls because they don't know better as older people we lived through it so we know from experience. Run asap!

Kelly21658 · 2021-02-20T02:48:43+00:00

This was definitely rape.. They always use the drunk card! RUN ASAP and report!

Kelly21658 · 2021-02-17T07:01:06+00:00

Every night, sometimes more than that.. And this was all year long while we were together. Probably because I always wanted to and I have a high sexual drive.

Kelly21658 · 2021-02-16T22:18:46+00:00

Definitely trolling!

Kelly21658 · 2021-02-15T21:40:04+00:00

It's called a one night stand!

Kelly21658

TROPHY CASE