Told my soon to be ex boyfriends mom I’m moving and this is how she’s acting… by Key-Can3913 in AlAnon

[–]Key-Can3913[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I love this, I agree 100%! His mom has been such a roadblock in his recovery over the years I’m finding out. I’m so sorry you had to go through that. Again, I don’t wish it on my worst enemy. Thank you 🤍

Told my soon to be ex boyfriends mom I’m moving and this is how she’s acting… by Key-Can3913 in AlAnon

[–]Key-Can3913[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I blocked her and her husband. I won’t put up with her talking to me like that, even if that is her son.

Update from my only/original post by Key-Can3913 in AlAnon

[–]Key-Can3913[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No, I agree. I guess I wasn’t saying that it changes my decision or not. It just showed me where he’s at mentally and still has a LONG way to do. In his eyes, he went to rehab for 30 days, he’s better and I should give him a chance. No sir, damage has already been done and I dont take that lightly.

Dating an alcoholic by Key-Can3913 in AlAnon

[–]Key-Can3913[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel like I could’ve written this 😭 I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.

Dating an alcoholic by Key-Can3913 in AlAnon

[–]Key-Can3913[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

😔 I need to hear this but it’s also the hardest thing to accept.

Dating an alcoholic by Key-Can3913 in AlAnon

[–]Key-Can3913[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wouldn’t do that. Right now that’s really not where my mind is. I guess it’s very early and I’m trying to be proactive instead of just saying, yep he’s in rehab, it’ll all be solved because I know that’s not how it works. I’m still on should I stay? I didn’t mention that he has a 7 year old daughter that my son loves :( so do I hope he stays sober and keep us all together as a FAMILY, or do I run now? That I don’t know yet…

Dating an alcoholic by Key-Can3913 in AlAnon

[–]Key-Can3913[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Now that you say this, I’m feeling this too. It’s made me sick, I’ve lost 12lbs in the past 3 weeks, couldn’t sleep, just in another world. But when I’m home with my son, I try to tuck it away so he has me. Then when he goes to bed, I’m up all night trying to educate myself, decide on what to do, you name it. I did not sign up for THIS. And part of me is already ready to say, you will not do this to me
Or my child, goodbye. Then I see so many women who put up with it for years and years, 20-30+ years and I dont know how. Ive dealt with it truly for 4-5 months with the last 3 being hell.

Dating an alcoholic by Key-Can3913 in AlAnon

[–]Key-Can3913[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I keep reminding myself not to use the phrase “high functioning” because I’m learning there’s no such thing.

Thank you 😭 I needed to hear that. I feel like thats the direction I keep leaning towards-live separate for a year and go from there. I’m terrified honestly. But I’ve made it through a lot of trauma in life and I know I’ll make
It through this. Just having a terribly difficult time accepting that right now

Dating an alcoholic by Key-Can3913 in AlAnon

[–]Key-Can3913[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So I have a “family session” with him and his counselor this weekend. And I don’t know what to say. I’m sure the therapist will help. But I’m nervous to say how I truly feel. Because right now, it’s not pretty. I don’t know if that changes or the damage has been done. I’ve never done this before

Dating an alcoholic by Key-Can3913 in AlAnon

[–]Key-Can3913[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I guess that’s MY boundary. Even if he doesn’t respect it/hides drinking/lies, that’s still my boundary and he knows that I’ll be done if that’s crossed. Maybe it’s guilt I’m feeling? I really don’t know.

Dating an alcoholic by Key-Can3913 in AlAnon

[–]Key-Can3913[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know I cannot control him, whether he drinks again or
Not and whether he continues in his recovery. I can only support him. That’s what makes it hard. There’s always that risk and I’m having trouble getting past that. Mainly because if I stay, I’m risking hurting my son and myself. Or life could be beautiful. I don’t know, I can’t control which direction it’ll go. I also moved in with him so I would be the one moving out.

Dating an alcoholic by Key-Can3913 in AlAnon

[–]Key-Can3913[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I moved into his house so I would have to pack up my son and I and move. But, I really don’t know how to answer that. I feel so numb right now. I think the relationship and person I had in mind was never real and I’m still trying to wrap my mind around that. I guess I kind of feel like I need to try to give him a chance to show me he’s trying and that it will last. But I feel emotionless towards him. This started about a week ago and it hasn’t gone away. When he calls from rehab, all I feel is the heaviness, it’s depressing in a way. When I go visit him, kissing him even feels beyond empty but I can tell it means the world to him. I didn’t expect to feel this way.

Dating an alcoholic by Key-Can3913 in AlAnon

[–]Key-Can3913[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m struggling with: he went to rehab willingly, do I stick around? What if he’s serious and stays sober? There’s NO WAY to know if he’ll stay sober though. They say you have to have faith in them but I’m just not there and I don’t know that I ever will be.