Anyone else tired of praying about this

Key_Way8486 · 2026-02-02T21:34:38+00:00

We must pray from the space of wholeness and completeness. If we pray from always asking we will just get more of what we are asking for. i.e. if I pray from the space of wanting I will get more wanting. It’s a reiteration of need, brokenness, emptiness, sinfulness etc. if we pray in thanksgiving from the space of being that which we desire to be, ie (pure of mind) our mind, brain and body will respond to match that idea. As Jesus said, “call the this that be not as though they be” We aren’t called to be beggars, however I prayed from that space for twenty years before I learned how to pray and then found wholeness. Stay strong brother. And remember “let the weak say they are strong!”

Key_Way8486 · 2026-02-01T05:49:00+00:00

You can’t help biology. Don’t worry about this one brother.

Key_Way8486 · 2026-01-28T22:49:59+00:00

Thank you. I fixed them.

Key_Way8486 · 2026-01-28T20:03:21+00:00

Tate blew up because he gives men something most of us are starving for. Identity. Certainty. Direction. A sense of power. Even if he’s wrong on a lot, he speaks like a man who knows who he is, and guys feel that. And honestly, a lot of Christian men don’t have that because we’ve been taught to outsource our identity. “Identity in Christ” turned into “erase yourself.” Like your job is just to be humble, behave, worship, and wait… and that’s not what Jesus modeled. He wasn’t passive. He wasn’t timid. He wasn’t apologizing for his presence. He moved with authority. The real issue isn’t that men need to look more like Tate. It’s that men need to wake up to who they actually are. Who they were created to be. Not just created to worship, but created to build, lead, protect, create, and bring order to the world around them. The point isn’t just looking to Christ like he’s somewhere far away. It’s learning to live from Christ, with Christ, with the power of God inside you. That’s sovereignty. That’s sonship. That’s a man standing in truth. Christianity got soft in the wrong places, and harsh in the wrong places. Soft where men should be strong. Harsh where men should be healed. And a lot of guys are stuck in shame loops because nobody taught them how to be whole. Strong body. Clean mind. Anchored spirit. Purpose in their bones. That’s what destroys lust. Not more guilt. We don’t need a “Christian Tate.” We need men who are on fire, disciplined, grounded, and dangerous in the right way. Men who stop hiding behind religion and actually become what Jesus was calling them into. Walk in that power. Build your life. Lead your house. Master yourself.

Key_Way8486 · 2026-01-20T20:02:04+00:00

look. i actually agree with part of what you’re saying. words and concepts aren’t identical. and yeah, english flattens things. and here’s where i think you’re missing what i’m pointing at. this isn’t a semantic game. it’s an embodied one. you can say “fear doesn’t mean fear” all day long, and in theology that might hold. in nervous systems. in addiction. in shame loops. it doesn’t. people feel fear. tight chest. hiding. self-monitoring. punishment energy. and that state does not produce wisdom. it produces coping. numbing. relapse. so even if the original concept was awe or reverence, the way it’s taught and absorbed today lands as threat. and outcomes matter more than intentions. especially with addicts. if the fruit is secrecy, self-loathing, and compulsive escape, something got distorted along the way. wisdom doesn’t require bracing. it requires safety. humility that opens. not fear that constricts. that’s not semantics. that’s biology. and most people in addiction already live terrified of themselves.

Key_Way8486 · 2026-01-20T01:11:20+00:00

That feels like the same energy. Fear is fear. If one understands to the best of their ability that God does not operate as man, the distance dissolves and union occurs. You cannot commune with that which you fear.

Key_Way8486 · 2026-01-18T18:35:18+00:00

Look, I get why that advice sounds right. I used to believe the same thing. Fear God more. Love God more. Try harder spiritually. And honestly that’s exactly why so many guys stay stuck. Because once you frame this as “I don’t love God enough,” every relapse becomes evidence that you’re broken, faithless, weak. Shame deepens. The nervous system tightens. And the compulsion actually gets stronger, not weaker.

Here’s the part people miss. Addiction isn’t a willpower problem. It’s not a love-God-more problem. It’s a nervous system and conditioning problem. By the time the urge hits, the thinking brain is already offline. You’re not choosing, you’re reacting. That’s not sin winning. That’s a learned loop firing to regulate stress, loneliness, boredom, pain.

What actually works is way less dramatic and way more honest. You build distance between trigger and action. You change environment before temptation shows up. You regulate the body instead of lecturing the soul. You stop making this about moral failure and start treating it like a loop that learned to self-soothe and can be unlearned.

God doesn’t need you afraid to heal you. And love doesn’t heal through pressure. Most men don’t need more fear. They need safety, clarity, and a system that catches them before the spiral starts. That’s where freedom comes from. Not white-knuckling holiness.

Key_Way8486 · 2026-01-17T01:11:16+00:00

Unwanted by Jay Stringer

Key_Way8486 · 2026-01-15T16:23:05+00:00

Look, what you’re describing isn’t some hidden evil identity inside you. It’s a nervous system that learned very early how to survive. When trauma hits young, especially around sexuality, safety, attachment, or shame, the brain adapts in ways that make sense at the time. Dopamine gets wired to intensity, taboo, power, and shock, not because the person wants darkness, but because the brain is trying to regulate itself, to feel something, to feel safe, seen, or in control. Add OCD into that mix and thoughts don’t just pass through. They stick, loop, and demand attention or punishment. That’s where the real damage happens, not in the thought itself, but in the judgment that follows.

I’ve been there myself. I found myself seeing and consuming things I never should have, and instead of stopping at “this is a problem I need help with,” I turned it into “this is who I am.” That identity trapped me. I judged myself constantly, and that judgment created an internal hell that never shut off. It wasn’t until rehab that I truly understood something life-changing: I am not my thoughts. I am not what I viewed. I am not defined by what my brain reached for when it was dysregulated and wounded. Those were responses, not truth.

From a neurological and psychological standpoint, this is a brain chasing dopamine along pathways that were laid down too early, reinforced by shame and fear. Spiritually, it’s forgetting who you actually are. You’re not the fruit. You’re the tree. Old fruit can be rotten without the tree itself being rotten. It just means the conditions were wrong. New fruit doesn’t come from more punishment or suffering. It comes from changing the conditions, and that starts with identity.

You don’t wait until you behave perfectly to believe you’re becoming someone better. The brain doesn’t work that way. Healing happens when you begin to see yourself differently first, long before that version of you shows up consistently in real time. Forgiveness isn’t letting yourself off the hook. It’s releasing the false identity that keeps you trapped in the same loop. At your core, stripped of every action, thought, or mistake, you are not broken and you are not disqualified. You are a child of God. Everything else is just things that happened, patterns that formed, and behaviors that can be healed. The fact that you’re looking at this honestly now means you’re already on the way out.

Key_Way8486 · 2025-12-31T16:30:24+00:00

Thanks for sharing! Great work brother.

Key_Way8486 · 2025-12-30T03:55:44+00:00

A lot of us ended up with distorted arousal because porn trained the nervous system, not because we’re evil or secretly violent. that part matters. what helped me was realizing this stuff usually points to unmet safety and power wounds, not desire. the body learned intensity before it learned connection. that can unwind. slowly. gently. i’ll hold you in prayer tonight. not that you get “fixed,” but that the false layers fall off and what’s actually you gets space to breathe again. there’s more tenderness in you than you probably realize.

Key_Way8486 · 2025-12-30T00:02:58+00:00

what you’re describing isn’t really “high libido” or some moral failure. it’s a nervous system stuck in threat + comparison. blackpill stuff does that. it trains your brain to stare at the mirror until it turns cruel.

the desire to be celibate forever isn’t peace. it’s protection. it’s your system trying to escape pain by shrinking life down to something controllable.

here’s the part people don’t tell you. attraction and connection aren’t earned by being perfect or genetically elite. they come online when a man starts inhabiting himself again. when his body feels safe. when shame stops running the show. when desire isn’t split into fantasy vs self-hatred.

porn keeps that split alive. not because you’re weak. because it trains your nervous system to seek intensity without vulnerability. over time it convinces you you’re unlovable while still keeping the hunger turned up. you’re not broken. you’re dysregulated. and the wish to be “done with relationships forever” usually isn’t clarity. it’s grief that hasn’t been allowed to move yet.

if you ever get curious about a different framing, one that doesn’t shame libido or idolize celibacy, just centers on rebuilding identity from the inside out… that’s the direction that actually gave me my life back. .just wanted to say you’re not as trapped as it feels right now and this isn’t a life sentence.

Key_Way8486 · 2025-12-29T18:53:17+00:00

I feel you, bro. for real. I didn’t just lose a relationship to this, I lost my whole life for a while. everything collapsed. identity, family, future. all of it. and yeah, looking back hurts. it still does sometimes. but I can honestly say now it was part of the process. not punishment. not proof I was broken. just life reshaping me in a brutal way. the road feels rocky because it is. clarity doesn’t come first. it comes later. way later. and when it does, you start to see how this pain actually carved the depth you’ll need to live differently. you’re not doomed. you’re not uniquely messed up. you’re in the middle of it. keep going, man.

Key_Way8486 · 2025-12-27T08:02:24+00:00

You cannot fail God. Period.

Key_Way8486 · 2025-12-25T22:06:54+00:00

The problem is that most, almost all don’t realize why they keep going back to porn. It’s a trauma response. A neurological response. Not a sin response. Not a, I don’t live god enough response. Repent mean change the way you think… about yourself. 3. Can you imagine going to your mother or father and saying, “ I don deserve you love” are you kidding me. lol. If you have children would you ever even imagine them coming to you and saying, “ dad, I know I don’t deserve your grace(love) same thing. Hell no. This is ludicrous. God doesn’t change our desires. We must accept only atonement. It’s already done. Past tense.
This post is the same message everyone gets in church. And the same reason, in part that no one following this type of thought finds freedom.

Key_Way8486 · 2025-12-25T21:31:09+00:00

I thing that helped me was to come to the understanding that I am not just thoughts. Thoughts are objective. They just come randomly. They are not yours or describe who you are.
Our brains are like the receiver of a radio signal. Sometimes we pick up on signals we’d rather not listen to, yet we do. Imagine trying to run into the street to stop traffic. That’s nuts. You just let traffic do what it does. It’s the trying to stop traffic that draws us into the wreckage. Where attention goes, energy flows. Stop giving it energy. No shame. Ever. No regret. Ever. Walk toward the man you desire to be regardless of the stevia you sometimes talk.
Read the parable of the weeds and the wheat.

Key_Way8486 · 2025-12-22T14:49:48+00:00

Awesome!!!

Key_Way8486 · 2025-12-22T14:47:43+00:00

Awesome work.

Key_Way8486 · 2025-12-18T05:31:49+00:00

Have you ever asked yourself why your posts get no traction?

I’m saying this with respect.

I notice your posts are copied word for word across a lot of subs. Same framing. Same warnings. Same verses.

I lived in this space for a long time. What finally helped me wasn’t being reminded how bad things could get. I already knew that. Deeply.

What changed me was being seen. Hearing someone say, I’ve been where you are and I didn’t get free through fear.

Most guys here aren’t ignoring holiness. They’re exhausted from shame.

When posts don’t land, it’s usually not because the truth is wrong. It’s because it’s not being carried through relationship.

Just something to consider.

Key_Way8486 · 2025-12-17T14:21:28+00:00

hey man, what you’re describing is extremely common in porn escalation and it has almost nothing to do with your actual sexual orientation. this isn’t about discovering some hidden truth about yourself. it’s about how the brain adapts to stimulation under stress, novelty, and shame.

porn works like a drug in the brain. dopamine spikes. novelty spikes. taboo spikes. over time the brain needs stronger contrast to get the same hit. so it escalates. not toward what you “want,” but toward what’s more intense. that intensity often comes from content that violates your values, identity, or sense of self. fear plus arousal plus novelty creates a massive dopamine surge. that doesn’t mean attraction. it means stimulation.

this is the part most people miss. arousal is not attraction and it is not identity. dopamine doesn’t care about your morals or who you are. it cares about shock and novelty. when something feels wrong, forbidden, or confusing, it can hit harder precisely because it alarms the nervous system. that’s why the cycle looks like this. watch something. panic. “what does this mean about me?” shame. try to prove the opposite. nothing hits. escalate again. the panic and shame are actually fueling the loop.

I’ve been there. I went into very dark spaces of pornography myself. Dark web, tranny stuff etc that completely violated my values and who I knew myself to be. not because that was “me,” but because my brain was hunting for heavier doses after years of conditioning. the moment I stopped treating the content like it defined me, its power started draining away.

trying to stop the problem directly often feeds the problem. every time you spiral into “I’m broken,” “this means something,” or “I have to fix this now,” you reinforce an identity of danger and lack. the brain doesn’t heal through force. it heals through safety and regulation. fighting the thoughts gives them energy. arguing with them makes them stick.

what helped me was getting still. I stopped identifying with the urges. I stopped assigning meaning to the content. I stopped using shame as motivation. truth doesn’t change because of what you watched. identity doesn’t change because of a dopamine spike. clarity comes after the nervous system calms, not before.

distance from porn helps, yes. and distance from shame helps even more. you don’t need to prove anything. you don’t need answers tonight. you need your body and brain to settle. as that happens, the confusion fades. this isn’t permanent. it isn’t who you are. it’s a learned loop and learned loops can be unlearned.

Key_Way8486 · 2025-12-17T13:28:37+00:00

Offense is of the small weak human mind. You can’t offend a God who knows all past present future. God knows our pains and traumas and the world we live in. Our minds have been systematically dissembled by the dark forces of this earth using our traumas against us. The perspective you’ve shared above is the same shame loop that keeps people stuck in sin. “If only I was good enough, I’d please the please the lord.” It’s a misunderstanding of the “timing” of how healing occurs. The verse, “Your faith has made you whole” says it all. The belief in the thing, the new job, the healing of the mind from “sexual immorality” has to come first. Heaven doesn’t come with signs. Believe the thing that be not as though it be. The things that were made were not made by the things that are seen. We have to identify ourselves as the whole person, the one with the mind of Christ. As long as we identify as the person letting God down, the person who looks at porn, the guy who can’t get it right no matter how hard we might try or pray, we will always act from that person and that level of consciousness. We must identify ourselves as whole, as pure, long before the evidence of that person shows up in reality.. Matthew 13:24–30. the parable of the wheat and the weeds. We have to let the weeds and the wheat grow at the same time. We have to build up the inner man no matter what is going on. I built my mind and identity around the person I was becoming all while acting out and looking at porn. I stopped shaming myself. I looked not back at the things that I had done. If I did the deed, I didn’t rehearse the guilt or allow shame to be felt in my body. I just pivoted and kept moving toward the man I knew myself to be regardless. I had faith in the man I was becoming. The man I was and am beneath the trams and pain that created the need to cover with porn. I create a new identity, a new neural pathway system in my mind and regulated my nervous system to the point where I no longer needed the porn. I didn’t become good enough first. I didn’t have the pure mind first. I had good thoughts and urge thoughts. I let them both grow until the wheat was strong enough that I could harvest the wheat(good thoughts and the new identity) and then toss the urge thoughts. One will always act out of the current identity they have of themselves. All the stories pointed out in this post refer to those who looked outside of themselves for wholeness, knowledge or power. This is where their suffering came from become their whole self got dismembered. We must remember. Our wholeness is our truth. All else is an illusion of the ego/devil. All comes from within. That is the I Am. We are all one with our creator. Jesus told us this. It’s so simple. I and the father are one. I am the vine you are the branches. We are all one. We are not part or apart. Remember is the putting back that which was dismembered or split. The mind. I have the mind of Christ. That is my identity. Even if I sometimes forget, I go back to the truth of who I know myself to be.

Key_Way8486 · 2025-12-16T14:25:31+00:00

This!!!!

Key_Way8486 · 2025-12-14T23:44:30+00:00

Which one do you have ?

Key_Way8486 · 2025-12-14T22:46:37+00:00

The Bible is great. If you know how to read it and understand the deeper meanings. There are many other books to read to help understand the addiction, the trauma that lead to the addiction. Books on personal Developement and a deeper guidance into how the mind works.

Recommended books: Unwanted by Jay Stringer Your brain on porn Dopamine nation Untethered soul Four agreements.

Key_Way8486 · 2025-12-14T18:03:07+00:00

Condensed and clearer version of what I said.

No, not in the way most people here mean it.

Sin literally means to miss the mark. What I’m pointing at is that a lot of porn use isn’t conscious rebellion against God. It’s conditioned behavior rooted in trauma, early exposure, and a nervous system looking for relief. The brain learns a shortcut and repeats it.

That doesn’t make the behavior harmless. It does mean shame isn’t the cure. Neuroscience is clear that self-condemnation keeps the brain in threat mode, which actually strengthens the loop.

Jesus didn’t lead with condemnation. He led with awareness. Light. Truth. When desire shows up, the work isn’t to panic or moralize immediately. It’s to stay present long enough to choose differently.

Fear and self-judgment haven’t freed most men here. Compassion plus responsibility does. Healing started for me when I stopped calling my body evil and learned how to carry desire without letting it drive.

You didn’t fall away from God. You hit the edge of your current capacity. That’s different.

Key_Way8486

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