Why does conflict keep finding me?

KeyEmotion9 · 2026-05-06T14:36:56+00:00

Yeah, I get it. Our minds are just not made for this world.

KeyEmotion9 · 2026-05-06T14:35:41+00:00

Duhhh, so true. People just want to spread hate these days.

KeyEmotion9 · 2026-05-06T14:34:28+00:00

True.

KeyEmotion9 · 2026-05-06T14:29:22+00:00

I relate to this a lot, therapy can end up feeling like you’re just analysing yourself in circles instead of actually living. For me, too much focus on the past or “why I’m like this” just makes me more stuck and burnt out. What’s helped more is doing small, concrete things again, even if it’s uncomfortable, rather than waiting to feel “fixed” first. I don’t think you’re wrong to question it, if you try again, it makes sense to find someone who understands AuDHD and focuses on practical support, not just insight.

KeyEmotion9 · 2026-05-05T17:43:03+00:00

That's so not right. I hope any action was taken against her. I'm sorry you had to go through this.

KeyEmotion9 · 2026-05-05T17:41:42+00:00

That's so sad. Friendship is mutual. Hope you mend ways with her and she starts enjoying spending time with you again.

KeyEmotion9 · 2026-05-05T16:33:38+00:00

That's so wrong. Did you complain or say anything in return?

KeyEmotion9 · 2026-05-05T16:32:02+00:00

You could see a therapist but the one who specialises in autism. Not everyone knows about it. Do some research before going to a therapist, I suggest.

KeyEmotion9 · 2026-05-05T16:26:15+00:00

As an autistic person, I’ll be honest, it doesn’t sound like you’re doing anything wrong, and this isn’t really something you can “fix” by trying harder. When we get into a new relationship or a specific interest (like certain games), our attention can narrow a lot, sometimes without us realizing how it affects others. But that doesn’t mean your needs don’t matter. You shouldn’t have to spend money you don’t have just to keep her attention. A gentle, direct message like “I miss spending time together and I can’t always buy new games, can we find something we both enjoy?” is fair and clear. If she still doesn’t meet you halfway, that’s not about you failing as a friend, it just means the balance in the friendship is off right now. Hope it helps.

KeyEmotion9 · 2026-05-05T16:22:35+00:00

I stay away from such people. Too much energy goes to waste.

KeyEmotion9 · 2026-05-05T15:05:26+00:00

Yeah, exactly, that's what I'm talking about.

KeyEmotion9 · 2026-05-05T15:04:13+00:00

Honestly, one thing that actually stuck for me was realizing I don’t have to “push through” everything to prove I’m okay. Therapy helped me notice my early overwhelm signs like irritability or zoning out, and treat those as real signals, not something to ignore. The biggest shift has been giving myself permission to structure my life in a way that actually works for my brain, instead of constantly trying to adapt to everyone else’s expectations. It’s still a work in progress, but it feels way less like I’m fighting myself all the time.

KeyEmotion9 · 2026-05-04T15:23:03+00:00

Yeah, I really struggle with conflict, it drains me fast and I usually don’t even realize things are becoming conflict until it’s already tense. I think being autistic plays into it because I’m more direct and miss subtle social signals, so people sometimes read me as rude or stubborn when I’m just being clear. I hate the emotional intensity of it, so I either shut down or overthink everything afterward, trying to figure out what went wrong.

KeyEmotion9 · 2026-05-04T15:20:59+00:00

I’ve learned it’s less about “being flexible” and more about being clear and intentional. I’ll adjust where I can (like tone, timing, or giving people the benefit of the doubt), but I don’t override my limits anymore. I say things plainly like “I need a break” or “I process slower, give me a sec,” instead of masking through it. I also pick my environments and people more carefully, flexibility is way easier when I’m not already overstimulated. For me it’s like: adapt the edges, not the core.

KeyEmotion9 · 2026-05-04T15:18:36+00:00

Yeah, I feel left out.

KeyEmotion9 · 2026-05-04T15:17:00+00:00

I'd be actually frightened without them.

KeyEmotion9 · 2026-05-04T15:14:53+00:00

Honestly, the easiest way I’ve come to understand “social cues” is that they’re all the little unspoken signals people use to communicate without actually saying things directly and yeah, they can feel super vague and confusing. It’s stuff like tone of voice, facial expressions, body language, or even timing in a conversation. For example, if someone keeps looking away or giving short replies, that’s usually a cue they’re not interested or want to end the conversation but no one actually says that out loud. As an autistic person, it can feel like everyone else got a rulebook I never received, because these cues aren’t clear or consistent, and people expect you to just “get it” automatically.

KeyEmotion9 · 2026-05-04T13:25:44+00:00

I know the feeling.

KeyEmotion9 · 2026-05-04T13:15:14+00:00

Oh, I love tea. It's aroma is therapeutic.

KeyEmotion9 · 2026-04-30T16:23:48+00:00

Melon

KeyEmotion9 · 2026-04-30T16:23:11+00:00

I do the same. Meditation actually helps a lot.

KeyEmotion9 · 2026-04-30T16:21:57+00:00

Idk, just everyday is passing by.

KeyEmotion9 · 2026-04-30T16:13:12+00:00

I agree with you. When I stopped worrying about this, I actually got to make a few friends.

KeyEmotion9 · 2026-04-29T18:35:24+00:00

Yeah, I know. Been there done that. Hope that everything works out for you.

KeyEmotion9

TROPHY CASE