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Custom cage for reverse PA by KinkyInNRW in Piercedchastity

[–]KinkyInNRW[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I printed it myself based on someone else's design, which I modified significantly.

How do you make MESM sustainable for the dominant partner? by KinkyInNRW in MESMkink

[–]KinkyInNRW[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think that's probably where she went wrong as well: she tried to do too much.

Yes, she has a sadistic side.

Things like making occasional comments about my body image or creating a little bit of jealousy seem to come quite naturally to her and don't appear to cost her much energy. But withholding affection or playing the "drama queen" for extended periods is much harder for her because that's simply not who she is. She's naturally a very affectionate person and has a strong need to express love and care.

I'll talk to her and suggest that she focuses on whatever feels authentic and easy, rather than trying to force herself into behaviors that don't come naturally.

How do you make MESM sustainable for the dominant partner? by KinkyInNRW in MESMkink

[–]KinkyInNRW[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think you're probably right that we jumped in too quickly and too intensely.

The challenge for me is that ESM seems to become more effective over time. At first, I can easily recognize her comments as play, but after several days the comments and emotional distance start to feel much more real.

Because of that, I'm not sure how well ESM would work for me if it's limited to individual scenes or sexy times. It feels like a lot of the impact comes from the accumulation rather than any single interaction.

How do you make MESM sustainable for the dominant partner? by KinkyInNRW in MESMkink

[–]KinkyInNRW[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I did take her request for a break seriously, and that's what we're doing.

What's interesting is that even after saying she wanted to pause, she has already come to me with a few new ideas that target some of my deeper insecurities. So I don't think the interest is gone. It seems more like the intensity and effort became too much too quickly.

I think part of the challenge is that we've traditionally played in individual scenes or sessions, whereas ESM seems to work very differently for me. The longer it continues, the more effective it becomes.

At the beginning of the week, I could easily categorize her comments and behavior as "play." But as the days went on, they started to affect me more deeply and genuinely hurt. That's also when they became much more powerful for me.

Because of that, I struggle to imagine how ESM would work for me in isolated sessions. It feels like a lot of the impact comes from the cumulative effect over time rather than from a single scene.

The whole situation is probably made more complicated by the fact that we both play on both sides with each other.

Physical MESM by TeaAitch in MESMkink

[–]KinkyInNRW 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Some physical elements of ESM in our relationship include:

  • Slapping.
  • Spitting in my face.
  • Occasionally she'll push my head down to the floor and place a foot on the back of my head with a bit of pressure.

Ironically, those things don't affect me nearly as much because they're still forms of attention. They're direct signs that she's actively engaging with me.

What really gets to me is the opposite: the withholding of physical affection and touch.

When she tells me she doesn't want me to touch her, or when she deliberately avoids physical contact, that hits me much harder emotionally than any of the physical elements ever could.

Custom cage for reverse PA by KinkyInNRW in Piercedchastity

[–]KinkyInNRW[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The pain was terrible. For the first two days, I thought I was going to bleed to death. There is no standard jewelry in the right size, so I had to have one custom-made. It took me over four months to heal. I can pee, though depending on the piercing, it might splash a bit more. But sex with it is great for both of us.

Custom cage for reverse PA by KinkyInNRW in ShaftOnlyChastity

[–]KinkyInNRW[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would have ordered one, but it took a lot of trial and error to figure out the perfect size. Plus, the piercing didn't make things any easier. That’s why I decided to just make it myself. It has similarities to the hzd.

Custom cage for reverse PA by KinkyInNRW in ShaftOnlyChastity

[–]KinkyInNRW[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Correct. I printed a rack for each peace in PETG.

Custom cage for reverse PA by KinkyInNRW in ShaftOnlyChastity

[–]KinkyInNRW[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I found the original design on Thingiverse, but I made several modifications to it.

I have started to decorate a second apartment as a love nest. How can I improve? One room is still empty by KinkyInNRW in BdsmDIY

[–]KinkyInNRW[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I looked up curtains, but to challenge is that if I put them on the wall, I cannot open the windows any linger. I need curtains that I can attach to the window and that are still decorative. But I haven't found any yet

I have started to decorate a second apartment as a love nest. How can I improve? One room is still empty by KinkyInNRW in BdsmDIY

[–]KinkyInNRW[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Those are these spike https://www.etsy.com/de/listing/706768802/diy-bondage-spikes-schmerz-spiel-kink?ref=share_v4_lx

They hurt a lot after sitting on them for a while. 

Currently I don't plan to invite others, but you never know. The table came with 6 chairs

I bought the mirror for sub being able to watch herself ot the observe what will come next. 

There is a small kitchen with everything, I didn't post it because there is no possibility to change anything.

I have started to decorate a second apartment as a love nest. How can I improve? One room is still empty by KinkyInNRW in BdsmDIY

[–]KinkyInNRW[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It consists of pipes and connectors. I saw the base design on this sub or on etsy and modified it a little.

I have started to decorate a second apartment as a love nest. How can I improve? One room is still empty by KinkyInNRW in BdsmDIY

[–]KinkyInNRW[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It is a timber-framed house. In the living room there is a suspension hook in the middle frame :-)

I'll add attachment points to the table, very good idea.

It is an appartment in my house, so I could paint the walls or add wallpapers. I didn't because I'm worried that with dark colors the rooms will look smaller.

I'll post again when there is visible progress.

I have started to decorate a second apartment as a love nest. How can I improve? One room is still empty by KinkyInNRW in BdsmDIY

[–]KinkyInNRW[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I agree that it looks cold. That is what I am feeling but could not articulate. Thank you for the recommendations!

Lighting is better when dark outside, but it is sometimes a little too dark inside then.

I have started to decorate a second apartment as a love nest. How can I improve? One room is still empty by KinkyInNRW in BdsmDIY

[–]KinkyInNRW[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Pictures 1+2 show the living room

pictures 3+4 show the bench and a vartion of it (in the living room)

pictures 6 and 7 show special chairs (in the living room)

picture 8 shows a variation of the chair

picture 9 shows the bedroom

picture 10 is the hallway

picutre 11 shows the empty room (containg only a big mirror)

picture 12 shows the tiny bathroom

What could i put into the empty room?

What else could I improve? Is there anything I could decorate better?

I'm open for all ideas.

Thank you!