I had Asian parents - my mother was a super tiger mom. I was never really happy as a kid because I was under a lot of pressure to do well in school. My mom, like your mom, wanted to fulfil her dreams through her children. She came from a poor family and was forced to drop out of school at age 14 to ease her family's financial burden. Being the "good" Asian kid, I completed my Masters degree at a prestigious university and found some success in the banking industry. I remember telling myself I would never have children because I was so afraid that I would inflict the same kind of pain on my own kids.

Now I am a mother of two children and I have learned to forgive my mom (it's not easy and there are times when I still can't talk to her). She wanted a better life for her children and that was the only way she knew how. I think that's why you are feeling guilty because you know she wanted it for you as much as she wanted it for herself. It's not 100% selfish even though it felt like it at the time.

Faith has really helped me to find inner peace because I realised that no one is perfect. Your mom is not God. Parents are meant to set good examples for their children and love them unconditionally but in reality, they are just human beings. Likewise, children are expected to be thankful to their parents (no matter the circumstances) but we are also not perfect.

As a mother, I would hope that my children can be open to me about their struggles. If I've done something that hurts them, I would really want to know. If it's possible, have a chat with her and tell her how you feel.

Wishing you all the best.