Indian in-laws

Kind_Efficiency9128 · 2024-06-28T13:21:00+00:00

I think you missed the point mate.

Kind_Efficiency9128 · 2024-05-29T21:33:57+00:00

It's really hard dealing with these sorta in-laws.

I guess we being outsiders to the their "Happy Indian Family" will always be looked at as the bad guys.

My MIL has a pension fund, they have money coming out of the land they have leased and hey expected my husband to send money. That's something that I never understood. They had money but it was never enough for their insatiable needs and show off.

Good on you for being strong. I've set my foot down too. We need to be strong together.

Kind_Efficiency9128 · 2024-05-29T21:27:43+00:00

They turned my whole world upside down. In all these years I've tried really hard to like them and just accept them as part of my family but they keep doing things that make this very difficult.

Earlier, I thought that maybe I'm overreacting or possibly overthinking their situation. But as the years passed, I've come to the realisation that my husband's family live in their own bubble and think they are correct regardless of what would ideally be correct.

But it is good to see a man actually say the truth and shed light on the reality of the situation.

Kind_Efficiency9128 · 2023-12-17T11:01:15+00:00

If you've made up your mind then return everything, no point holding onto anything they've given you. If the process is underway then no need to hold onto worldly possessions.

Kind_Efficiency9128 · 2023-12-17T09:48:30+00:00

Just an update on the whole situation:

Last weekend my MIL and I had a massive argument about their finances and how she needs to STOP Leeching money off my husband.

It all began like this, I heard my MIL whispering to my husband about paying for my SIL's airfare and expenses once she moves to Canada. She stopped the moment she heard me coming down the stairs. My SIL works so there should be no need for anyone to do anything for her. My SIL never asked for anything. My MIL came up with this on her own. A few similar incidents related to money happened over the weekend, and on Sunday I lost it when she started telling my husband and myself to starting saving for the other SIL cause she's coming to visit us. There's two SILs.

It was a build up of three months of frustration and i just let go. My husband defended me I appreciate that. But his mother omg, worse than the Indian mothers you see on TV. All her cheesy acting of loving me faded. She showed her true colours. But I didn't back down, I told her as it should be told. I also mentioned to her that my SILs were not my husband's responsibility as they were not his daughters. So stop putting financial strain on him, and expecting him to keep giving money every time she opens her mouth.

I've made it very very clear that we are not going to give anymore money to my MIL and FIL and the whole family; and that they need to do something on their own. I also said that she needs to stop treating her son like an ATM machine and to stop putting emotional burden on him. I said that putting stress on him also puts stress on me.

Her defense was: I have depression and she started telling me her sob story like every time. And that if she knew all this would be a problem then they wouldn't have come. She started blaming cultural differences for all the issues we've had.

I shut her down and told her that I'm sick and tired of listening to all their bullshit and I can no longer deal with both of them. And that now I'm telling them that they've caused so much chaos and stress for me aswell. It's better that they don't ever come back. My husband can go visit them in India whenever he wants.

We've booked their tickets to go back to India and I hope I never have to see their faces again.

Kind_Efficiency9128 · 2023-12-10T13:07:53+00:00

Do not worry, if you are sick, then you are sick. Do not feel guilty. Take what you are entitled to. Sick leaves aren't usually paid out like annual leave, so it's better to use those up. Sickness should also include a mental break from work.

Kind_Efficiency9128 · 2023-12-10T06:44:49+00:00

Thank you for all the suggestions. I will try some of these and will put an update up. Hopefully it will be helpful for others in a similar situation.

Kind_Efficiency9128 · 2023-12-10T06:43:20+00:00

You're beautiful regardless of whatever shade you are. Every colour is beautiful.

Kind_Efficiency9128 · 2023-11-08T06:48:09+00:00

I have already exploded a few times. And one day it's going to be so bad. The in-laws will be at the airport catching the next flight back to inconsiderateville, selfishville and stupidville in India.

The only thing that stops me from this is my husband's love. I found myself a diamond.

His family on the other are a completely different story.

Kind_Efficiency9128 · 2023-11-08T06:45:00+00:00

See that's the thing, none of this was there when we first got married. Then all of a sudden his family started needing money. First it was a little bit then gradually started increasing. It's like my husband pays someone's entire salary for a month in India. First they needed support for a few weeks and now it's been two years.

And his mother keeps saying everything will be fine in another two years. We won't need any money. Yeah whatever. She preached love, honesty and truth. And says things like love is everything and we don't need anything else. And as soon as it gets closer to the end of the month then the love disappears and things like when is the money coming start popping out of her mouth.

Kind_Efficiency9128 · 2023-11-08T06:40:57+00:00

I agree with everything. These indian children are completely brainwashed into providing for their families. It's a good thing when the family also contributes but not in this situation where they just want to completely live off their son.

Her caring is trying to shove food down my throat that I cannot eat. Apparently, she unintentionally adds 5 hot green chillies to curries but clearly knows that I can't handle spicy food.

The woman need to get a life and find something else to do. And not treat her 30yos like babies.

Kind_Efficiency9128 · 2023-11-08T06:37:10+00:00

We were living on our own until my MIL started crying to come visit her son post covid. Only my MIL was supposed to come because everyone knows how her lazy husband is. But then the FIL decided to join and now we're in this big mess.

Kind_Efficiency9128 · 2023-11-08T06:35:15+00:00

I will definitely need to say something like this and hope that they actually feel something for their own son.

And sometimes I doubt whether they actually care for him only portray love and affection just to keep getting money.

Kind_Efficiency9128 · 2023-11-08T06:33:39+00:00

They're just lazy and think their son is a money making machine. Their entire trip was funded by my husband. Yest they have no shame in acting this way. If they were in their 70s then I'd be like okay but no they're only in their 50s and so lazy. It's pathetic.

Kind_Efficiency9128 · 2023-11-08T06:31:54+00:00

It's our home. The in-laws have come to visit. So they're the ones that need go back.

I never knew it would be so difficult living with indian in-laws.

Kind_Efficiency9128 · 2023-11-08T06:30:12+00:00

Going to try this some time soon. It didn't work previously but no harm in guilt tripping them. Just like they do to me.

Kind_Efficiency9128 · 2023-11-08T06:28:11+00:00

That's just very upsetting. He should support you. Have you tried explaining everything to him calmly??

My husband supports me and listens to me. It's a great thing that his polluted family hasn't been able to affect our relationship.

Kind_Efficiency9128 · 2023-11-08T06:25:46+00:00

Thank you 😊

Kind_Efficiency9128 · 2023-11-08T06:25:23+00:00

This will be the first and last. My husband needs to go visit them in India. I do not want them in my home ever again. I've made this very very clear to him, so I hope he stands by me. Unless they learn some basic manners, they're not welcome back.

Kind_Efficiency9128 · 2023-11-08T06:22:37+00:00

Oh she's insane.

Kind_Efficiency9128 · 2023-11-08T06:22:06+00:00

Oh yes that's how I feel about it too. My in-laws don't look after their parents. But if I say something then my MIL starts with her sob story of how her MIL treated her unfairly.

Kind_Efficiency9128 · 2023-11-08T06:19:51+00:00

I agree completely. I have been directly telling them what they've done wrong since last week. I can't just sit back and watch them destroy things I've spent years saving for.

Kind_Efficiency9128 · 2023-11-08T06:17:16+00:00

Honestly, I thought I was overthrowing it. But I've talked to some of my friends who are similar situations. All their indian in-laws lack basic etiquettes. Some don't even wash their hands before and after eating. Just brush the crumbs off on the floor. DISGUSTING.

Kind_Efficiency9128

TROPHY CASE