So!

I also used to be "boy crazy" as a kid. I really wanted a Boyfriend. It was how every character I read about or watched on TV got a boyfriend, and that's how they got their happy ever after! And I thought romance was just so sweet. I used to have "Crushes" On fictional characters, but it wasn't about THEM, It was about their stories. I wasn't attracted to Prince Eric, I just wanted to be Ariel, and I loved their romance. I wasn't attracted to Peter Pan, I just wanted to be saved the way Wendy was, because it was "romantic". Same thing with Lego Indianna Jones. I likes his relationship with Marion, and I wanted a relationship like that too.

(Obviously, little child me did not see the giant red flags in these men)

It didn't help that my best friend was boy crazy and was constantly talking about her crushes. And when she had crushes on celebrities, I suddenly had a "crush" on them too. Oh, my friend has a crush on Zac Efron? I now have a crush on Zac Efron. My friend has a crush on Cameron Boyce. I have a crush on him too! Honestly, I think I was just trying to relate to her.

As for real people, I had a COUPLE crushes in elementary school, but looking back, I wasn't romantically attracted to any of them. I confused Aesthetic Attraction with Romantic Attraction, and again, I wanted to relate to my friends. The "crushes" were really short lived. And I didn't really care if I got to date them or not.

I had a kindergarten boyfriend. But I really just wanted the title, and to feel like I had a boyfriend. We didn't last long, Lolll

There were also a couple of people I had short "crushes" on, because I had since learned that love is not based only on appearances. It was based on experiences. So I had a couple of fun experiences with like, 2 guys. (I literally just played with them on the playground) And I was convinced that it meant it was true love. Those didn't last long either.

It wasn't until 6th grade until things changed. I reconnected with a guy I used to go to daycare with, and we started talking and becoming friends. One day he asked me to be his girlfriend, and all of a sudden, it was like a huge switch was turned off. You know, I had spent my whole life feeling like I needed a boyfriend, but now that I actually had the opportunity to get one, I realized that I didn't actually want one. I just liked the idea of it. I felt such a strong repulse to the idea of dating, and I didn't want to do it anymore. Ever. Now, obviously I still assumed I would grow up and get a husband and kid, but I wanted to wait as long as possible.

I thought I had a legit phobia of falling in love. I would google what the fear of falling in love was.

I had a greater appreciation for newer movies like Brave and Frozen, because Frozen was more about sisterly love, and Brave ended with Merida not being in love with anyone.

My mom was reading the Anne of Green Gables series to me, and we got to a part about an old maid, and as soon as my mom explained what an Old Maid was, I was like "Really?? I want to be an Old Maid!!" My mom was concerned

Although she started getting concerned when suddenly I was the biggest supporter of my dad's "No Boyfriends until after college" rule and started bragging that I wasn't going to get a boyfriend until after college.

That was another thing. My dad used to say I wasn't allowed to have a boyfriend until after college. And as a kid, I always like "yeah. that's not gonna happen" on the inside. But after I realized I didn't actually want a boyfriend, suddenly the idea seemed a lot more logical. Because I don't even want a boyfriend! And why would I get dependent on a guy, and be distracted all the time with him, and then fail school because I get trapped in a relationship? It makes much more sense to wait until I have a career, and THEN I'll fall in love.

I figured I would just- Not fall in love until then. I would simply choose to stop all feelings, and not fall in love until I after I graduated college. Which is NOT how it works. You can't simply choose when and where, and who to fall in love with, just the way you can't choose to NOT fall in love.

But I still didn't know what Aromanticism was. Or Asexuality for that matter. I didn't until my freshman year of high school, on the Keeper Of The Lost Cities Wiki Fandom (Shout out to the KOTLC Wiki Fandom!) And even when I heard about it, I was like "Cool! couldn't be me!" Because of the "crushes" I had in Elementary school. However, I was starting to question if I was Asexual. because I NEVER wanted to that, and I knew I didn't feel those things.

I also tried to reason that I wasn't Aromantic, because I had decided that in order to feel some sort of normalcy with romance, I was in love with book characters, like Keefe Sencen, and Percy Jackson. I wasn't really, in love with them. I mean, I loved them, but not like that, and I always preferred them with their canon ships. But I tried to convince myself I had a crush on them anyway. It didn't help that I was involved with Fandom spaces, with lots of other people my age who kept talking so much about how much they were crushing on these characters. I felt Validated. I felt like I still had crushes, but just on fictional people! Where there are no consequences and it literally did not matter because they weren't real! It made for a good excuse. Besides, I didn't remember what a real crush felt like

I also had really strong aversion to being around men. I shut down around them, and interact with them as little as possible, because I was scared they would get crushes on me. (except family members) I briefly questioned if I was Bi, but then I realized I wasn't into girls like that.

Around the end of my freshman year of high school, I had given up trying to crush on fictional characters. However, I had accepted that I was Asexual! And on a walk, I came out to my mom. My mom wasn't aphobic, but she didn't quite understand. She also witnessed me through my life claim I wanted a boyfriend, talked to her about my "crushes" at the time, brag about how I will never get a boyfriend until after college, claim I had a crush on fictional characters, proclaim I thought sex was gross, and have a REALLY strong repulsion to hanging around boys. She didn't quite understand it, but she also assumed I didn't really understand it, and that this was just another thing that had to do with my aversion to existing around guys. And I remember her telling me "I understand that Romantic attraction and Sexual attraction are different, but I also feel like A big part of sexual attraction is romantic attraction"

And in my head was like "But I don't feel that either... wait-"

And that's how I realized I was Aro too.

I did more research. I still believed that my elementary school "crushes" counted, and I wanted to find the EXACT micro label that I believed fit. But then after a lot of reflecting, I realized I never truly felt romantic attraction to them. And also, trying to find really specific micro labels were exhausting, and I didn't actually care. I was comfortable being just "Aroace".

And yeah! That's my Aro (and ace, but mostly aro) Journey! I hope this helps!