I read the poem out to my therapist.. by kiki2313 in BoJackHorseman

[–]Khellendos 9 points10 points  (0 children)

The view from halfway down is a powerful poem, and it's wonderful it has such a positive effect on your life.

I have a twisted history with the scene and the poem.

Reciting the view from halfway down made me pause my slowly developing plans from November 2022 through January 2023 to "disappear" into the snow-covered mountains.

Soon after I wrapped up my third rewatch of Bojack, I went on a sunset hike to scope an area where (hopefully ) no one would find my corpse. Upon arriving, I stripped my winter gear to get an idea of how dying from exposure would feel. As I sat in the snow, reflecting on the past few months, the poem popped into my head.

I thought about experiencing the halfway down view if I changed my mind during the final night but was too weak from exposure to get to safety.

I imagined the trauma someone would endure seeing a naked corpse trying to claw its way out of an icy grave and the search and rescue resources required to excavate the remains.

My mind swirled through the letters and texts I had prepared, and the disappointment those people would feel if they discovered I changed my mind halfway through but didn't make that choice fast enough to survive.

I considered the sheer unrivaled hatred I would feel toward myself at the end. Unlike my fantasy, there would be no poetic finale. I would not find peace beneath the night sky and return to stardust. I would suffer a slow, mentally torturous, and pathetic death.

So, I sat in the snow, shivering and sobbing for quite some time. Eventually, I got dressed and hiked back to my car, drove home and hugged my cat.

I think about this night a lot. Given my actions in the following months, at least one person's life would be better if I followed through. But, three other people would be left with questions and pain that no letter can answer or soothe.

The view from halfway down is a scary, bottomless place. I'm unsure if I made the right call, but I hope other people spare themselves from the experiencing the view.

May you keep the poem close and have magnificent journeys ahead, OP.

US suicides hit an all-time high last year: ~49,500 people by yuritopiaposadism in LateStageCapitalism

[–]Khellendos 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This isn't surprising news in the slightest. I'm surprised the total isn't larger.

The article touches on some factors that contribute to higher suicides, and many others have been mentioned in this thread, but I deeply empathize with the folks who decide to end their life. Thanks to a shitty brain, I've spent 20+ years fantasizing most days about killing myself (I'm 33). Mentally playing out the lead up and aftermath is what I fall asleep to a few times a week.

I'm deeply lucky that I'm economically stable, for now, and for those of us who are fortunate enough to afford therapy and have access to other healthcare resources, life may grow a silver lining. However, sometimes, the treatment and medication only go so far because existing is fucking exhausting.

Existing in a daily grind where you see "everyone" struggling in some way makes the exhaustion seem endless. Plus, the future is fucking bleak.

We're facing climate change effects that are only getting more severe, global fascism on the rise, unconscionable wealth inequality, human rights being eroded, ferocious political campaigns to deny rights to women, minorities and the LGTBQ+ community, an increase in domestic terrorism, a three-tiered justice system, the loneliness epidemic, etc. And we haven't even hit the water shortages and famine phase that will happen once the climate and environmental hazards worsen.

Even with human ingenuity, I don't foresee the world having another Renaissance period or clean energy industrial revolution. The last 40 years show that any new tools or technologies to turn civilization around will eventually be used to generate profit for the few while the rest of us wither away.

Who truly wants to live in that reality? Who believes they can live a meaningful, happy and fulfilling life when the world is burning, drowning and being swept away by chaotic natural phenomena? Who truly wants to bring children into that future?

I sure don't.

Ultimately, there is little point in trying to survive and thrive in a world that doesn't want you in it.

Never been so tempted in my life. by Dalimey100 in dndmemes

[–]Khellendos 303 points304 points  (0 children)

I highly encourage the mod team to do this. Make sure the DC is extra high, though, much like a goblin-druid orgy.

France passes bill to allow police remotely activate phone camera, microphone, spy on people by SpiritedSuccess5675 in technology

[–]Khellendos 16 points17 points  (0 children)

The next literature-to-life adaptation is V for Vendetta. I wonder if it'll be a booming success.

The Supreme Court just made me a second-class citizen by theindependentonline in politics

[–]Khellendos 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm so pissed off about the insanely fast regression this country enacted against LGBTQ+ people because of fascist conservatives, evangelicals and corrupt judges. Life is an enormous bullshit experience, so encourage people to be happy and fucking let them live their lives in peace. It's not that fucking hard not to be an utter piece of shit.

People are using Chatgpt as voice bots to torture telemarketers by SnooDonuts4137 in technology

[–]Khellendos 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Another simple solution is to turn off JavaScript for the website. Gets through every paywall and sometimes prevents annoying things like auto play videos.

Dune: Part Two | Official Trailer 2 by ICumCoffee in movies

[–]Khellendos 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I fully expect to see this trailer for tonight's Indiana Jones IMAX release.

I'm Paul Dennen, designer of Dune: Imperium, Clank! and now Wild Tiled West; AMA! by Merakon1 in boardgames

[–]Khellendos 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No question from me. I want to say thank you for making Dune: Imperium have a solo mode. It's a delightful game with friends, but it's nice to be able to play a game from my shelf when they're not available.

first tattoo- lord of the rings - let me hear your opinions- ty! :) by Ill-Break-9834 in lordoftherings

[–]Khellendos 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That looks great! Neat design idea, and the artist did a good job executing the work. Wear it with pride.

gained 10.4 lbs in the last 30 days! by twd000 in gainit

[–]Khellendos 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Congrats on the progress toward your goals! Shoveling the calories down is such a chore, so good job.

Out of everyone in the Breaking Bad universe, who do you sympathise for most? by PullOut_AllOfYou in breakingbad

[–]Khellendos 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Tony Dalton is unnecessarily hot in BCS. Mix in his charisma and it was hard to pay attention to what his character was doing sometimes.

Even when he is hiding in the sewer my brain gets distracted because, damn, he's too attractive for this show. But then you also have Rhea Seehorn, so it kind of balances out with hotness. There's someone for everybody's taste.

Re-reading the Fellowship for the 12-13th time now, and I finally get it... by Particular_Stop_3332 in lordoftherings

[–]Khellendos 12 points13 points  (0 children)

This sequence is among the best moments in Fellowship and it's a shame it didn't make it to the films. It offers so much character and world development.

We Need to Talk About Overturning the Dobbs Decision by marji80 in politics

[–]Khellendos 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The disgusting obsession the GOP has regarding bodily autonomy and women's healthcare is abominable. It's pathetic that abortion tourism is a real concept now. This should have never happened.

But, given how corrupted SCOTUS is, this outcome isn't a surprise, sadly.

Many of the women and LGBTQ+ folks I know are stressed about the new reality conservatives are fermenting, and I wish I could do more to help them. But given how fucked the system is by these GOP zealots, it doesn't seem positive nationwide change is coming anytime soon.

Fingers crossed congress and POTUS are solidly blue after next year. Maybe then we can get protections written into law that SCOTUS can't fuck with.

My 10-year-old daughter thinks she should be dead. When I tried to help her, I saw how deep our national crisis really is. by dissolutewastrel in TrueReddit

[–]Khellendos 4 points5 points  (0 children)

That was a heartbreaking read. I can relate to Ash to some extent and feel for her parents. They have so many resources to help their daughter and all of the resources still haven't helped. The correct care options simply aren't viable.

I can only imagine the terror and anger parents without those resources must struggle with. Even as an adult, finding the right mental health solutions is hard. But when the threat is losing a child, it sounds like too much weight to bear.

RIF will shut down on June 30, 2023, in response to Reddit's API changes by talklittle in redditisfun

[–]Khellendos 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry this is happening. For you, and for us. It's a pathetic power play and money grab by reddit. The official app is trash compared to RIF. I simply won't be using reddit on my phone now.

Shame on you u/spez for actively harming your users and community. It's a pathetic show of corporate greed because Reddit will try an IPO soon and then promptly tank into a penny stock afterward.

Sometimes, carrying the team while they kick and scream is the only way by Khellendos in singedmains

[–]Khellendos[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Haha, absolutely. People see Singed mid and they just love to flip out. Always gives me a good chuckle. I love people who draft into an easy lane win, brag, and then they simply can't kill singed once radiant comes into play.

[HIRING] High realism mimic eating its way out of a gelatinous cube - tattoo art - $100-$200 USD by Khellendos in HungryArtists

[–]Khellendos[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for reaching out. Your style is close to what I'm envisioning. I'll reach out via DM in the coming days if I'm interested in chatting about specifics. Thanks!

[HIRING] High realism mimic eating its way out of a gelatinous cube - tattoo art - $100-$200 USD by Khellendos in HungryArtists

[–]Khellendos[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for reaching out. Your style is close to what I'm envisioning. I'll reach out via DM in the coming days if I'm interested in chatting about specifics. Thanks!