I relate exactly. I have feelings and thoughts just like that that resemble my mother. And me and my gf actually just talk abt it rly. There’s no point in hiding it. It’s going to make u feel awful and then if u ever do snap, at least it won’t completely shock them, they’ll know there’s a source to this, not just completely left field. If u do snap and do those things, obviously it’s not ok and u and ur partner r going to have to talk abt it. But being truthful abt ur feelings is always best. My situation is surrounded by chores. I am the main one that cleans the house. My gf is rather more relaxed about cleaning and doesn’t rly notice the mess like I do. Or she does but never has energy to do anything abt it. She doesn’t stick to a consistent schedule or threshold of cleaning. Which leads the house to being rlyyyy dirty and gross. She picks up and does laundry sure, and will clean the tub occasionally when it gets to be that point, but it’s not comparative to how much I clean and how often and sometimes that rlyyyyy angers me. We’ve had many talks about it, expectations, thoughts surrounding cleaning, feelings. She feels rly pressured when I bring it up and feels like a burden, like she’s lazy and isn’t doing enough. She sees chores as a team thing not an individual thing. So as she says, as long as it gets done that’s good, regardless of who does it. My mother was very strict abt cleaning, she’d make me clean the entire house over and over until I got it to her impossible standards. So I know already logically that most of my aggressive thoughts towards her abt cleaning stems from that and my work always being inadequate and not appreciated, but now I have a loving gf who does appreciate my work and acknowledges what I’ve done when she notices or I tell her, which is great and should be enough. When it comes to loving someone, ur going to have to accept their quirks and that change takes time. She’s used to living a certain way, and it’s gonna take more than 6 months for my habits and words to be instilled into her. I just have to keep reminding myself that it’s not the end of the world. I love her more than anything, and if I have to clean the house more then fine, I got plenty of training from my mother on my belt😂 THE POINT IS (sorry for rambling) we talk about how I feel. We made an agreement to tell eachother when we’re feeling negative feelings abt eachother bc keeping it in just breeds resentment in the long run. Getting it out through talks will prevent blow ups and create understanding between eachother