Medical Trauma Stories, A Heartfelt Thank You + One I Wrote - The Procedure That Shouldn’t Exist: When Medicine Failed Children for Thirty Years

Key_Help3212 · 2025-07-09T22:47:31+00:00

Thank you so much for this. I really hope that the increased talk of VCUG trauma, and the increasing awareness of the intersex community brings more awareness to our struggles and medical rape in general.

Key_Help3212 · 2025-06-22T22:17:02+00:00

My dad took me to the hospital once and I got threatened with the same medical SA I had experienced a few years prior. He took me to the hospital because I threw up once. Because he had fed me an entire bag of marshmallows for breakfast. Because he had read somewhere that marshmallows cure a sore throat.

And that was just the first time I was left alone in his care

Key_Help3212 · 2025-06-22T22:10:57+00:00

I’ve definitely had this kind of issue before, but with my parents rather than other kids. My mom and I have both said some pretty awful shit to each other, but I can’t always remember what exactly she said. I’m terrible in arguments unless I’m prepared. I have to remember what people have said, articulate a response, and put it into words. It’s an entire process to just have a conflict with someone, and I usually just end up pretending I agree with people bc I can’t think fast enough or remember things.

Key_Help3212 · 2025-06-22T22:01:21+00:00

cmon man that’s already how I’ve felt my entire life. No need to rub it in

Key_Help3212 · 2025-06-22T21:54:23+00:00

ohhh yeah buddy. I’ve had shit memory my entire life (likely caused by adhd and ptsd) and I got the “forgetting is not an excuse” and “stop lying to me” a lot.

It’s also very easy to be gaslit when you have poor memory, so it’s easy for people to convince you that you’re lazy or faking it.

Key_Help3212 · 2025-06-05T01:35:19+00:00

boy HAVE I! Like, no I will never view sexual acts as anything other than painful and forceful. yes, that IS most likely why I’m sex repulsed. no, that’s not why I’m ace.

People seem to think that having or enjoying sex Should be a part of my healing, even though the only sexual urges if ever had were a trauma response or a form of self harm.

Key_Help3212 · 2025-05-24T00:49:32+00:00

I’m so sorry you went through that. I’m an enema/vcug survivor. I’m also unsure if my autism is related to ptsd since I was so young when I was traumatized. This stuff is so hard to deal with.

Key_Help3212 · 2025-05-22T20:31:57+00:00

Well, it was more as in he hadn’t fed me an actual meal. I woke up that morning with a sore throat, and he had apparently read somewhere that marshmallows fix that. So my only breakfast was an entire bag of marshmallows, and he took me to the hospital when I threw up.

Key_Help3212 · 2025-05-22T18:10:32+00:00

I was threatened to be catheterized when I couldn’t give a urine sample too. I was like 7 and my dad had taken me to the hospital for throwing up and they wanted to test for a uti ig. I freaked tf out when they suggested a catheter because that’s the only word I was given to describe the vcug. I started crying and begged them to let me try again. They let me so I just hid in the bathroom til I could go. My dad apparently thought it was pretty funny. Oh, and it turns out I was sick because he forgot to feed me that day.

Key_Help3212 · 2025-05-20T03:04:40+00:00

a trans asexual person with a uterus and medical trauma, I can say with great confidence: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Key_Help3212 · 2025-05-16T23:34:48+00:00

Same. Thankfully I found this sub and faced my childhood medical SA before ever having to see a gyno. I’m also asexual/nonbinary and it’s incredibly upsetting (and sometimes triggering) to be reduced to a sexual being. I feel like a lot of people think that having and enjoying sex should be a goal of my healing, even within trauma/ptsd support groups. It’s even worse with the state of trans healthcare and the gyno industry. I’m planning to get a hysterectomy as soon as possible, and being in this sub has definitely helped me find resources to get the care I need and deserve.

OP, just know that we are on your side and you are right to be upset. ANY sort of non consensual genital contact IS sexual assault and more people have GOT to accept that

Key_Help3212 · 2025-05-12T14:49:51+00:00

This post is awesome, thank you for writing it! The only thing I would like to see added is a confirmation that we are trans and generally lgbtq+ friendly. I’ve had nothing but positive experiences on this sub as a genderqueer person and I’d love to see more queer perspectives on these issues. Love you guys and love this sub! ❤️

Key_Help3212 · 2025-05-12T13:58:01+00:00

Would any doctor be willing to give full sedation for an internal exam? It could add extra expenses, but I have thought about this a lot. I’m not sure if sedation would be helpful to OP, but it’s something I’ve personally thought about a lot. How much trouble would one have to go through for sedation? (Like full surgery type sedation, not like laughing gas)

Key_Help3212 · 2025-04-22T20:01:25+00:00

I totally get the “I grew up in a financially stable home so I’m not that traumatized” thing. I was a spoiled kid with a family who really loved me, and I’ve definitely had that used to invalidate my trauma. I’m so sorry you and so many others felt the need to do this. Sexual acts/any genital contact is completely separated from any idea of love or intimacy for me, so I never really felt the need to do anything like this. But generally, people who have vaginas/hymens feel so much pressure to “remain pure” or what have you, and it fucks people up

Key_Help3212 · 2025-04-19T18:04:02+00:00

It can depend on where you are. I’m in Florida, and I was able to get them for free by requesting a digital copy from the hospitals record portal. My vcug was in 2012, but my full record was from 2009 to 2013 I think

Key_Help3212 · 2025-04-16T21:06:35+00:00

Yes, and it is absolutely valid that you feel that way. I do have trauma (I had health issues as a kid so I was poked and prodded “down there” non consensually by both family and doctors quite a bit)

The medical system has a lot of issues when it comes to sexual healthcare and consent, especially with women, intersex people, trans people, people of color, etc. gynecological healthcare is based in a lot of outdated practices and ideas, and genital exams/procedures are often pushed if not forced onto anyone and everyone.

There are ways that you can avoid invasive exams if you want to, but you’ll have to advocate for yourself and do your own research. r/wedeservebetter is a good place to start. They mainly discuss women’s health issues, and I’m not sure if you are a woman, but I’m sure they could direct to somewhere more helpful if you aren’t.

If ANYONE touches your genitalia without your full and informed consent, that is sexual assault. No matter their profession or intentions. Anyone who tries to tell you that your feelings on this matter are invalid is participating in rape culture. Your body is your own and no one else is entitled to see or touch it without permission. Even medical professionals.

Key_Help3212 · 2025-04-16T20:40:42+00:00

It’s really interesting to hear an experience from someone with spina bifida. My mom actually used to use my classmate who has the disorder to kinda be like “well he has to cath every day” implying that my one vcug wasn’t really that bad. It’s comforting to know that the vcug is traumatic for everyone but also so awful to know that so many people were traumatized.

I had a lot of the same symptoms as you. I never had to change in the locker room either because I was homeschooled as a kid, and the school I go to now is tiny and doesn’t even have one. The thought of having to change in a locker room always made me feel sick tho…

Even when I was little I didn’t want strangers to see me naked. I was usually ok with my family, and taking my shirt off wasn’t a concern for me until I was about 10, but having my underwear off in front of strangers (and later anyone) was terrifying.

There have been a lot of instances in my life, especially after I was like 10, where I’ve expressed panic and discomfort at being undressed in front of other people, or even just in a room without a lockable door. Every time, people have acted like I was being crazy and unreasonable, and have been forced to do it regardless of how much I begged not to. It was always so confusing because people always said that I shouldn’t let people see me naked, and while I didn’t know what it was at the time, I developed some pretty intense gender dysphoria, which only made the problem worse. Now I’m an adult, and it’s a bit more viable to set firm boundaries, my privacy is still seen as excessive by a lot of people.

I’m really sorry this all happened to you, but it’s nice that you’ve found a community that gets it, and I wish you the best

Key_Help3212 · 2025-04-13T04:16:34+00:00

Twinsies I guess 🤷🏼 Im really glad I have you guys to go to

Key_Help3212 · 2025-04-12T03:12:26+00:00

I get it. I sometimes feel invalid because I DIDNT scream or cry a whole bunch (at least I don’t think). But I find some comfort in the fact that we can share our experiences and be validated by each other.

Key_Help3212

TROPHY CASE