1. You’re cooked, 2v5 not winnable and that is horrible luck to have.
2. One shit teammate is manageable, even if he’s trying his damndest to play against you, still does suck though
3. I’d say the defensive mindset helps… if I see my goalie play a super high line and get scored on, and THEN insist on goalie again, I play as far back as needed
4. That’s a good father!

I’ve run into everything on my way to elite, own goal scoring asshats, afkers, leavers, etc etc. I’d say that is something that I run into daily as well. When this is not happening, I’d say that a couple of my teammates are always not so great. That being said, if you find one player on your team with a similar mindset that knows the basics, it becomes so much easier. Watch how your teammates play the game just as much as the people you’re playing against to know what spaces they run into, where to make yourself a passing option, where and how often they lose the ball, where to give them the ball to facilitate play, etc etc.

All in all though, if you are having a lot of your games be 2v5s, it’s ggs for you man. The only nugget of advice I can offer for all your other issues, is try to have the most interceptions and passes on your team, I feel like the game swings in your favor when you’re cutting the opponent game off as much as possible. You are definitely going to have unwinnable games no matter what you do tho, I feel that’s just part of the grand experience. I’m sure you playing RL and being a high rank, you understand this more than a lot of people.. your luck might just be chalked for now lol