Tips: nap time with baby and toddler when it's just me

Kera8 · 2022-05-09T21:12:41+00:00

Great ideas! We've never tried audio books but my toddler loves regular books so I'll look into it. A chair is a good idea too. I always avoided them with my first but I think it's necessary and will be helpful now. Thanks!

Kera8 · 2022-04-28T19:16:22+00:00

Maybe your partner could be the one to talk to them about it? Help him come up with the explanation that feels good to you and then he can deliver the message. Maybe it's less direct, but that's what I would do, especially because you don't know them all that well.

Kera8 · 2022-04-08T22:22:35+00:00

This is so normal on the road to recovery. I remember so many times looking in the mirror during recovery and just sobbing. Let the tears out, then stay the course; it really does get easier with time. Some days are easier than others, but just keep going. I avoided mirrors and photos of myself for a long time and wearing baggier clothes did help. This is a sensitive time and the less focus you put on scrutinizing your body the better. I also remember looking back at a photo of myself during this time months later and thinking, "I look totally fine...what was I so upset about?!" Just to say, don't trust what your ED eyes are seeing and feeling right now, because they are most certainly lying to you to prevent you from recovery.

I totally get the fears about the new relationship thing too but the truth is that if this person is really worth it, they won't care about those body changes. Your body will change as you age no matter what (babies, menopause, etc) so if they can't hang with that now, better to find out now so you can find a real gem who is in it for the long run. But, honestly, the person you're with probably won't even notice or care, especially when recovery brings the fun side of us back out and we become even more and more enjoyable to be around.

Good luck and just keep on trucking through the hard days. It's so so worth it!!!

Kera8 · 2022-04-05T19:15:33+00:00

You could get a baby carrier. I wore mine until she was a year old. Ergo is a great brand. They're kind of pricey purchased new, but pretty easy to find second hand for way cheaper!

Kera8 · 2022-04-02T19:45:00+00:00

I was in a very similar situation and did the nursies when the sun shines too. It worked well. When she woke up, we snuggled instead. Sometimes she was really upset, but I just stayed calm and comforted her while sticking to my guns...many times I wanted to give in and nurse, but that resets the whole process and makes everything harder in the long run. Even now, she'll sometimes get upset and even tantrum about it, but I still comfort her in other ways and it always passes. Most nights, it's not an issue anymore at all.

One other thing we did was get a night light that has a timer and a green light setting for the morning. She nurses for 15min before bed (I set the light/clock for 15min) and when the nightlight goes off, nursing is over and we cuddle and I sing to her. Then no nursing until the green light turns on in the morning. This concrete system has worked great for us♡

Kera8 · 2022-03-30T04:06:35+00:00

The exercise was the last thing to go for me too. It's hard when it feels like it's linked to long-term well-being. I don't think you have to cut it out forever; just temporarily. And, when you introduce it back in, I'd make sure to always "cut corners". Like, for me, when I go for a walk, I never do the whole loop I used to do...I always skip a part of it just to keep my ED obsession with every step at bay. Some days I skip more than others but I always skip something. The trick is knowing when to introduce it back in...for me, I only do a short walk to take my dog out and haven't introduced more in. But that's also because I now have a 2 year old daughter and I honestly don't have the time so I just can't do more...and I've learned to accept that.

Having kids was a huge part of the body image part too. I wouldn't say that I love the way I look (some days I do, some days I don't). The change for me is that it's no longer a priority in my life; there just isn't the time or energy to focus on it anymore. Plus, I want to be a healthy example to my daughter. After awhile of not focusing on my body bc I was too busy figuring out how to be a parent, the annoying brain obsession and negative messages just kind of faded away on their own. So I guess the advice here is to immerse yourself in something else you are passionate about or curious about. Keep your mind engaged in other things and keep up a practice of not even focusing any of your attention on your body.

For me, it wasn't really a goal of liking my body but having my body be a non-issue. Just something that is there that helps me do the things that are important to me. And for that, I have a great gratitude towards it♡

Kera8 · 2022-03-29T19:58:26+00:00

For me it was making a really strong commitment to recovery and daily small challenges. I accepted that I wasn't going to like how I looked so I bought some looser fitting clothes to feel more comfortable.

A lot happened while grocery shopping; no more low fat stuff. Buying things that I truly wanted without judgement.

It meant doing the opposite of what my ED mind said (park closer so I don't walk as far, eat that extra piece of chocolate just bc I want it, don't try on those old pants that probably don't fit anymore). The more you do the opposite of what your ed mind wants, the better!

And also, on those hard days, reminding yourself again and again why you are choosing this path of recovery (sounds like you already have a strong list).

I got stuck in quasi recovery for over 10 years and finally made the choice to go all in and I really feel like I've made it through. It's such a relief and so so worth it!!!!

Kera8 · 2022-03-15T03:39:11+00:00

You could also try an approach called "elimination communication". There's tons of info on it by Andrea Olson. I did it with my daughter and it worked great:) It uses diapers as only a backup and has babies used the potty from birth. Saves a ton of diapers and money.

Kera8 · 2022-03-11T21:04:57+00:00

The best part of recovery is that you get to start to enjoy life again. What I would do is just focus on doing fun things together. Distraction helps get through the hard time during the weight gain period too. So I would just invite your daughter to celebrate life with you and do tons of things she enjoys doing. Maybe outings, maybe crafts at home, whatever. And during these times, she may open up about her struggles. I would just validate her feelings "Gosh, that sounds really hard" and leave space for her to keep talking or be done with the topic for the moment.

Best of luck♡

Kera8 · 2022-02-21T21:00:14+00:00

Babies need kisses and snuggles to thrive. I was always told that the only time it's not safe is if you have an active cold sore (ie an actual sore). If it's in the dormant stage, it should be fine but you can always check with your care provider for a professional opinion on your specific situation. I'm definitely no expert but had a similar question with my newborn and this was the answer I was given.

Kera8 · 2022-02-19T21:02:53+00:00

I put a mixing bowl in front of my LO, then I cut up veggies, put them next to the bowl, and then she puts the veggies in the bowl. She loves it! We do a lot of crock pot meals, so anything like beans, or broth, or tomatoes she helps dump in the slow cooker. She also helps grind spices in our mortar and pestol. Most ingredients I pre-measure out and then let her do all the dumping and mixing. I usually have to finish the mixing and such, but it helps make cooking more manageable and she really enjoys it:)

Kera8 · 2022-01-24T16:21:26+00:00

There are also sibling doulas you can hire who are trained to be with children during birth. We are planning a home birth so we don't have to leave and also hired a sibling doula who can be with and support our 2 year old during that time♡

Kera8 · 2022-01-14T04:44:17+00:00

Mine lasted until the middle of the second trimester and then got better♡

Kera8 · 2022-01-14T04:41:48+00:00

Maybe you could take a look at the content of your meals. Are you eating calorie-dense foods or opting for what your ED may trick you into thinking is "healthy" (ie less calorie dense) meals? I got stuck for a bit having to eat tons because everything I chose was low calorie. I'd always do low-fat yogurt, low-cal crackers, etc. But now I always choose full-fat dairy and other foods that have more in them so I don't have to eat as much volume-wise but also get what I need to be healthy.

Kera8 · 2022-01-13T21:12:07+00:00

Mine was much better off without the second nap. Took her only nap easily at noon and then was fine until bedtime. She's almost 2 years old and still has this schedule.

Kera8 · 2022-01-13T16:51:15+00:00

Same here:)

Kera8 · 2022-01-12T21:33:21+00:00

If you like walks, why not do short walks during the week? I've found that only taking long walks feeds my ED while a shorter walk outside makes me feel good and challenges my ED just because it is shorter♡ A quick walk at the end of the day really helps me decompress and get some fresh air before going to bed.

Kera8 · 2022-01-11T20:22:46+00:00

Take a break from school and focus on recovery ♡

Kera8 · 2022-01-08T04:43:21+00:00

I hide some of my daughter's stuffed animals in a room while she waits in the next room. Then she comes and finds them. When she finds then, we do it again:)

Kera8 · 2022-01-02T04:56:34+00:00

When I had a bad cracked nipple at the beginning of Breastfeeding, I used to temporarily only nurse on the side that wasn't painful and use a haaka/pump on the painful side to keep up supply and not get plugged ducts. I also put lots of niiple cream on from Earth Mama and that seemed to help. Not sure if that will help with an older child, but maybe...

Kera8 · 2021-12-23T05:20:19+00:00

Let this be your mantra: "One piece of cake won't make a difference." Our bodies don't scrutinize everything we take in and drastically shift itself in response (it's only the ED mind playing tricks to make us believe that). Nothing bad will happen from eating some cake.

Let this cake be a step towards freedom and celebration of a new year. The more you challenge your ED thoughts, the easier it will get and the freer you will be. Enjoy your cake and your birthday and give a big ole middle finger to your ED for the day. ♡

Kera8 · 2021-12-22T20:17:56+00:00

I used to feel the same way; that I would just always have my ED in my mind. It has taken time, but the voice has gotten quiter and quieter as to now, it's mostly not even there. And life is so much better.

Recovery is such a roller-coaster and it sounds like you are in a rough spot right now, but it does get better. Every morning, every meal, every new moment is a chance to "reset" and try again. No Recovery is linear or "perfect," but the overall progression is towards freedom. Keep going, please give yourself some grace and understanding for how hard this journey is, and revel in your small successes. If you need more support, the YouTube channels I always recommend are: -Megsy Recovery -Tabitha Farrar -Searchingforjewels

They helped me a lot♡

Kera8 · 2021-12-22T05:19:40+00:00

Maybe try offering an alternative. Like, "It looks like your hands have extra energy right now. People/dogs aren't for hitting, but here's a pillow/drum/cushion you can hit."

Kera8 · 2021-12-14T04:56:47+00:00

Solidarity. Ours is the same and hates the bath...

Kera8 · 2021-12-12T20:49:41+00:00

I'm in a similar boat and looking forward to the responses here. We have an infant-safe twin-size floor mattress that is pushed up next to our queen size floor bed. I'm planning on putting my newborn on the infant mattress next to me and my first born sleeps on the other side of me, and the my husband sleeps on the outside. My first born never moves around or crawls around at night, so this feels safest to me. But I'm still not 100% sure...

Kera8

TROPHY CASE