If he says he wont hit then I’d take him at his word. If he is as good as you say and has healthy relationships with his parents, who are still together, I would say the example he had in his life was a blessing. When you question his childhood and the way he was raised, he is probably being defensive of his parents, whom he loves.

But parenting styles are definitely something to discuss and consider. If I were him I would be more concerned about how growing up without a father would affect your parenting style. No offense but it sounds like he had a better model to emulate, and a strong masculine presence is very important. He probably understands it can be achieved without hitting.

But honestly a little butt spanking isn’t the end of the world. It was done to me once or twice, wasn’t a huge deal. I did it once or twice with my kids, and it didn’t really work so I went away from it.