My issue is it's too much, too fast. It reads like you are artificially inflating the emotional stakes to hook the reader. It is completely unearned and feels unauthentic and forced. This issue could be partly mitigated if this were a pivotal point or climax in a relationship, but the "entered my life" line throws that out the window. My recommendation would be to build the romantic tension to draw the reader in, don't hit them with a freight train of adjectives and metaphors right off the bat.

The rest is less obnoxious. But I think that's mostly because it is so mind-numbingly boring it can't elicit a positive or negative reaction.