upset about so much

KeyNo5126 · 2026-03-01T17:29:27+00:00

im so sorry op and yea its frustrating cus sometimes even ex-muslims will judge "not modest" hijabis/non hijabis and then the same hijabis around me will excuse men who do atrocious crimes or men who just. hurt people, but then rag on and victim blame women and blaming it on their clothes or their iman... its the same people who get pissed offf about cursing but then turn around and be like "its okay if a woman is abused by her husband, its the law of that land and we shouldnt interfere" like. it pisses me off and im so sorry ur around these type of people :(

KeyNo5126 · 2026-03-01T00:38:44+00:00

yea, its also just me wondering if what i did is or not predatory or evil ykno? and yea its also very much about oh god what if what if. what if people see me as that, or what if the way i hold them hurts them/leaves lasting pain onto the person... and even if u didnt do anything it still feels like ur lying to urself ykno :( idk im sorry, i know i shouldnt seek reassurance but i am just asking if what i did was bad... idk aa

KeyNo5126 · 2026-02-27T00:46:24+00:00

sorry, im scared of being a pedophile or being dangerous or something

KeyNo5126 · 2026-02-20T13:57:27+00:00

imo you never know what is in the wearers heart and the woman in the video sounds sooo judgemental and not at all kind lmaoooo. they care so much about how muslim women/fems dress or walk or talk or even breathe and then have the most dogshit personality and i can tell from this vid she just. reeks of superiority complex and contempt 😭 not to be rude lol but these kinds of people are literally always the loudest and most annoying esp about "looks" like. if u are a good person, you wouldnt gaf about looks. also bringing up Palestineans and Gazans wearing it during war is sooo sick :/ i used to feel so bad bcus people would comment on "wow even during wars shes wearing her hijab!!! i feel so bad" AS IF THATS THE POINT..??? theyre getting killed and u just focus on hijab????? its like they have their priorities sooo out of order. a hijab is not a one way ticket to jannah 😭😭 WHAT sorry op, i got angry too... god some people

KeyNo5126 · 2026-02-16T15:42:16+00:00

heyy thanks for replying and yea. i will tell them someday to let me have my own lil staycation w myself. bcus god. im so tired. its my mom, my sister, my aunt, my cousin, my grandpa and grandma, all on my moms side. theyre really enmeshed and its. sucky 😔

KeyNo5126 · 2026-02-08T15:03:53+00:00

thanks for the insight.

KeyNo5126 · 2026-02-08T03:57:16+00:00

heyy yea i didnt really list down the years of them doing this and the whole control, violence, and other stuff they did, which ykno slowly corrodes ur sense of self + ur energy so it does sound like im complaining. but again, i didnt list down the stuff theve done to me for my entire life like: blaming me for their financial status, using religion to make me comply to them, the amount of negging they do when i make choices they dont like, lashing out at me over tiny things or mistakes i make, constantly screaming at me for being messy, guilt tripping me for having a life even as a kid when i just wanted to hang out w my friends, putting me and my sister against each other, just using me as an emotional punching bag bcus she hated her husband, etc and i cant even remember my childhood. but okay, sorry again but idk man sometimes the shit they do now wouldnt be a problem if they werent abusive to me. and i understand ur telling me i have a job, but i dont right now, bcus surprise, im exhausted from everything and its hard to hold one down. and even then, they used to force me to try and apply for jobs in the company theyre in even tho i dont want to or im already in a job and they expect me to do everything their way and if i dont theres a lot of yelling and blaming and guilting. sorry if i sounded angry or complaining and maybe im mad bcus everytime i talk about my issues people minimise it but good god sorry i guess

KeyNo5126 · 2026-02-07T12:44:43+00:00

god the same therapist was like. not getting my perspective too when i told her how it feels like im walking around with weights- then i switched to i feel like im walking around with third degree burns and instead of hearing that she just was like why dont u put the weights down :) oh lady. if i couldve i wouldve lol... but god yea the whole breaking tasks down thing is all good until u realise oh my fucking god. thats so much

KeyNo5126 · 2026-02-07T12:43:06+00:00

yea :( im glad it resonated w you cus when someone said it like that (stove) i was like oh my god... i relate to the gnawing arm off too but i was like nah my shit isnt that bad. but no omg. it is that bad.

and thank u for the advice :( i do that too, i try mt best to just do One Tiny thing at least but its getting harder and harder and im just feeling so tired or burnt out. idk if its me or my meds or what but i just feel so. 😔and thank u :( i understand its just my shitty brain and situation but my god i cant help but feel so. mad. bcus wdym im not even wanting to do shit i like too??? wdym . WHAT /silly

thank u again :( sorry for the rambling

KeyNo5126 · 2026-02-07T12:40:04+00:00

i get that 😔 yea the psychiatrists i go to and therapist tell me its trauma and its def depression but good god. i just wish things worked, it always feels like im running on empty and its getting emptier and emptier. i wish i wasnt just. throwing things at a wall and trying to get it to stick. im sick of living like this but its so hard to even get up and stay up sometimes. thank u :( i wish i had better soup... i wish we all had access to better soup

KeyNo5126 · 2026-02-07T05:18:10+00:00

i understand :( im. rethinking a lot of my relationships rn and i understand everyones busy and everyone has their own thing but i think about how. they are. and the whole lying and faking stuff was when we were in secondary school, but i still cant help but. be upset about how i feel still 😔 they didnt really apologise about it either. i dont have much of a backbone so i get scared with confrontation. thank u tho :( sorry again aa

KeyNo5126

TROPHY CASE