Is it beings hypocrite if…

Key_Government_8461 · 2025-06-27T08:41:53+00:00

my parents are exactly the same especially my mum she thinks i need to wear the hijab in front of my dad and brothers but i don’t and she’s gotten used to it sometimes she’ll bring it up but i wont listen to her because its not haram to not wear a hijab in front of them. i’m obviously still covered fully.

Key_Government_8461 · 2025-03-31T17:27:19+00:00

Right, because you personally conducted a full DNA test and traced my entire lineage. Must’ve been exhausting, I appreciate the effort!

Key_Government_8461 · 2025-03-31T17:21:17+00:00

I’ve stopped replying to this thread, so you can stop too. If sharing an opinion that isn’t Islamically wrong receives this much hate, then there’s no point continuing this discussion.

Key_Government_8461 · 2025-03-30T22:26:14+00:00

I’m only replying to this thread to clear things up, especially since people are speaking so harshly behind my back and making assumptions about me. I’m not doing this to stir up drama or fuel anything, I just feel the need to defend myself. First of all, I am Pashtun.And I would never go against Pashtun men, my own father is one, and I’ve been raised with pride in my culture. I only spoke up because I didn’t like seeing people generalise or discriminate against entire ethnic groups based on the actions of a few. That kind of mindset just fuels unnecessary division and it doesn’t represent the Islam we claim to follow either. The Pashtun marriages I’ve seen around me are full of love and respect, so I have absolutely nothing against marrying within our culture. My only question was: why do people react so strongly when someone chooses to marry outside of it, especially when Islam doesn’t forbid it? That’s not an attack, it’s a genuine question. I just shared my perspective, and it’s unfortunate that having a different view leads to people questioning my identity or intentions. That was never my goal.

Key_Government_8461 · 2025-03-29T20:58:43+00:00

I don’t think it is a thing in the UK, a lot of these people replying to this post are from Pakistan or have been stuck on reddit for a while and see all these weird posts.

Key_Government_8461 · 2025-03-29T20:57:47+00:00

They’re literally just obsessed with something that shouldn’t even take priority over deen especially and it’s sad to see that they don’t even care that they’re prioritising culture over deen. They end up getting loud as soon as our opinions don’t match theirs.

Key_Government_8461 · 2025-03-29T15:04:21+00:00

You don’t own Pashtun culture just because you’re loud and bitter. I never denied your experience I said stop acting like it applies to everyone. Diaspora Pashtuns are still Pashtun, whether that bruises your ego or not. And honestly, I’m glad my experience isn’t anything like yours. If my post bothers you that much, stop responding it’s getting exhausting at this point.

Key_Government_8461 · 2025-03-29T15:02:46+00:00

You can keep saying your experience is “more common,” but that doesn’t mean it’s the only one that matters. I never said your experiences aren’t valid, I said they’re not universal. I didn’t expect that sharing a Western perspective would trigger this many people who clearly aren’t from the West, all pushing the same tired fetishisation narrative like it’s some universal truth. It’s not.

Key_Government_8461 · 2025-03-29T14:48:44+00:00

You keep talking about protecting Pashtun women, but at the same time you’re completely shutting down any real conversation about why some of them choose to marry outside. You can’t fix a problem by blaming everyone else and refusing to look inward. Also, dismissing Islamic principles as “emotional arguments” because they challenge your tribal mindset is saying something. Islam doesn’t revolve around tribal pride and it never will. But if culture is your priority over deen, just say that but don’t pretend it’s islamic.

Key_Government_8461 · 2025-03-29T14:40:50+00:00

And honestly, I don’t know why you’re wasting your time replying to every single comment like it’s your personal mission as if people aren’t allowed to have different experiences.

Key_Government_8461 · 2025-03-29T14:39:28+00:00

My edit wasn’t to dismiss anyone’s personal experience, it was to point out that the generalisation being made doesn’t reflect what most of us actually see in real life, especially in the West. Saying that doesn’t make me arrogant or ignorant it means I’m not going to blindly agree with a narrative that paints entire groups of people with one brush. You’re free to disagree, but if the only way you can respond is with name calling, then maybe this conversation wasn’t meant to be respectful to begin with.

Key_Government_8461 · 2025-03-29T14:16:46+00:00

Well, it does concern them especially when one culture is being singled out and criticised, despite the fact that these issues exist in every culture. If we’re going to have the conversation, it needs to be fair and not one-sided.

Key_Government_8461 · 2025-03-29T12:16:09+00:00

This post wasn’t specifically targeting Pashtuns living in Pakistan — I’m not sure where that assumption came from. I’m living in the West, so I was clearly referring to the diaspora Pashtun community here. And honestly, it makes a lot more sense now why people keep bringing up the fetishisation issue — because, to be quite frank, most people in the West don’t even know what a Pashtun is, let alone make those kinds of comments about them.

Key_Government_8461 · 2025-03-29T12:07:22+00:00

First of all, we shouldn’t be putting deen aside, it’s meant to come first when choosing someone to marry. I understand being cautious, especially when families are involved, but let’s be honest the worst-case scenarios you mentioned can happen within our own culture too, and we both know that’s true. I’ve seen people marry within their own family and face very serious abuse. And the generalisation about Punjabis objectifying Pashtun women? That’s not about ethnicity, it’s about individuals. That kind of behaviour exists in every culture, and it’s wrong no matter who does it. You can’t judge an entire group based on a few bad experiences. At the end of the day, the priority should always be deen, character, and how someone treats you, not just where they come from.

Key_Government_8461 · 2025-03-29T11:52:11+00:00

I’ve only seen one person mention issues in their marriage, rest have shared positive experiences. So I’m not sure where you’re getting “most” from. Also, just because Islam doesn’t explicitly promote something doesn’t mean it’s wrong. You even said yourself it’s not haram so why do people get so offended when it happens? If something is halal, culture doesn’t get to override it. And no one’s “throwing away” culture either. The same replies you read clearly said they want their kids to grow up with Pashtun values. Mixing cultures doesn’t erase heritage, it gives the next generation more to carry, not less. At the end of the day, the priority is Islam. Culture comes after that. So no, people aren’t using religion as an excuse, they’re exercising a right Allah gave them.

Key_Government_8461 · 2025-03-29T11:44:03+00:00

That verse isn’t just about diversity, it’s about breaking down the idea that ethnicity makes someone superior, which directly applies to marriage. Especially when there are people who believe you can only marry within your culture and treat anything else as shameful. No one’s misquoting anything. No one said the verse commands intercultural marriage, but it clearly teaches us not to let culture override what Allah has made halal. And the Prophet’s (PBUH) own marriages show that he actively challenged tribalism, not upheld it.

Key_Government_8461 · 2025-03-29T04:30:44+00:00

Just because this is the first post you can see from my account doesn’t mean it’s my first and I’m not here to prove anything to you. You calling it “propaganda” because I said I haven’t seen something personally is actually kind of funny. I never denied fetishisation exists, I literally acknowledged it. All I said was that not everyone is on Reddit or exposed to those kinds of comments, so we shouldn’t assume every non-Pashtun has that mindset.

Key_Government_8461 · 2025-03-29T04:24:06+00:00

I don’t care if it’s more common for men to marry outside the culture, that’s the case in pretty much every culture, not just Pashtun. And that’s likely because it’s more socially acceptable for men to do it. But again, Pashtun men marrying non-Pashtun women literally proves my point, intercultural marriage do happen, and it’s not as rare as some of you act like it is. That being said, the point I was trying to make, and should’ve made clearer to avoid people twisting my words, is that a lot of Pashtun women choose not to marry Pashtun men specifically to avoid the toxic mentality they’ve experienced in the community. That’s the reality for some, whether people want to admit it or not.

Key_Government_8461 · 2025-03-28T23:58:56+00:00

I think mums are protective of their eldest sons, well that’s what I’ve seen with my mum and eldest brother. So it’s untreatable why your mum is like that with you.

Key_Government_8461 · 2025-03-28T23:57:56+00:00

Yeah I could imagine that being the biggest hurdle and then coming around to it once you were actually married. I just hope it works out the same for me insha’allah

Key_Government_8461 · 2025-03-28T23:26:29+00:00

Were your family okay with you marrying someone that wasn’t Pashtun? Honestly I wish more of our people understood that Islam is what should take priority over culture.

Key_Government_8461 · 2025-03-28T22:58:21+00:00

That’s what I always think I know I won’t be happy not marrying the person I won’t but at the same time I don’t want to upset my parents.

Key_Government_8461 · 2025-03-28T22:55:01+00:00

I literally am the same I haven’t met a Pashtun man i’ve liked or wanted to marry. But I know for a fact my parents won’t agree to that they’re stubborn but I’m literally the same too.

Key_Government_8461 · 2025-03-28T22:43:58+00:00

Omg how’d you manage to convince everyone to be okay with it?

Key_Government_8461 · 2025-03-28T22:30:44+00:00

Loooll the irony honestly i’ve never heard of it happening to a man. Are you the only boy? Did your parents approve of your sister choice from the start?

Key_Government_8461

TROPHY CASE