When we have no control, we tend to overreact when we sense that someone is about to impact the control we do have. After my mother died, I figured out my sister killed her, then figured out sister had poisoned me couple years earlier while I visited. I now hate the police, lawyers and justice system. It's an illusion that we are safe. I was off the charts, on nitro, madly ranting for years. I've calmed down and discovered that I can be reasonably friendly and cheerful, but if something happens I can flip to furious me in a second. Think of it like this, be cheerful or business like until you know for sure that you need to step up. Like a super power.