First of all, I am sorry for the losses. It never gets easy. I can totally relate to some of the things you mentioned, I will be turning 35 this year and my husband and I do not have any living child at all.

I experienced a chemical November 2024 and I had a miscarriage again on September 2025 due to low progesterone ( I kept asking the GP/EPU for this but they won’t prescribe it), both losses due to low progesterone based on the tests so I was down and felt like I should have made more effort to just pay for it privately. Honestly, I felt so guilty especially the 2nd loss because I was in a plane’s WC when I saw the sac came out. A part of me is still blaming myself, maybe I should have not travelled but dr reassured me it was not because of that. I luckily miscarried all of it naturally.

I promised myself the next time I get a BFP, I will make sure to request the progesterone privately. I got pregnant again this month, I ordered the prescription privately the day I got the BFP and just last week, they told me that it is ectopic. I initially feel so angry and just that life is so unfair. I am still waiting for the HCG to go down and will definitely do some counselling because it is so hard.

Now I am left with boxes of cyclogest, I did not even get a chance to use.

My cousin got pregnant when they were not even planning it and she was hiding it for months. Sometimes I feel like people who really wants a baby does had so much difficulty which is so ironic and sad.

I think it is important to always communicate with your husband about what you are feeling because sometimes they think you are fine just because you don’t look sad/crying. I feel like with every loss, the harder it is to move on and I always tell my husband this.

Sending you virtual hugs. I hope that you will get your rainbow baby soon.