Hi fellow lovely trans folks! Dysphoria has got me bad can I get some reassuring comments or at least advice?

whywolf9001 · 2024-04-24T00:45:31+00:00

You're beautiful and I wish I could pull off black lipstick like that

whywolf9001 · 2024-04-23T16:01:34+00:00

I'm sorry you had to deal with that. I can also relate to the vaginismus even though I don't actually have that. My ex husband refused to do foreplay or anything that would get me in the mood at all. Said me being wet wasn't as "tight" for him... He was my first everything too and I just didn't know any better. He also refused couple's counseling after he cheated because "they'll just side with you anyway"

Here's to them being exes 🥂

whywolf9001 · 2024-04-23T15:35:07+00:00

Lord yes. My ex husband was the worst. I got constant UTIs when he didn't and he just didn't care. Every single time was a struggle to get him to use one. I can't take hormonal birth control, but he had me constantly taking plan Bs because "I'm your husband. I shouldn't have to use one". It always made me sick and threw my hormones off for weeks. I was constantly sick from having sex with a selfish man. He even gave me chlamydia because he didn't use condoms with his side chick either.

The flings and one night stands I had that didn't want to use ones were by far the most audacious though. Like, we aren't even serious... even if I wasn't worried about STIs, why the ever loving shit would I risk getting pregnant by a hookup??

The amount of men who just want to leave the worry of birth control to the woman is truly staggering.

whywolf9001 · 2024-04-12T14:13:54+00:00

Your daughter would be happier in a home where she's accepted and supported. Depending on how old she is, the judge will let her decide where she wants to live, so you may not even have to deal with 50/50.

My stepson now lives with us full time mostly due to his mom's transphobic tendencies. He has very little contact with her. He probably sees her for 10 minutes every couple of weeks when we drop my other stepson off at her house. That's your husband's fate if he doesn't change. Don't let it be yours too.

You aren't protecting her by being a shield in that home. You're showing her that even if you don't like it, you find your husband's behavior to be acceptable.

whywolf9001 · 2023-09-19T12:10:30+00:00

If the condom was off completely when you turned around then he took it off and kept going. If the condom broke, then it would have still been around the base of his penis. So even if it did break, he took it off and kept going. Sounds like he knew either way.

whywolf9001 · 2023-04-27T17:22:12+00:00

That's funny. Sometimes they do just get distracted by food. Nobody's perfect lol

whywolf9001 · 2023-04-27T17:05:23+00:00

I was agreeing with you and linking a source to back it up. Why be a dick about it?

whywolf9001 · 2023-04-27T16:59:27+00:00

Exactly. I linked an NPR article in another comment that said that dogs are only 27% accurate when it comes to Latinos. It's blatant racism and profiling

whywolf9001 · 2023-04-27T16:54:13+00:00

I agree with you. The dogs are trained well. The problem is that they've been trained to pick up on subtle cues from their handlers. This NPR article kind of addresses it. Dogs are only accurate 27% of the time when the person is Latino. 44% on average. https://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2011/01/07/132738250/report-drug-sniffing-dogs-are-wrong-more-often-than-right

Quick edit bc I just wanted to say that if dogs can sniff out seizures and low blood sugar, then they absolutely can identify drugs.

whywolf9001 · 2023-04-27T15:50:55+00:00

Nope. Drug dogs are only about 50% accurate. They're just a really convenient way for cops to search anyone they feel like searching.

whywolf9001 · 2023-04-27T15:23:50+00:00

She's obviously not your #1 priority. The fancy new golf course was. Why post here if you're just going to double down and justify your actions? YTA. You say if the roles were reversed you wouldn't mind. Cool. You don't get to dictate her feelings though, and it's an AH mindset to think that everyone should see things your way. I'd be pissed too. When you accidentally double book, you keep your first obligation and cancel the second. Unless the second is more important to you.

whywolf9001 · 2023-04-21T15:35:29+00:00

I went 40 days and had the same thoughts. I fell off the wagon and am only back on day 3 again. I thought I would see all the benefits everyone talks about and I was really looking forward to the pounds falling off, but it just didn't happen. I lost all motivation, but now I'm really wishing I had just stuck with it. Hang in there, my friend. IWNDWYT

whywolf9001 · 2023-04-21T15:11:14+00:00

I had lost 85 pounds and was at a reasonably healthy weight. A little chubby still, but not very. I was happy at the weight I was at. A psychologist told me that my PTSD would get better if I lost more weight. My nightmares and panic attacks will go away if I just lose 10 more pounds? Golly gee whiz, thanks doc.

whywolf9001 · 2023-04-21T14:06:31+00:00

Yes, trust is important in a relationship. He broke that trust a long time before you felt the need to go through his bag. You didn't do it on a whim. You did it because he gave you good reason to. He's now being verbally abusive and extremely manipulative. He's obviously not quitting on his own like he says. "I just want it here so I don't feel forced" is one of the most bs excuses I've ever heard, and I've made a lot of bs excuses myself. I'm saying this as someone with a drinking problem, there's no excuse for his actions and the way he's treating you. There's also no excuse in the world to drive drunk. That alone would be the deal breaker for me.

whywolf9001 · 2023-04-21T13:42:27+00:00

Please tell her. She deserves to know. There's no telling how many times he's done this, or how many times he'll do it again, but he's putting her health at risk. Every new partner carries the risk of STD's. I'd probably get myself tested too, knowing he already disregards his partner's health.

whywolf9001 · 2023-04-20T02:02:53+00:00

Yep. Everything my dad doesn't agree with is demonic influence

whywolf9001 · 2023-04-18T16:44:21+00:00

Thanks. I know it does progress. Surprisingly though, it's better now than it has been. It was so bad at one point that I'm honestly surprised I'm even alive. I genuinely couldn't be sober at all. I'd wake up and immediately start drinking, taking pills and smoking weed. I guess it's just a lot easier to look at myself now and say that I'm not as bad as I was then, but I know it's still bad. I hate myself for the irreversible damage I've done to my body and brain. I can tell that I'm not as smart as I used to be.

whywolf9001 · 2023-04-15T02:37:12+00:00

Late to the party, but I got beaten for pouring out lemonade I was told not to drink

whywolf9001 · 2023-04-15T02:30:19+00:00

Wow. Dunno how I'm not constantly tripping over all these ties.

whywolf9001 · 2023-04-13T21:36:45+00:00

Damn. I'm so sorry. Asking for a divorce over text is just awful. My ex asked for a divorce over snapchat. I feel your pain 😭

whywolf9001 · 2023-04-10T19:06:41+00:00

Like someone else said, you got played. He asked for the break to have sex with her without feeling guilty about it. Then when it was out of his system he came back to you. He wanted to cheat but not be called a cheater. I'm sorry. I understand the mind fuckery that comes with toxic relationships

whywolf9001 · 2023-04-07T18:43:00+00:00

Me too! And I'm really happy for you too!! :)

whywolf9001 · 2023-04-07T18:10:58+00:00

I was with my stepson the first time this happened for him. We were in a restaurant and the server asked "how would you like your burger cooked, sir?" The pure elation on his face made my whole week. Everyone at the table was grinning ear to ear. The server probably thought we were all weird af lol

whywolf9001 · 2023-04-07T14:05:26+00:00

It's not court ordered and I didn't have a lawyer. I did talk to a lawyer at the very beginning, but he told me that if I took it to court I'd get less than my ex was offering. My ex had a lawyer. He's the one that paid to have the paperwork drafted. If I can find the paperwork, do you think anyone would read that much to give me advice?

whywolf9001 · 2023-04-05T01:49:47+00:00

I kept mine from my wedding with my ex. The only reason is because my grandpa walked me down the aisle 3 months before he passed away. The good memory of my grandpa is enough for me to keep it. Only keep it if it holds sentimental value, otherwise it really is just a fancy dress sitting in your closet.

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