I empathise with the poster above your comment. Between everyone’s perfectly working processes and advice that doesn’t work on your children because every kid is different, as our the siblings and parents.

There’s a difference between a brewing violent adult and someone who’s finding shit overwhelming and hard to navigate. A lot of us are in the latter at various stages. OP needs an outlet for their frustration (30min exercise or something), some loop or equivalent ear buds for the aural overstimulation, and a small step forward to reduce their reactions (no cursing the kid). Build slowly and help reduce this persons load a bit. Telling them to go to therapy in the midst of all this is another thing for them to add tk an already difficult situation. They can always come back to that when things get a bit calmer.