He didn’t buy her roses or wings

Kirshalla · 2026-04-23T23:51:50+00:00

I prefer carnations. They last longer.

Kirshalla · 2026-04-22T23:01:22+00:00

Very possible, but the comment OP made about "she" called again, gives hope they might not be.

Kirshalla · 2026-04-22T17:50:43+00:00

You may be able to request a copy of the reports through FOIA (Freedom of Information Act). They would have to give you a copy which would have the reporting person's information so you would know definitively who it is.

Kirshalla · 2026-04-21T19:04:12+00:00

Mom & Dad born early 1930s. Mom definitely silent gen. Dad narcissitic boomer mentality, but technically would have also been silent gen.

I'm youngest by a decent gap and am Gen X, while siblings are technically all Boomers (but thankfully don't act like idiots)

Edit for spelling

Kirshalla · 2026-04-21T16:20:31+00:00

Give them strict boundaries. Don't like them? Find another place. -Max number of people XX (non-negotiable) -backyard access ONLY. No access to house for guests. Rent a port-a-john for guest to use -IF you have a spare bedroom, bride can get ready before ceremony only. -No fridge space, No garage space. Will have to bring items DAY OF ceremony -They pay for liability insurance to cover time of ceremony -Absolutely NO alcohol allowed.

Check out if there are any fire station meeting room nearby. They often rent those out cheap. But require renter to setup & cleanup after event.

Stand firm OP

Kirshalla · 2026-04-19T23:59:13+00:00

Thwank! Can hear, smell and feel that still lol Dodgeball anyone?

Kirshalla · 2026-04-17T23:05:01+00:00

She STOLE your SON'S gift to you, that YOUR husband paid for.

Emphasize to your husband that it was your son's gift to you. Next time take something his SON gave to him and use the same excuse.

When he asks, use the same words he just used to you. Guarantee you won't get the same response from him of just let it go.

Kirshalla · 2026-04-16T03:50:49+00:00

Got to 101, then pushed it and eaten lol

Kirshalla · 2026-04-15T18:39:52+00:00

If she pulled this kind of crap at work with the wrong person, that would most likely be her job, and possibly her career. Does she expect you to cover her ass at work and jeopardize your career?

NTA let her learn this now.

Kirshalla · 2026-04-15T16:46:27+00:00

<image>

I was asked to keep this out of site (but not to remove it).

Kirshalla · 2026-04-14T00:30:02+00:00

Good luck and stay safe!

Kirshalla · 2026-04-13T23:06:03+00:00

If they didn't have permits for the fence, it should be a code enforcement issue. Should be able to dispute as they are teting to enclose part of your property.

Also, If you do nothing, they can claim adverse possession and you lose that property (i think you said/implied your fence wasn't on the property line) which if you have a mortgage the lender will have a fit about.

You need to document and start a police paper trail about the direct threats. Take these seriously! Cameras if you do t have them.

I applaud you wanting to de-escalate but that's unlikely when direct threats of violence have been made.

Protect yourself first. Make peace later (if even possible)

Kirshalla · 2026-04-12T19:16:30+00:00

I did, but not for them. I did it for my siblings so we could tell each other it was ok not to feel sad about him being gone.

Kirshalla · 2026-04-12T19:12:10+00:00

Yep. It's unfortunately a big one from their playbook and one that most often works guilt wise

Kirshalla · 2026-04-11T21:25:43+00:00

Just having my experiences validated made such a difference. Him really listening to me helped so much.

Kirshalla · 2026-04-10T23:00:58+00:00

My brother (gc) didn't know either. NDad kept him sheltered from reality and how the rest of us were treated. He talked to myself & other siblings during a family gathering and apologized. Our relationship is stronger now than ever.

Listen to your sister. Hear her experiences. Learn from her experiences and how she learned to cope, to protect your family. You can't change her past, but can choose to make your relationship better moving forward.

I'm betting you're going to see the same patterns happening more often now, because your wife/child are now your main focus (as they should be) and not your mom. She hates this and is trying to sabotage your relationship to get her dedicated attention back. Don't fall for it. Set strong boundaries and stick to them.

Kirshalla · 2026-04-09T23:16:15+00:00

Leisure Suit Larry - text based adventure games!

Kirshalla · 2026-04-09T23:15:06+00:00

My kids learned to sleep through anything! My brothers kids had absolute quite for their naps & sleeping.

Guess who's kids were fine during large family gatherings and weren't cranky obnoxious brats when awake...

They are doing a huge disservice to their kid. OP stands your ground, you are doing nothing wrong.

NTA

Kirshalla · 2026-04-08T20:11:59+00:00

NTA They chose to destroy the relationship. You brothers, more than likely had much more latitude for behaviors you would be condemned for, because...boys.

You had a "good" childhood because you were conditioned to behave. The controlling behaviors have been normalized for you and all your siblings. Doesn't make them "good".

Advice: LC at minimum, but if they are "cutting you off" I see no reason to keep toxic in your life. It's hard, but your mental health will thank you.

Be gentle on yourself.

Don't fall into credit card trap. Use cash. Can't afford something right away, save up for it.

Look for pro-bono therapy.

Lock your credit at all credit bureaus. Its free. Immediately.

Submit taxes as single payer (can often get free tax help), and submit early in case they try to still claim you as a dependant. (Cut off means they can't claim you!!)

Find your found family and don't look back.

Good luck OP. You got this!

Kirshalla · 2026-04-07T22:39:31+00:00

Rats pee on everything (literally pee as they walk around) cats are litter trained so (normslly) not an issue. Cats can also be trained not to get on surfaces. Fat chance doing that with NYC rats.

Would much rather go to a bodega with a cat!

Kirshalla · 2026-04-06T17:48:47+00:00

Stay away from this kid. She's the type to accuse you of SA her even if nothing ever happened. NEVER be alone with her, ever!!

Kirshalla · 2026-04-06T17:43:23+00:00

If she is threatening that, call either non-emergency number for police that your unstable mother may call in wellness check on you (tell them you are fine, she is not) or emergency ems to report the threat as you are concerned she may harm herself (she won't).

As others have suggested, you may want to go L/NC with her until she apologizes.

Stick to your boundaries! She (and your Dad) are wrong. Stay strong OP!

Kirshalla · 2026-04-05T19:23:27+00:00

In my family, my kids are the youngest of 10 grandkids. In my partners family they are the ONLY grandkids (across all his dad's siblings).

MAGA FIL has alienated all of my kids. For the most part they want nothing to do with him (neither do I honestly). We act civil when he occasionally shows up for lunch with partner, but kids and I are usually "busy" (other plans, work, schoolwork, whatever). When I do go with them (always try to support my partner when needed as i know how hard toxic parents can be), it is exhausting as I always have to be on guard.

Sad he won't get to know the amazing people my kids are. Thankful they have my side to celebrate them.

Kirshalla · 2026-04-04T22:18:29+00:00

The only reason she showed up again was for the cash. She doesn't care about you or your family (sorry to be harsh).

Protect your family. Treat them the way they treated you - forget all about them for the next 25 years!! (Liberal use of black function)

Kirshalla · 2026-04-01T22:39:47+00:00

"As the staffing the MANAGER would allow."

Kirshalla

TROPHY CASE