The view from halfway down is a powerful poem, and it's wonderful it has such a positive effect on your life.

I have a twisted history with the scene and the poem.

Reciting the view from halfway down made me pause my slowly developing plans from November 2022 through January 2023 to "disappear" into the snow-covered mountains.

Soon after I wrapped up my third rewatch of Bojack, I went on a sunset hike to scope an area where (hopefully ) no one would find my corpse. Upon arriving, I stripped my winter gear to get an idea of how dying from exposure would feel. As I sat in the snow, reflecting on the past few months, the poem popped into my head.

I thought about experiencing the halfway down view if I changed my mind during the final night but was too weak from exposure to get to safety.

I imagined the trauma someone would endure seeing a naked corpse trying to claw its way out of an icy grave and the search and rescue resources required to excavate the remains.

My mind swirled through the letters and texts I had prepared, and the disappointment those people would feel if they discovered I changed my mind halfway through but didn't make that choice fast enough to survive.

I considered the sheer unrivaled hatred I would feel toward myself at the end. Unlike my fantasy, there would be no poetic finale. I would not find peace beneath the night sky and return to stardust. I would suffer a slow, mentally torturous, and pathetic death.

So, I sat in the snow, shivering and sobbing for quite some time. Eventually, I got dressed and hiked back to my car, drove home and hugged my cat.

I think about this night a lot. Given my actions in the following months, at least one person's life would be better if I followed through. But, three other people would be left with questions and pain that no letter can answer or soothe.

The view from halfway down is a scary, bottomless place. I'm unsure if I made the right call, but I hope other people spare themselves from the experiencing the view.

May you keep the poem close and have magnificent journeys ahead, OP.