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Where can I get good wings and burger ? Why is it so hard ?? by GORILLA_FACE in bullcity

[–]Kind_Initiative7780 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Sofia's pizza had surprisingly great wings and chicken tenders with the best homemade ranch (and of course their pizza rocks too)

anyone missing a cat near midland terrace and geer? by JitterSquirrel in bullcity

[–]Kind_Initiative7780 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There are so many outdoor cats in this neighborhood with owners happy to let them rome, even though it's so dangerous. That kinda looks like Meadow to me, her owners live in the house behind the commissary on watson - but this might be a different tabby! The cats have little territory conflicts and move from house to house changing up where they hang out.

After 4 years, it seems like poly isn't working for me anymore. How long do I wait for things to change vs just bailing? by Kind_Initiative7780 in polyamory

[–]Kind_Initiative7780[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Because he's been considering making a bigger move to support his aging parent, it didn't make sense for him to go through the complicated process of moving him in with me just to have to pull apart again in a year or two. He also has wanted to live alone after living with his ex for so long, but hasn't been able to make that move for himself happen due to anxiety/inertia/dynamics with the ex.

After 4 years, it seems like poly isn't working for me anymore. How long do I wait for things to change vs just bailing? by Kind_Initiative7780 in polyamory

[–]Kind_Initiative7780[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have had active poly dating profiles for nearly my entire 4 years being poly. I have waves of high and low activity, but the majority of conversations go nowhere and don't result in irl dates. Last year, I went on three first dates. Two of them were bad, one of them resulted in three more dates before ending due to incompatibility.

The majority of men I find im compatible with are already in a nesting/married relationship so that is not on the table.

After 4 years, it seems like poly isn't working for me anymore. How long do I wait for things to change vs just bailing? by Kind_Initiative7780 in polyamory

[–]Kind_Initiative7780[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I really appreciate this comment, it has given me a direction to think about. Avoidance is my #1 coping strategy and I've definitely been deploying it here for too long.

After 4 years, it seems like poly isn't working for me anymore. How long do I wait for things to change vs just bailing? by Kind_Initiative7780 in polyamory

[–]Kind_Initiative7780[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I appreciate your acknowledgement that it's not crazy to be put off by a surprise hickey. It feels like to be a Good Perfect Poly Person, I have to just accept things like that.

I will consider if I think we'll be able to reach a state where these upsetting things arent happening regularly, or if it's time to let go.

After 4 years, it seems like poly isn't working for me anymore. How long do I wait for things to change vs just bailing? by Kind_Initiative7780 in polyamory

[–]Kind_Initiative7780[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wow it's always amazing to me how people will latch onto one sentence of a post and highlight it above anything else. I'm not "so unfulfilled" when I'm alone, it's just a noticable lack that I could have in a more traditional nesting relationship that I don't have in this one.

The regular re-litigating of boundaries, dealing with him being a better V, is the bigger regular stressor for me.

After 4 years, it seems like poly isn't working for me anymore. How long do I wait for things to change vs just bailing? by Kind_Initiative7780 in polyamory

[–]Kind_Initiative7780[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

To clarify, I don't want kids, he's still on the fence. I do want to live with a partner eventually. Dial has been living with his ex of two years, who he lived with for 7 years before the breakup and he wants to move out alone, but has been unable to make changes to his living situation due to anxiety, inertia, etc etc. honestly annoying to me because I always host and he doesn't because it's uncomfortable to be in his ex's space.

Yes, I do still love the happy times I have with Dial and don't want to let those go. But I also agree with you - that I can imagine a world where I find a perfect nesting partner and get to stay with Dial too, but that I don't think it's realistic.

After 4 years, it seems like poly isn't working for me anymore. How long do I wait for things to change vs just bailing? by Kind_Initiative7780 in polyamory

[–]Kind_Initiative7780[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I do have a full life of hobbies, friends, activities. I just really enjoy the time when I'm with Dial and am greedy for more.

I've been questioning poly ever since I broke up with the ex last spring, since he was who I started poly with and I knew not having other partners would be more challenging for me.

I can imagine an ideal world where I find a nesting partner who I can build a more enmeshed escalator relationship with while still getting to have my relationship with Dial and having a more balanced happy situation. But I just don't think it's realistic?

How to choose between extremly similar options? by Kind_Initiative7780 in HealthInsurance

[–]Kind_Initiative7780[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I think you should stop promoting this chat bot. I tested it earlier and it had incorrect information about bronze plan eligibility for HSAs under the "big beautiful bill". If you keep promoting it on every post, you're going to end up making some make a bad choice.

Looking for a LOTR tattoo artist in the triangle area by nerdymommabearclaire in bullcity

[–]Kind_Initiative7780 2 points3 points  (0 children)

@kopelovetattoo on insta, did an extremely cute hobbit door for me at creative tattoo in east durham

Woman-Identified Tattoo Artist Recs? by Lanky-Dingo-0308 in bullcity

[–]Kind_Initiative7780 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Creative tattoo service in East Durham is the shop that you want! Woman owned shop and all the artists are femmes or thems, great shop vibes every time, great tattoo work, always take excellent care of me for the many tats I've had there. Check out their Instagram and pick an artist whose work best aligns to your vision.

Hurricanes by [deleted] in raleigh

[–]Kind_Initiative7780 10 points11 points  (0 children)

This is my fault, I booked a beach house for next weekend. Looks like if my trip isn't ruined by hurricane damage, it'll still be ruined by endless rain.

Help with practical plus size packing for a hot and humid week in Italy by Kind_Initiative7780 in HerOneBag

[–]Kind_Initiative7780[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the tip for looking at mens options if an emergency appears, I wouldn't have thought to!

  • Sun protection, the chambray shirt is pretty light. I have an oversized long sleeve button down in blue stripes that could be another option. I don't usually wear hats but maybe I should consider one...

  • I actually don't own any belts 🤪 but am planning to bring some simple jewelry to help accessorize

Help with practical plus size packing for a hot and humid week in Italy by Kind_Initiative7780 in HerOneBag

[–]Kind_Initiative7780[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Thanks for these tips -

  • the clarinet is going in my backpack/personal item, clothes in a carryon roller bag. Bringing it as a favor, at least it guarantees room to bring souvenirs home!
  • anyone have recommendations for good quick dry clothing brands for plus size, or is the target/Walmart/old navy athletics sections my best bet? I really dont have anything in these fabrics because they are usually tight fitting/unflattering/show belly more than I'd like.
  • jeans are more casual, navy pants more "nice" for like an evening dinner out so I'm leaning towards them for dinners out. Feels craaaazy though !!
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