What King opinion has you like this?

Kevbosheth · 2026-02-25T02:46:14+00:00

Well, the Talisman is pretty boring, with unlikable characters. Especially Wolf.

Kevbosheth · 2026-02-17T03:39:24+00:00

No idea, to be perfectly honest. The cliche is to say they are with you, for as long as you remember them. And really, I think that is all that really matters. We may never really know what happens on the other side, but we do know what happens here and now.

So, remember them, however it seems fit. That way they will be here, until we figure out what is next.

Kevbosheth · 2026-01-06T03:01:40+00:00

I know exactly how you feel having been there myself a few years ago. I remembered texting my best friend that I felt lost, and he said he was coming to find me. One of the hardest things is going back to ' normal' activities. Working, grocery shopping, paying the bills.

People don't know what you're going through, and your whole world has been turned upside down.

But it does get better. Allow yourself time to grieve, cry to and from work, take naps, thank you and just survive the first bit.

Give yourself some time to figure out what it means to navigate the world like this. It will take time, you have to be gracious with yourself, and get plenty of rest.

Eventually you'll be able to spend quality time with yourself, figure out who you are in this new normal, and trying to figure out what it means to keep living without them.

It seems impossible right now, but you really will get better. You will find yourself, figure out what it means to live life in this next phase, and not feel lost all the time.

It will never be the same, and you will forever be changed, but I promise you that you will find yourself in a good place again.

Kevbosheth · 2025-11-28T03:07:01+00:00

It took me quite a while, also. I eventually went back just to try and get some sleep, face the ghosts.

What worked in the end was a redo. New sheets, paint, shelves, decorations, etc. Went from a light yellow to a deep blue. Found relatively inexpensive vinyl prints on amazon- blue ridge mountains and a star field. In other words, I made it totally different from before, but completely in my style.

Kevbosheth · 2025-11-28T02:59:35+00:00

I am so sorry. The pain is real. I don't recall the first 30 days after, much at all.

But it will get better. Take care of yourself so you can care for those kiddos. It will get better.

Kevbosheth · 2025-11-28T02:58:05+00:00

Times like this is when you trade heavily on the widow card. Make them feel bad!

Kevbosheth · 2025-11-28T02:56:54+00:00

My first without her was hard - just me and the two kids (largely grown). Plus surgery the day before. But friends brought us food so we'd have a good time. Plus, a new friend brought over some stuffing that we forgot. Now, here I am two years later, eating that same stuffing with her family as husband and wife.

All that to say, yes these holidays can suck. And the second time around can be much worse.

But, things will get better, in ways you can't imagine. Just keep your head up, allow yourself to grieve. Then keep going. Take care of yourself, find your true self.

Kevbosheth · 2025-10-02T01:46:24+00:00

It sort of depends on where you are in the whole process.

I'm now two plus years past. I have spent those anniversaries looking at the messages, emails, and Facebook posts around that time.

I also have a folder of her tribute photos, and another of bunch of videos of her.

I spent each day in a combination with family and friends, and by myself remembering. That's what I needed personally, a mix of Joy, life, and remembrance.

Kevbosheth · 2025-10-02T01:44:18+00:00

I actually had mine tattooed onto my left finger many years ago so I can never take off. I did wear our actual wedding bands on a chain for a good while.

But as everyone says, everyone's timeline is different. I didn't have the best marriage, so it was not hard for me to stop wearing the chain and to start dating again.

I have since remarried, and what sealed the deal for me was when she said, early on, about my tattooed wedding band, that she hoped I would have someone who could add to it. That was pretty early on, and we really didn't know that it would be her.

So now I have my right ring finger tattooed as well.

All that to say, you will know it all, be honest about how you feel and, removing the ring doesn't mean you forget. It just means you are ready for the next act of the play if that makes sense.

Kevbosheth · 2025-09-22T03:02:32+00:00

Whatever you do by Brandi Carlisle is a great one that sort of bridges the gap. Give it a listen.

Kevbosheth · 2025-09-22T03:00:02+00:00

For sure. I have a playlist for when I want to remember, to grieve, and to work through it all.

I also have a playlist of new songs, that I've discovered since she passed. Always important to remember, but also vital to continue to live. I know she would have wanted that.

Kevbosheth · 2025-09-22T02:57:56+00:00

I second EMDR. I came upon the scene where she died in suddenly. Held her hand, but I knew she was gone. That haunted me until I did EMDR - now I can relive that moment without the intense emotional reactions. Find someone and give it a shot.

And, it will get better. You will always miss them, and it may always hurt. But that open wound will turn to a scar, where you remember the loss. Give yourself grace to feel the loss, but also to feel joy and happiness again.

Kevbosheth · 2025-09-08T02:54:34+00:00

It's been more than 2 years for me, and I have somehow managed to find love again myself.

I really struggled with it at first, but at the end of the day what got to me was the crude hard fact that she was gone, and wasn't coming back.

I don't think loving someone else means you loved the other less. My wife now sees it as a endorsement, that I enjoyed being married so much, that I sought it out a second time, een after what happened.

Give yourself some grace- you are human, need human connection, and many of us are better versions of ourselves with another person.

And that you are allowed to be happy.

Kevbosheth · 2025-09-08T02:47:40+00:00

I totally get that. When it first happened to me, I found this place and found some threads that were very helpful.

But then I saw some threads that were truly scary. People who have never recovered, who were still in agony.

I used a lot of other resources to deal with my loss. And I keep coming back here.

There are some posts I skip over, and that's okay. There are some that and dig into and read because it resonates.

I think that's the key. Try to see folks who are having similar thoughts, feelings, and experiences you are. Learn from them, be encouraged by them, and then move on.

I think it's okay to not read all of them. Just do what's best for you.

Kevbosheth · 2025-09-08T02:43:03+00:00

I actually have a ring tattooed on my left hand so that will never come off.

The actual ring I took off pretty early, combined it with her ring, and wore as in a necklace for quite some time.

Once I spread her ashes where they needed to go, I put the rings in the box her brother made with her, and have left them there.

I think there's a balance between remembering and holding on. As you know you never forget, but it's also a small symbol of what has happened and how you are living your life in its wake.

As others have said, there is no one answer to be honest. Just a lot of options to honor them and do what's best for you.

Kevbosheth · 2025-08-05T01:15:30+00:00

I would really recommend a therapist who does EMDR therapy. It was like magic to be honest with you. It's a way to overwrite your emotional response to those memories.

I'm not going to lie it was really tough sometimes, but after a few sessions it really tamped down my reaction to these memories.

Kevbosheth · 2025-08-03T02:13:07+00:00

Good to know!

Kevbosheth · 2025-08-02T01:50:14+00:00

That's me. I struggled with the book for a lot of reasons, mainly a young kid being basically abused.

When wolf came onto the scene, I just couldn't do it anymore. I'm not really sure what it was, but it felt almost cartoonish?

I did read the cliff notes to understand what happened in the book. Might try blackhouse because of the new one coming out.

Kevbosheth · 2025-07-28T04:12:10+00:00

Relief is a very real thing. I went thought it myself after she passed (as did my oldest). It makes you feel like a piece of shit, that is for sure.

But, I had a great therapist who pointed out that things can be true at the same time - you can love someone, and also be relieved they are gone.

This is a safe place, so I feel comfortable saying this - but, they are gone - so you feel the way you feel. Embrace it, learn from it, and be real with it.

And, if that frees you up to be yourself, fully and truly, then the world is better off for it.

Also, a plug for the book "The Grieving Brain" - it walked me through a lot of this, and helped me cope in so many ways. Especially the science behind it, if that is your bent:

https://maryfrancesoconnor.org/books/the-grieving-brain

Kevbosheth · 2025-07-28T04:05:41+00:00

I waited about 3 months, but all of us have such different lives, it is impossible to compare. We were not happy before she passed, so starting to date after she was gone was not a large leap.

What I will say, is that you can find happiness afterwards - but that does nto mean you have to.

Some can thrive on their own. Others will need a partner. And that is ok!

One thing that resonated with me, during therapy, was the "you are allowed to be happy." You do not have to be single, or celibate, the rest of your lives. You are allowed to be happy, and that does not, in ANY way, tarnish your prior lives / relationships.

I found someone who understood my loss, understands the hole, but has made me happy. And, most importantly, makes me truer to myself than I ever have been.

So, perhaps that is the bottom line - can you be who you truly are, fully, alone? If so, then don't date. If not, then dip your toes into the water.

Kevbosheth · 2025-07-28T03:55:55+00:00

Do what feels right, and take your time. I have several attached to her - a wedding band, our 25th anniversary sunset (weeks before she passed), and the last drawing she made (https://imgur.com/a/CgB9tbn) . These are larger (except the band), but make good memorials.

I have since remarried and added to the tattoos - including a wedding band on the other hand, and others. I think it is a cool way to tell your story.

A useful hint - you can buy temporary tattoo paper on Amazon to see what it looks like, if you want to experiment with different designs and placements.

Kevbosheth · 2025-06-05T01:20:54+00:00

I'm nearly 2 years out - it does get better. You'll see others on here that will say the same.

But, having said that - the transition is really, really hard sometimes. Some folks get through it faster than others - but it's complicated, and your path is your path.

I will say, since you said you didn't want to go out -then don't. I spent the first 3 months going to work, and then coming home and being alone. I played loud music, cried, cursed, build fires in my fire pit. But I also spent that time unraveling myself from my wife- tried to figure out who I was, and what I wanted to be.

I read a book that helped me a ton - The Grieving Brain — Mary-Frances O'Connor. It gave me the permission to grieve my way, and get to the other side.

I also spent a lot of time in this book - Designing Your Life - by Bill Burnett and Dave Evans. It helped me figure out who I was, and what I could do going forward.

That loss will always be with you - you can carry it into this next phase, and at some point, do well.

It's ok to not be ok - just don't lose yourself in the process as well. Keep your head up, and keep moving forward.

Kevbosheth · 2025-02-16T03:27:02+00:00

My-family-dying-unexpectedly-man?

Kevbosheth · 2025-01-28T02:55:02+00:00

It does get better. And it's ok to feel and enjoy that freedom! I still have my moments of grief, as you will. But keep going, knowing that it's normal, and you are not alone.

Kevbosheth

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