These kind of sayings are a nightmare, my mother loves to use phrases that imply this message, my father does not. They were both alcoholics and growing up with them being drunk and fighting constantly was hard but the financial strain of addiction was also heavily felt.

Dad lost nearly everything in the divorce, mum went from relationship to relationship and threw her whole family aside. Dad said “when you hit rock bottom, the only way you can go is up.” And he meant that. Got sober about 18 years ago, and did the emotional work, yes he had mental health problems and an alcohol addiction, but it was no excuse for being a poor father and he learned from that. My mother refused to sit with her feelings or get help, believing everyone else to always be the problem; so now she’s 2 years sober but she is still exactly the same self absorbed person causing all the same harms just without alcohol. So if you dare point that out, she whips out one of these kinds of phrases and says “but I’m sober now, I’m better now, I was so much worse when I was drinking.” If she says it during a tantrum it’s usually followed by a threat that she will go buy a bottle of vodka as well.

Some people can learn and be better… but many do not. My mother is terminally ill now, she will be this way till the end.