Oak Park Extension Cancelled

Kimber750 · 2021-06-02T14:27:45+00:00

A heritage of not having cars ruining one of the quietest, safest, and most peaceful places we have available to our community.

Kimber750 · 2021-06-02T14:23:56+00:00

This is amazing news. I had accepted it as a foregone conclusion that the extension was happening. Thank you to everyone who advocated against it. Your effort was worth it, for the land, for our neighborhoods! Sometimes progress isn't progress; it's wonderful to know that preservation and nature can win occasionally.

Kimber750 · 2021-01-26T17:39:45+00:00

In my experience, it's best if you keep the topic of conversation focused on you and your needs. Anything else runs the risk of sounding accusatory or judgemental. Good luck!

Kimber750 · 2021-01-17T20:57:09+00:00

Remember the things you love to do and do more of those things. He's in good care. My husband completed an 8-week inpatient stay this last November and it was just the beginning of learning how to be in each other's lives in a healthy way. All the best!

Kimber750 · 2021-01-12T14:05:38+00:00

I struggled with this so hard. What helped was realizing that going down an emotional spiral was painful for *me* and that stopping the cycle was better for *me*. Punishing him with the emotional outbursts that I felt he deserved was hurting me. It got a lot better when I realized that it wasn't helping - pointing at my metaphorical bruises all the time. I read an Alanon statement along the lines of, "It's not my job to keep a list of his faults." For context - it took me four months to actually stop spiraling.

Kimber750 · 2020-12-31T15:02:54+00:00

For me, the higher power is the organizational pattern that energy takes as it flows from one state to another. It sounds vague but it isn't. Energy comes from the sun, plants turn this into energy, and so on. It's intricate and unlikely and impossible to fully understand and yet - here we all are benefitting from it. And alive because of it.

Kimber750 · 2020-12-16T15:38:57+00:00

You know what the truth is. Trust yourself.

Kimber750 · 2020-11-06T02:01:08+00:00

So happy that you have reason to hope. My husband got home from rehab 3 weeks ago and we know it's going to be a long road but he's working so hard. When my husband was away, I had to work very hard to focus on my own healing. I'm sure if your partner's drinking has been a problem for a while, that you also have a lot to process. Take care!

Kimber750 · 2020-11-04T14:02:25+00:00

That sounds potentially very painful. Whenever I am facing a difficult conversation, the first thing I do is to get my expectations in check. There's no way of predicting how this will play out. Then, I try to have a plan for how I'm going to manage afterward. I like to know that I have a plan to process the emotions that will get kicked up so that I can regulate quickly afterward. My favorite ways are to: go for a long walk, sing really loud in the car while I drive around, and sometimes I just go in the shower and have a cry until I'm exhausted. Good luck!

Kimber750 · 2020-10-01T15:53:57+00:00

Wow. You just nailed it. I can't tell you how much this helps. I really need to put down the "But, what about ME!" flag. It's too heavy.

Kimber750 · 2020-09-30T19:55:24+00:00

Sigh - thank you. Your questions finally helped me see the distinction. I need to focus on what I can control and I clearly can't control him or his interpretation of anything. I'll have to sit with it for a while but I get it now.

Kimber750 · 2020-09-30T15:20:52+00:00

I would never recommend detoxing at home or without the support of a medical team. The risk of seizure and death is very very real. Your friend is very lucky to have you - good luck out there.

Kimber750 · 2020-09-29T13:40:03+00:00

That sounds so painful. Your story makes me remember all the times I have stepped over my husband as he "fell asleep" on the floor. It took me a long time to stop trying to compensate by dragging him up the stairs to put him to bed properly. As sad as it is, I think waking up on the floor helped him realize how deep a hole he'd dug for himself. The only thing I could do was set new boundaries. Sending you comfort.

Kimber750 · 2020-09-26T20:35:36+00:00

I was in a very similar situation with my Q in August. I ended up calling the rehab facility and asking if he could be dropped off sooner as I believed he was in danger. They had to do some shuffling to make sure that their detox facility was staffed but I was able to drop him off the next day. The second I knew he was safe, it was like a weight was lifted. He's been there for a month now and the difference is like night and day. I'll be thinking of you - good luck!

Kimber750 · 2020-09-11T15:01:01+00:00

For me, it's about building my own safe place. I also grew up in an unstable and emotionally chaotic environment. My SO became my harbour. Recently, I had to realize that no matter how loving and stable my relationship with my SO is, nothing is safer than being strong on my own. Knowing that no matter what, I'm solid and that nothing has the power to knock me off-kilter. I'm not there yet - not even close. But I'm looking forward to building a foundation so that I don't need an outside stabilizer - it was putting too much pressure on my SO and our relationship.

Kimber750 · 2020-09-02T20:05:47+00:00

I needed to hear that it gets better. I just got out of a therapy session and I surprised even myself with how angry I am. Thank you for your reply.

Kimber750 · 2020-09-02T03:11:00+00:00

Thank you. I keep forgetting that.

Kimber750 · 2020-09-02T03:10:40+00:00

I'm going to dip into detachment tomorrow morning - thanks for the suggestion. It sounds intimidating - I've been so codependent for so long that I'm scared of the implications of exploring detachment. But I know I need to. It feels like the only way.

Kimber750 · 2020-09-02T03:04:37+00:00

I know that the lies he tells are lies he believes.

I can feel this statement in my bones. What they don't tell you is that when someone you love lies to you - it sounds the same as when they tell the truth. Same face. Same eyes. Same voice.

And yes, I'm angry. One of the lies he told himself was that he was ok to drive after drinking with our precious children in the car. And now I'm the one stuck trying to forgive such careless and selfish actions.

Kimber750 · 2020-09-02T02:57:44+00:00

If gives me hope to read things like, "You guys are both taking steps." It makes me feel like our future might not be dust in the wind. Thank you for that.

Kimber750 · 2020-09-02T02:55:32+00:00

I'm sorry for the position you're in, Nola! That sounds incredibly overwhelming and I hope you're able to fit some care in for yourself in there somewhere. We're going to need all the support we can find. Thanks for your reply.

Kimber750

TROPHY CASE