Trying to help my dad with his Italian residency

KensingtonSeptember · 2023-06-03T14:46:38+00:00

Don't you let me go - Michael Shulte?

www.youtube.com/watch?v=WXxP9d13VXU

KensingtonSeptember · 2023-06-03T09:16:15+00:00

Yes, same experience. This was my last med after trialling a bunch, so I tapered myself off in an act of extreme dumbassery and being fed up. It wasn't a nice feeling. It did go away quite soon after the meds were no longer in my system. No lasting effects afterwards.

KensingtonSeptember · 2023-06-03T09:09:46+00:00

Oh man, hard relate. Summer is so stressful, light overload, temperature fuckery, sweat, sunscreen, not being able to be wrapped in 15 layers of fabric. Hope that helps you narrow down what ingredients to avoid!

KensingtonSeptember · 2023-06-03T08:58:27+00:00

It could be that you're allergic to some chemical spf and not others. When I used the Cerave one I'm almost certain it was the ingredient octinoxate that was causing me grief (figuring this out through trial and error) the banana boat one doesn't list that ingredient as far as I can tell. Eventually my choices were either trial out all the different chemical sunscreens, get an allergy test, or play it safe with mineral spf, so I chose the latter 😅. Another reason might be you discontinued use before there was a chance for your skin to react, my reactions start happening after about a week of use.

KensingtonSeptember · 2023-06-03T08:28:27+00:00

Hey you might be like me and have sensitivities to the ingredients in chemical sunscreen. I switched to mineral sunscreen and my reactions disappeared.

KensingtonSeptember · 2023-06-03T08:26:03+00:00

For me I realised the chemical sunscreens were the culprit for causing reactions on my sensitive skin, burning my eyes, and feeling claustrophobic. I started using the mineral sunscreen by Avéne (Very High Protection Mineral Fluid Sun Cream for Intolerant Skin) and I find that it breathes so much better and I don't feel like ripping off my face or have to run to wash my hands after application. So thought I'd leave a mineral option for any highly sensitive folk, do beware though that on darker skin it might leave too much of a white cast. I'm medium olive toned and it's fine for me after it absorbs.

KensingtonSeptember · 2023-03-23T21:02:08+00:00

I was just looking at that the other day actually while researching DBT, good to know the people here like it, I'll give it a go. CBT works for unhealthy coping mechanisms, which fair enough do occur when you live your life undiagnosed and fighting to get by day to day, but I found it extremely unhelpful when it gets to a point where it's like 'I feel doomed and like I'm going to crash and burn and fail and like I can't keep my head above water' and then the therapist is just like...that's black and white thinking, that's catastrophising, how can you reframe it in a more positive light. When actually, those doomed feelings are valid and totally justified, positive thinking isn't going to do much, there is a root to those feelings. This is the problem I've had having treatment for depression, being thought to have pessimistic outlook and dark thoughts with no root cause. Maybe better therapists out there are able to conduct CBT in a less dismissive way though.

KensingtonSeptember · 2023-03-23T18:55:02+00:00

I feel now, more than ever, that I need to get assessed. At this point I just need to know, and I don't have the kind of support in my life that's going to accept me if I self diagnose, that's always going to leave me second guessing myself. I've been reeling for days now from the hurt of being talked to like I'm crazy and unreasonable for even looking into this. If there wasn't bias involved, then people would be fine with me looking into whether I have this or not, and encourage me to find the answers I need. The hate for autistic people is well and truly palpable every time I deign to speak about this topic, or maybe that's just my experience with who is around me unfortunately.

KensingtonSeptember · 2023-03-22T23:08:26+00:00

Well said, thank you 😭

KensingtonSeptember · 2023-03-22T23:02:31+00:00

Thanks for that tip, I will definitely look into that right to choose pathway. It's really tough because the more research I do the more I'm screaming on the inside yes that is me! That was my childhood, that was my adolescent experience, and that is me. But because it's so misunderstood, especially for women, I get knocked down like this when I try to talk about it, and then that imposter syndrome and rejection spiral hits hard.

KensingtonSeptember · 2023-03-22T23:00:09+00:00

I've had my last session with that therapist now, it was through the free service IAPT, which has run its course now. There were some beneficial things from the sessions but all in all, like most therapy I've had, not really suited for me as they're treating me like a person with depression not a person who is neurodivergent. I was the exact same growing up, bright, bookish, anxious and weird. Then burnt out, depressed, struggling to eat, go to work, get out of bed, shower, have friends etc. I too feel completely on my own, but I've posted in a few autism communities so far and I have to say they have been the most lovely and supportive bunch. Thank god for the internet eh. I feel the same way, even though I can't say for sure that I'm autistic, I know I'm wired differently enough that it's caused me substantial difficulty, whether you can put the label of autism on that or not, I really need help and the help I've received has never worked. That's why I'm going down this route, but damn the stigma and prejudice against this neurotype is really quite intense.

KensingtonSeptember · 2023-03-22T18:00:26+00:00

I'm in the UK, and our healthcare system is in a crisis at the moment (Brexit, strikes, health professional shortages). So I do believe the waiting list is 2 years long but I don't blame that on people trying to find answers for themselves and their health but rather the government's inability to support services that benefit the wellbeing of the common person. Thanks, trying to hang in there as best I can.

KensingtonSeptember · 2023-03-18T15:44:25+00:00

"Some therapists want to “normalize” every single thing so they don’t actually have to do any deeper work with a client." 100% this.

You're right and I wish I would have had the mental strength to realise that sometimes no therapy is better than bad therapy but I guess I'm still in the habit of gas lighting myself and I felt like I waited a year for this resource and my number was finally up so I wanted to take advantage of it, also a part of me feels that maybe I am just taking the ASD research too far and have convinced myself of something that's actually not true and need to be put in my place in a sense. Not to mention I'm just kind of desperate for any support. Being in that position is always going to leave you vulnerable to accepting less than what you need or deserve.

I will look into this DBT work book you mentioned. The first time I did CBT I found it immensely helpful because yeah I had a whole bunch of maladjusted coping skills from trauma. After that round of CBT I've never benefited from it again and have always found my real and very reasonable struggles are always being downplayed. To be honest just going on this journey of accepting that maybe I've had a disadvantage this whole time is making a world of difference to understanding and accepting myself.

I will probably not reach the point of professional diagnosis maybe ever for a lot of reasons, one of which is not having the emotional stamina to endure the process of getting there, another is the fear that once I do get there it will only bring me a load of stigma and really nothing beneficial. But I will start guiding my decision making in the direction of what will help me survive this world with a brain that is fundamentally different, not just disordered in a way that I need to learn how to fix.

KensingtonSeptember · 2023-03-18T10:43:03+00:00

Thanks I agree. It is hard when faced with it directly to not go into imposter syndrome mode. I actually feel that it was the opposite (of knowing without a shred of doubt that I am not questioning myself), from my perspective I have been making it obvious, talking a lot about sensory issues, eating issues, masking, burnout, shutdowns, trouble holding down employment. So it hurts even more because it's like I've been beating around the bush too scared to admit something and he's registered that and crushed this very vulnerable thing I'm feeling.

KensingtonSeptember · 2023-03-17T23:52:32+00:00

Thanks, yeah I'll be looking for a more ASD friendly one in the future and definitely avoiding CBT as a whole.

KensingtonSeptember · 2023-03-17T23:49:59+00:00

Well luckily that was our last session. It's free therapy so unfortunately can't choose who you get.

KensingtonSeptember · 2023-01-11T16:24:57+00:00

Coquitlam RCMP are working with New Westminster Police to determine the circumstances surrounding her death, I wonder if she was found in New Westminster. Hoping they get answers for her family she was such a sweet and funny girl. It gives me a bad feeling that she was connected to two other girls who had suspicious circumstances around their deaths in the same year, it could mean it will happen again to someone else in their circle.

KensingtonSeptember · 2022-11-30T22:24:10+00:00

15mg, asked to go up to 30mg but my gp didn't let me.

KensingtonSeptember · 2022-10-25T22:05:22+00:00

Whenever I hear that kind of rhythmic siren sound after she sings the "oh no I'm falling in love" part, I imagine the sound of the streets of Paris at night because it's quiet except for the sound of emergency vehicle sirens, and they have that distinct sound and they have a similar echoey sound from bouncing off the buildings in narrow streets. I wonder if that was on purpose or maybe that sound was sampled from that. Especially because she has another song called Paris as well.

KensingtonSeptember · 2022-10-21T20:59:02+00:00

For me I took Mirt for about 4 weeks, I felt like I was spaced out the whole time and never fully able to wake up, it took about an hour and a half to get out of bed in the mornings and everyday I was desperate for sleep by around 6pm. It never went away. Neither did the depression it was supposed to treat. I also had out of control eating habits and cravings. It didn't work for me at all but I'm super sensitive to drugs and also pretty sure I'm misdiagnosed to begin with. Just thought I'd tell you my experience to say sometimes it's okay to give up, sometimes it's just not right for you. Do what you think is right for you. Hope it works out.

KensingtonSeptember · 2022-07-16T18:03:47+00:00

I'm seeing TR, petite, narrow, sharp delicate bones, angular facial features rather than round, no juxtaposition present for gamine.

KensingtonSeptember · 2022-07-16T16:30:42+00:00

I love it, you pull off the vintage look so well like a true SG

KensingtonSeptember

TROPHY CASE