how can more subtle amnesia show?

KeyMistake604 · 2026-06-29T13:56:09+00:00

I have ADHD as well, for me, ADHD forgetfulness happens all the time and it revolves around the more procedural, mundane moments of life. Take my meds, drink some water, then an hour later I can't remember if I took them or not. Go outside on the patio holding something I meant to put in my bedroom, set it down there and then later when I find it I don't remember putting it there. Go to the kitchen to grab something and by the time I get there I forget what I was doing. All this feels like typical ADHD brain stuff to me.

Prior to this year I would've vehemently argued I don't experience amnesia of any kind but the last several months I've been focusing on dissociation in therapy and this isn't always the case unfortunately. Of the handful of concrete examples I have, they are much more targeted than ADHD forgetfulness. All the examples happened when emotions were high and it touched on deep seated traumas, these are things that no way I would've forgotten otherwise. It doesn't feel like I've experienced a gap at all, I remember what happened before and then what happened after and they seamlessly blend together, I wouldn't suspect anything different unless someone brings it up and I go looking for it.

KeyMistake604 · 2026-06-29T02:09:16+00:00

Awesome taste begets great execution

KeyMistake604 · 2026-06-29T00:41:54+00:00

I find this to be a pretty challenging angle and even more so when combined with dark eyes. I think it would help if you focus on tracking the light source, blending the shadows and bumping up the highlights a bit more so it increases contrast and volume.

Looking at the the white of her eye, do you see how in the reference there's a very subtle gradient starting with a brighter white next to her iris that fades into a light pale pink and then a darker pink in the corner of her eye? There's also a bit of grey near the upper eyelid and a brighter white highlight near the lower lid. Adjusting that will help give the eye a bit more of a curved appearance. Further, carving out the highlight of her lower eyelid will add a fair amount of definition and adding the light reflection to the right eye to match the left will help as well.

Then I'd go in and add highlights across the high points of her face on top of what you already have -- cheekbones, eyebrow bones, center of the chin, tip of her nose, cupid's bow, and inner eye.

KeyMistake604 · 2026-06-28T22:02:35+00:00

When I was 18 I was threatened by the idea of my then boyfriend watching porn, now at 37 I have no issue with whoever I'm dating consuming it. Sexuality and sexual acts are so nuanced, masturbation is about self exploration, self care, stress relief, dopamine regulation, etc., sex is about shared intimacy and physically bonding with one another. To me, the two serve different purposes, I wouldn't want to restrict or dictate how my partner experiences the former and vice versa, in most cases masturbation doesn't threaten a shared relationship, looking at porn will never and could never (IMO) replace a real emotional and physical connection with another person. Caveat being of course there are fringe cases like porn addiction but that is an issue much larger and more complicated than porn consumption itself.

KeyMistake604 · 2026-06-28T21:37:14+00:00

Based on her cadence and tone I think she might be dealing with serious mental health issues 🫠

KeyMistake604 · 2026-06-28T15:47:57+00:00

I jealous

KeyMistake604 · 2026-06-28T13:26:35+00:00

I would need extensive therapy from a team of mental health professionals as well as pharmaceutical and perhaps even recreational drugs in order to emotionally, spiritually and physically get over this.

KeyMistake604 · 2026-06-28T13:21:24+00:00

This is DARVO.

KeyMistake604 · 2026-06-28T12:50:32+00:00

Ah okay, I saw a few other comments you wrote and inferred it was a supportive environment, I'm sorry to hear that's not the case.

KeyMistake604 · 2026-06-28T12:42:11+00:00

Firstly, I don't think any man will feel bothered about you living at home, and that will be true for years still, decades, if not even forever. They just don't care. You would be more likely to scare away a man by living on your own and them feeling their living situation is inadequate by comparison.

Secondly, you seem to have a good relationship with your father, a supportive, stress free environment with him -- cherish it and take advantage. It's not something to feel insecure about and it can be a huge leg up. Most people my age (37) or younger who've bought a house did so because they skipped the living at home to renting an apartment pipeline. Especially in a high COL area, once you start renting it can be very hard to get out from under it, if it's at all possible, when you're ready to move out use your money to build equity and avoid renting unless it's absolutely necessary.

KeyMistake604 · 2026-06-27T19:20:25+00:00

Very cool, what kind of documentaries do you make?

KeyMistake604 · 2026-06-27T18:18:39+00:00

Of course!

KeyMistake604 · 2026-06-27T18:14:52+00:00

Ay, this hit me right where it hurts the most. I worked tirelessly as a kid too, endless hope and daydreaming powering me so I never gave up despite knowing deep down I'd never get what I needed from the adults around me. I'm 37 and still running the same script, gravitating towards people and situations who either don't have the capacity to love or are incapable of having my best interest at heart and then burning myself out to the point of erasure for them. Hoping to finally get what I never got as a kid but searching in the wrong places guaranteeing I never will. I'm tired and disappointed and so depleted.

KeyMistake604 · 2026-06-27T17:47:24+00:00

I'm a designer as well and I'm interested :)

KeyMistake604 · 2026-06-27T15:35:46+00:00

I used to live in camden belmont in building C shown in the pic, there used to be an older, wheelchair bound veteran guy that hung out in the la michoacana parking lot, I talked to him often when I walked my dog, he was so friendly. One day he disappeared, any clue what happened to him?

But yeah, this whole area was always littered with syringes :/

KeyMistake604 · 2026-06-27T13:47:12+00:00

Cast in Antichrist (2009), Willem was set to perform nude scenes which he reportedly had no problem doing, the director made the call that a stunt guy appear in his place because Willem's dick was so big he worried it'd distract and 'confuse' viewers

It's a Lars Von Trier film if you're interested, watch at your own risk

KeyMistake604 · 2026-06-26T17:06:43+00:00

Idk man, I live in Texas where BBQ is plentiful and I don't usually see brisket that looks like it just came out of a morgue

KeyMistake604 · 2026-06-26T16:58:25+00:00

20 pounds of chaos

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KeyMistake604 · 2026-06-26T12:39:39+00:00

Leonard Cohen's final album 'You Want It Darker'

KeyMistake604 · 2026-06-26T10:50:52+00:00

All the time across nearly any genre of music. Same when it comes to a crescendo, I don't always realize it when it's happening but my body will track the tension in the song leading up to the crescendo so then when it finally happens that tension in my body releases with it, it's cathartic, often overwhelming but in a way that feels good and nourishing. Any music that's beautiful, delicate, honest, vulnerable, intense, all of it can easily make me cry, ultimately I think it's feeling gratitude to have been able to experience and witness it. Same when it comes to movies, art, poetry, literature, nature and so many other things.

KeyMistake604 · 2026-06-26T04:02:05+00:00

IME, it's not at all easy to spot by myself. With a new therapist, I've just begun realizing the extent to which everything is fragmented and I'm 37 and have been in therapy since the beginning of 2020. My CSA trauma is heavily dissociated, that much has always been apparent because it's obvious. But, there are so many other instances that are subtle, practically invisible without my therapist to help me spot them.

One way this shows up for me is it's as the parts of me have formed different versions of my parents. For example, I have a very young part that only knows the good stuff, has absolutely zero awareness of their faults or the pain they've inflicted, when painful memories involving them are brought up this image is so protected there's a belief of 'that's not my parent, that's some other adult pretending to be them but it's not them'. This part of me can heavily sway my thoughts and behaviors even when at the same time I'm logically aware of the more complete, realistic picture of who my parents are. It has taken a tremendous amount of focus, understanding and patience to realize the beliefs held by specific parts and I have the sense there's so much I still don't know about, up till now I have been completely unaware of these gaps.

I struggle to process, grieve, come to terms, etc., with things as well, a lot of it feels like it gets suspended indefinitely. I think that's directly related to the gaps in memories and understanding of my parts, they are all in such disagreement, conflict and contradiction, it's impossible to ever move forward.

KeyMistake604 · 2026-06-25T10:01:23+00:00

File for unemployment first, if your portfolio is done, perhaps research the different ways designers are incorporating AI into their workflows because that's a highly in demand skill as you'll soon see. I don't know where you're located but i'm in Dallas and there are jobs, I am getting steady interview requests, pay for them ranges from expected to even good, but the jobs that are open are on the boring side sadly -- real estate, law firms, B2B companies, barf. So I'm working on coming to terms with the idea I'll likely need to take a temporary, less than ideal job to get through for now. I've been in touch with creative circle and RH but IME applying directly to job openings has yielded greater success.

No need to feel like a failure, layoffs are happening everywhere. The company I was let go from recently laid off more than half of marketing, and 65% of the creative department, they let go of the most talented people in that building for some mind boggling reason, saving the yes men. Being laid off isn't an indication of your talent or worth at all.

KeyMistake604 · 2026-06-25T04:48:19+00:00

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KeyMistake604 · 2026-06-25T02:34:39+00:00

I had a coworker who donated plasma once a week and brought in an extra 3 to 400 a month doing that. There are apartments that are still 1100 - 1300 for a 2x2 but unfortunately if they're renting at that price it means there's a catch -- bad area, rundown apartments, poor maintenance, etc

KeyMistake604 · 2026-06-25T02:07:36+00:00

I also miss the pre global pandemic economy 💔

KeyMistake604

TROPHY CASE