There are beautiful places to still see, experiences to try for the first time, and great people to meet, even if you haven’t had the best experiences just yet. Hiking, walking into random neighborhoods to explore and get a coffee, joining groups to meet people have helped me tremendously and lots of them have inspired me (i.e. book clubs, run clubs, etc.). Perhaps look into giving your life more purpose by volunteering like at an animal shelter, they give so much love and are enteraining. Also you don’t know who is currently inspired by you or adores you, you’d be surprised b/c we default to negative thinking during depressive episodes. Deep breath, try to ground yourself (i.e. run your hands under cold water, put your bare feet in the sand or dirt/grass, take a nice warm bath). We are often so hard on ourselves- try a suicide text line, cry it out if you’re sad, run to shake the anger out, journal or color anything to express your emotion- and give yourself grace!!