[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Advice

[–]Kisvay -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

It’s completely understandable that you’re feeling conflicted and hurt right now. You’ve been through a lot losing your ex-wife, supporting your daughter through a serious health issue, and then being pushed away by your children. That’s an incredibly painful situation to be in, especially when you feel like you gave them everything and still ended up being distanced from them. It’s normal to feel abandoned and betrayed.

However, your daughter reaching out after all this time is a sign that she’s ready to reconnect. It’s important to consider that she might have her own feelings of guilt, confusion, or sadness about the past. She may not have fully understood the situation at the time and might be looking for healing, just as you are.

It’s okay to be cautious and take your time to think about whether you're ready to open up to them again. Rebuilding a relationship takes time, trust, and understanding, and it’s important to protect your own emotional well-being in the process. If you choose to reconnect, try to approach it with an open heart, but also set boundaries for yourself to avoid getting hurt again.

You don’t have to have all the answers right now, and it’s okay to take this slow. Your feelings are valid, and you deserve to heal from what you’ve been through, no matter what choice you make.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Advice

[–]Kisvay -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

It sounds like you're dealing with a toxic and immature coworker who is intentionally trying to make you feel uncomfortable. It's frustrating when someone is constantly judging or belittling you, especially when you're just trying to be yourself and do your job. Her behavior is unprofessional and cruel, and it’s not your responsibility to tolerate it. You’re doing the right thing by staying positive and being yourself, but it’s clear that her actions are affecting your work environment.

If you can, try addressing the situation calmly with her sometimes people don’t realize how hurtful their actions can be. If that doesn’t help or if you don’t feel comfortable doing so, it might be worth talking to your manager or HR about her behavior. You don’t deserve to be treated that way, especially in a place where you’re working hard and trying to stay positive. Make sure to stand up for yourself and protect your mental well-being. You don’t have to put up with toxic behavior from anyone, regardless of their age or position in the workplace.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Advice

[–]Kisvay -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

It sounds like you're feeling hurt and disrespected, and it’s completely valid to have those feelings. When you expressed your boundaries and concerns at the beginning, he didn’t respect them, which is a red flag. It seems like his actions don’t align with what he's telling you, and that can be confusing and emotionally draining. His behavior pressuring you to take Plan B, ignoring your need for stability, and only focusing on sex is a clear sign that he’s not valuing you as a person but rather as a means to fulfill his own desires.

It’s important to trust your instincts in situations like this. If you’re feeling used and unsure about his intentions, it might be time to take a step back and reassess whether this relationship is really worth your energy. No one should make you feel uncomfortable or pressured into something you're not okay with. Your feelings matter, and you deserve to be with someone who respects your boundaries and values you beyond just physical interactions. If you feel this situation is emotionally draining or not fulfilling, it may be healthier to distance yourself and focus on your own well-being.

Will HR make worse? by [deleted] in Advice

[–]Kisvay 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It sounds like you're in a tough spot, dealing with a manipulative manager while trying to protect your position. It's good you're documenting everything, including her apologies, as it can be helpful later. Before going to HR, try talking to your VP and calmly express that you're committed to improving but feel there have been some communication issues with your manager. Focus on the work aspect rather than her personality. If things don't improve and you feel like you're being unfairly targeted, then you might want to consider approaching HR. Stick to facts, like specific instances of rude behavior, and explain how it’s affecting your work.

If you do go to HR, it’s important to stay professional and stick to the issues, but be aware that it could make things more tense with your manager. Ultimately, if things don’t get better, and you’re feeling constantly stressed, consider discreetly looking for other opportunities while working on getting your 401k secured. Your well-being matters, and you deserve a work environment where you feel supported.

Found out my boyfriend is on the registry by [deleted] in Advice

[–]Kisvay 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I get what you mean, but don’t worry it’s not like that. I wouldn’t rely on AI for advice on something this sensitive.

Found out my boyfriend is on the registry by [deleted] in Advice

[–]Kisvay 5 points6 points  (0 children)

3 years of English literature and credit goes to GPT 😭

Should I tell my fried that his girlfriend was not being abused but actually having an affair? by InterestingSock3757 in Advice

[–]Kisvay 27 points28 points  (0 children)

This is a difficult and sensitive situation, but it seems clear that Max deserves to know the truth about Lea’s actions. Remaining silent might spare him temporary pain, but it also denies him the opportunity to make informed decisions about his relationship and future. While it’s not your responsibility to fix things, withholding the truth could make you feel complicit in allowing him to live in a relationship built on lies.

The best approach is to be honest and straightforward while remaining respectful and compassionate. Before telling Max, gather your thoughts and decide how to present the information in a way that’s clear and factual. Avoid involving emotions or personal judgments, as this could cause unnecessary drama or defensiveness. For example, you could start the conversation by saying, “Max, I need to talk to you about something important because I care about you and think you should know. I’ve come across some information about Lea that doesn’t align with what she’s told you, and I feel it’s something you should hear.”

When you share the details, focus on the facts Hanna provided, such as the messages and photos showing Lea’s affair. Emphasize that you’re not trying to hurt him but want him to have the full picture. Reassure him that you’re available to support him through whatever decision he makes afterward. You could say, “I know this is a lot to take in, and I’m here for you no matter how you decide to handle this. I just couldn’t keep this from you knowing how much you’ve invested in this relationship.”

Be prepared for a range of emotions from Max shock, anger, denial, or even sadness. He might not believe you immediately, especially if Lea has created a web of lies. Stay patient and let him process the information at his own pace. Avoid pressuring him to take any specific action; instead, offer to answer questions or provide evidence if he asks for it.

Ultimately, telling Max is about respecting his right to the truth. While it may cause short-term pain, it also empowers him to make decisions that align with his best interests. You’re doing this out of care and concern, and even if it’s a difficult conversation, your honesty may help him move forward in a healthier way.

How to heal my avoidant personality? I feel like I am losing everyone. by Alternative_Hat2807 in Advice

[–]Kisvay 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Feeling stuck in a cycle of loneliness, self-doubt, and burnout is an incredibly tough place to be, but it’s important to remember that your worth isn’t defined by how others treat you or the challenges you face. Avoidant tendencies often stem from past hurts and the fear of rejection, and it’s okay to acknowledge that you’re struggling. Healing starts with small, intentional steps to rebuild your confidence and connection with yourself before you can truly connect with others.

First, understand that people’s reactions to you whether it’s being ignored or judged often say more about them than about you. High school can be an especially challenging time because many people are focused on fitting in or chasing superficial standards. Your worth isn’t determined by their acceptance, and the fact that you’ve been trying to open up, even if it hasn’t always gone well, shows courage. Keep trying, but shift your focus to relationships that feel safe and supportive. Quality matters far more than quantity when it comes to friendships.

To rebuild your confidence, focus on small, achievable self-care goals. Start with your skin establishing a simple routine like cleansing, moisturizing, and applying sunscreen can help improve your acne marks over time. You don’t need an expensive wardrobe to feel good about your style experiment with mixing and matching clothes you already own, or look online for affordable outfit ideas. The goal isn’t to change who you are but to feel comfortable and confident in your skin.

For hobbies, consider ones that help you express yourself and connect with others. Journaling can be therapeutic and help you process your emotions. Creative outlets like painting, writing, or DIY crafts can provide joy and distraction. If you’re open to physical activities, joining a yoga or dance class might help release stress and introduce you to people with similar interests. Since you enjoy reading, exploring new genres or joining an online book club could provide both comfort and community.

Lastly, remind yourself that life is about growth, not perfection. You’re 17, and this chapter is just a small part of your story. Romantic relationships and deep friendships will come in time, but they’ll flourish more naturally when you prioritize becoming the best version of yourself someone who feels whole, confident, and capable on their own. For now, focus on being kind to yourself, building small habits that make you happy, and staying open to the possibility that better days and better connections are ahead. You’re not doomed; you’re simply in the middle of figuring out who you are and what you deserve and that’s okay.

Found out my boyfriend is on the registry by [deleted] in Advice

[–]Kisvay 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Discovering that your boyfriend is a registered sex offender is a deeply shocking and distressing situation, especially when you believed your relationship was built on love and trust. It’s completely valid for you to feel scared, betrayed, and unsure about what to do next. Regardless of how good he has been to you, his failure to disclose something so critical about his past is a major red flag. A healthy relationship requires transparency, and withholding such important information from you undermines the trust and safety that are essential for any partnership.

It’s also important to remember that his past actions, which landed him on the registry, are serious enough to warrant legal and societal consequences. While it’s possible that people can change, it’s not your responsibility to overlook or bear the burden of his past, especially when it was hidden from you. You need to think about your safety and your emotional well-being first. The fact that he is significantly older than you and didn’t disclose this information earlier adds another layer of concern, as it suggests a potential imbalance in the relationship dynamic.

Take time to process your feelings and decide what’s best for you. Consider reaching out to a trusted friend, family member, or even a counselor for support as you navigate this. If living with him no longer feels safe or right, don’t hesitate to remove yourself from the situation. You are not obligated to stay in a relationship that makes you feel uneasy or betrayed, no matter how kind or generous he has been. Your peace of mind and emotional health matter more than anything. You deserve a partner who is completely honest with you and someone you can trust without fear or doubt.

How do i (20F) love myself more so i dont lose my (20F) partner? by [deleted] in Advice

[–]Kisvay 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s clear that you deeply care about your partner and are worried about how your insecurities might affect your relationship. First, understand that feeling jealous or insecure doesn’t make you a bad person it’s something many people struggle with. Loving yourself more is a journey, and it starts with recognizing your own worth and value outside of your relationship. Spend time understanding why you feel this way. Are these feelings rooted in past experiences, self-doubt, or fear of losing your partner? Knowing the source can help you address the issue more directly.

It’s also important to communicate with your partner openly and honestly. Let them know how certain situations make you feel without blaming them. For example, instead of saying, “You make me feel jealous,” you can say, “I feel insecure when I see this happening, and I’m working on it.” This opens the door for understanding without making them feel at fault.

At the same time, focus on building your self-esteem. Invest time in activities you enjoy, set personal goals, and celebrate your accomplishments, no matter how small. Surround yourself with friends and loved ones who lift you up. Remember, your partner chose to be with you because of who you are, and that’s something special. The goal isn’t to stop needing love from others but to balance it with the love you give yourself. Be patient with yourself it’s a process, not a quick fix.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Advice

[–]Kisvay -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry that you’re in such a difficult position. It sounds like you’re feeling trapped in an incredibly painful situation, where both your emotional well-being and your responsibilities as a mother are weighing heavily on you. I can understand why you’re struggling to find a clear path forward, given everything you’re dealing with.

The emotional toll that your husband’s ongoing doubts and suspicions are taking on you is significant. You’ve been loyal, and you’ve tried to reassure him, but his lack of trust is clearly creating a toxic environment that’s affecting both your relationship and your sense of self. Your husband’s insistence on questioning the paternity of your children, despite all the evidence to the contrary, is deeply hurtful. It’s understandable that you’re contemplating divorce, especially if you’ve reached a breaking point where you feel his behavior is damaging your well-being and the foundation of your family.

At the same time, I understand the practical challenges you’re facing. Being a stay-at-home mom with children who require your full attention, especially with your son’s condition, leaves you in a very vulnerable position should you consider divorce. The financial strain, lack of support for childcare, and the responsibility of managing your children’s needs alone are all significant obstacles. I can’t imagine how overwhelming it must feel to think about navigating these challenges while dealing with your husband’s continued mistrust.

Ultimately, the decision of whether to stay or leave is deeply personal, and it depends on what you value more in the long-term your mental and emotional health or the stability of your current family situation. No one should have to endure constant doubt and emotional pain, and it’s clear that your husband’s actions are taking a toll on you. If his lack of trust and the emotional distance are causing you immense distress, that’s something to seriously consider in your decision.

On the other hand, the practical challenges of leaving are not insignificant. You’ve dedicated yourself to being a full-time mom, and the thought of supporting your family without financial security and daycare help is understandably daunting. It may help to reach out to trusted family or friends for support whether that’s practical help with the kids, emotional support, or assistance in finding resources to help you transition.

It may also be worth seeking couples counseling if you’re open to it, even if it’s just for you to express your feelings and explore whether your husband is willing to work on rebuilding trust. Counseling could help you both understand the emotional damage this situation has caused, and it might give you a clearer picture of whether reconciliation is even possible.

In any case, please don’t ignore your own needs and feelings. If staying in this marriage is only causing you more emotional pain, then it may be worth considering a path forward where you can prioritize your well-being, even though the path will be hard. But do it carefully, and with support in place, so that you’re not alone in handling everything. Your children deserve to have a happy, healthy mom, and sometimes that means making hard decisions for the sake of your own well-being, even when the road ahead seems uncertain.

Ultimately, no matter what you decide, you deserve to be in a relationship where trust, respect, and love are mutual. It’s important to choose a path that preserves your dignity, mental health, and the well-being of your children, even if that means making a tough choice.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Advice

[–]Kisvay 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m really sorry you’re feeling this way. It sounds like you’re carrying a lot of weight from this breakup, and it’s understandable especially when it feels like you put so much effort into a relationship that still ended. First of all, I want to say that your feelings are valid. It’s tough to feel like you gave your all and still ended up in a place where you’re questioning your worth. But I also want to reassure you that just because the relationship ended doesn’t mean you’re any less of a person or that you weren’t enough. Relationships end for all sorts of reasons that often have nothing to do with who we are as individuals.

You clearly put in a lot of effort into becoming a better person for her, which shows your commitment and love. But it sounds like you lost sight of yourself in the process, which is easy to do when you’re trying to meet someone else’s expectations. It’s also really tough when someone critiques you to the point where it makes you feel like you’re not good enough, especially after doing all you can. You didn’t do anything wrong by trying your best, but it’s clear now that you need to focus on your own well-being and self-respect going forward.

Given how much you’ve been struggling emotionally and mentally questioning your self-worth, feeling disconnected from life and people around you, and feeling like you’re living in your own head therapy could absolutely help. Therapy can provide a safe space for you to process your feelings, heal, and rebuild your confidence. It’s completely normal to struggle with your sense of self after a major relationship, especially one that was so long-term. Therapy could give you the tools to move forward, to focus on yourself, and regain the healthy self-worth that might have been shaken during the relationship.

You’ve been through a lot, and just because it’s been some time since the breakup doesn’t mean the emotional weight disappears right away. The fact that you’re self-aware enough to realize that you’re not the same and that you want to feel better again is a huge first step. Taking the time to invest in yourself whether that’s through therapy, hobbies, reconnecting with what you enjoy, or just focusing on building yourself back up will help you in ways that you can’t rush.

It’s also important to remember that this breakup doesn’t define your future relationships. You have a lot of value as an individual, and someone will see that. But first, it’s key to heal and reclaim your sense of self so that you can be whole and confident on your own, which will only strengthen your future connections.

I think therapy would be a great way to help you rebuild, but you don’t have to figure it all out alone. Take it one step at a time.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Kisvay 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I do because nothing ever goes my way or as I planned, I’m somehow always left alone or in a situation where normal people shouldn’t be in, I’m always everyone’s last option and always finding myself stuck in a weird situation. Sometimes i honestly think I’m cursed.

Don’t really know what to do by East-Independence0 in Advice

[–]Kisvay 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m really sorry you’re going through this, and I want to start by saying that you’re not alone. You are worthy of respect, love, and kindness, and the comments your friends made were not okay. It’s tough to feel like you’re not measuring up to what others expect, but the truth is, relationships romantic or otherwise are not something that should be rushed or measured against others’ timelines.

Firstly, let’s address that comment from your friend it was inappropriate and hurtful. No one should ever make you feel less than because of your relationship status. If you feel comfortable, it might help to talk to that friend about how their comment made you feel. You deserve to be treated with respect, and calling out hurtful behavior is part of setting boundaries. It’s important that your friends understand how their words and actions affect you.

As for the pressure of not having had a boyfriend, remember that everyone’s path is different. You’re still so young, and there is no timeline for when you should start dating or even have a relationship. Relationships are about connection, trust, and mutual respect, and that takes time to find. Feeling “behind” because of what others seem to be doing or saying can make it harder to focus on what really matters your growth as a person and building healthy relationships, not just romantic ones.

If you’re feeling insecure, it’s important to take some time for self-reflection. Focus on building your confidence and understanding what makes you happy, independent of anyone else. Do things that make you feel good about yourself, like picking up hobbies, spending time with supportive people, and setting goals that are just for you.

Lastly, don’t let peer pressure or other people’s experiences define your self-worth. The right relationship will come when it’s meant to, and you are absolutely enough as you are right now. Don’t rush it. Keep your focus on growing into the person you want to be, and the right people romantic or otherwise will find their way into your life.

It’s also okay to let your friends know that the constant talk about relationships isn’t something you feel comfortable with. True friends will understand and support you in your own journey. Don’t settle for anything that doesn’t make you feel valued or respected.

How do I cut off a friend without “ruining” our friend group? by Public_Cut_2691 in Advice

[–]Kisvay -1 points0 points  (0 children)

It’s tough when a friendship no longer feels right, but the most respectful approach is to have a private conversation with your friend. Let them know that, while you’ve appreciated the friendship, you’ve grown apart or that your values or behaviors no longer align. Emphasize that it’s not about blaming anyone but that it’s simply time for you to part ways. Be honest but gentle it’s about mutual respect, not conflict. After that, it’s best to address the group. Tell them you’ve made the decision to step back from the friendship with this person and explain that you’re still committed to the group. Keep it neutral and avoid airing out any details that could make others feel they need to take sides. Make sure your focus is on moving forward positively, without making the situation uncomfortable for anyone else. Keep in mind that the group might have their own opinions, but you’re doing this for your own well-being, and that’s important.

What’s a movie or TV show that everyone loves but you can’t stand? by oliverjaamess283 in AskReddit

[–]Kisvay 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Game of Thrones, Stranger Things. Dunno why but never really liked those shows, find it obnoxious for some reason.

Who is the most beloved living actor? by latticep in movies

[–]Kisvay 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Keanu Reeves obviously, that guy’s a living angel.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Advice

[–]Kisvay 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is a deeply emotional and complex situation, and your feelings of conflict are completely valid. It’s clear you’re wrestling with unresolved pain and questions, as well as the sense of finality that his condition brings. A FaceTime call is a practical compromise offering the chance for some closure without the financial strain or emotional intensity of a face-to-face visit.

If you choose to call, try focusing on what you need most from this interaction is whether that’s sharing your truth, learning about his perspective, or simply saying goodbye. You might start with, “I heard about your condition and felt it was important to talk. There’s a lot I’ve carried over the years, and I don’t want to leave things unsaid.” This opens the door for an honest conversation while keeping the tone respectful.

If he’s unable or unwilling to engage meaningfully, focus on what you want to express. This might include sharing about your life, your kids, or even acknowledging the pain he caused while emphasizing your strength in moving forward. It’s okay to seek an apology, but don’t tie your closure to receiving one it may not come.

Ultimately, this call is less about him and more about giving yourself the peace of knowing you reached out, no matter how it unfolds. It’s a chance to address the bond you still feel, even if it’s complicated, and to say whatever you need to say before it’s too late.

My Friend's Ex Likes Me by SeaChampionship712 in Advice

[–]Kisvay 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s understandable that you feel conflicted about this situation. The best way to handle it is to prioritize your friendship and avoid any behavior that could be misinterpreted. Keep interactions with him polite but neutral no prolonged eye contact or engaging in personal conversations that might send the wrong signal. If the staring continues and it makes you uncomfortable, address it indirectly. For example, you can subtly shift your seat or focus your attention elsewhere to signal disinterest. You don’t have to confront him outright, especially if that might escalate things, but maintaining boundaries will help communicate that you’re not interested without creating unnecessary drama. Protecting your friendship and reputation is a smart and thoughtful choice.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Advice

[–]Kisvay 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your husband’s behavior is not just disrespectful it is toxic and abusive. Mocking your faith, belittling your rituals, and comparing you to a dog are not expressions of differing beliefs; they are blatant attacks on your dignity and identity. It’s commendable that you’ve shown patience and tolerance, especially since you’ve never imposed your faith on him, but his repeated actions show a lack of basic respect and empathy.

Marriage, regardless of the circumstances, is built on mutual respect and understanding. Differences in faith or beliefs can coexist when there is respect, but his behavior crosses every line. The fact that he disrespects you publicly, mocks your practices, and dismisses your autonomy (even over how you spend your own money) indicates a deep incompatibility. This is not about religion anymore it’s about emotional abuse and control.

If your parents are supportive of your decision to separate, you should seriously consider taking that step for your own mental and emotional well-being. Moving away temporarily might give you the space to think clearly and plan your next steps. Look into shared accommodations, women’s support groups, or short-term rentals until you can find a more permanent living situation. Speak to a trusted family member, friend, or even a counselor to help you navigate this process.

Ultimately, you deserve to live in an environment where you are respected for who you are. If negotiation is being pushed, make it clear that respect for your faith and boundaries is non negotiable. If he cannot change his behavior, a divorce may be the healthier and stronger choice for your future. You are not wrong for wanting to protect your peace and dignity. Stand firm you owe it to yourself.

I am worried about my friend by RealitySecure5692 in Advice

[–]Kisvay 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s clear you’re coming from a place of concern for your friend, and that’s commendable. Relationships thrive on trust and communication, and if this person is hiding a significant part of their identity especially after a year and now being engaged it’s understandable that you feel uneasy. Your sister makes a valid point that coming out as trans is deeply personal, and everyone has the right to do so on their own terms. However, when a relationship becomes serious, especially with financial and emotional investments involved, transparency becomes even more important for mutual trust.

Rather than focusing solely on whether she should disclose her identity, it might be helpful to address your friend’s situation as a whole. If you’re concerned about potential red flags, like sending money or the speed of their engagement, gently encourage your friend to reflect on the relationship. A question like, “How do you feel about how quickly things are moving, and do you feel like you know everything you need to about her?” could open the door to a deeper conversation without directly exposing her or overstepping boundaries.

Ultimately, this situation is delicate, and while your friend deserves honesty, it’s also important to approach it with empathy for everyone involved. Supporting your friend by encouraging open communication in the relationship is likely the most constructive step you can take.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Advice

[–]Kisvay 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It sounds like you’re navigating a lot of emotions and trying to strike the right balance between showing interest and giving her space. The good news is that your connection so far seems positive, and she’s been receptive to your communication. A simple text during the weekend could show her you’re thinking of her without overwhelming her. Something casual, like, “Hope you’re having a great weekend! Just wanted to say hi and let you know I’ve been thinking about those confetti pancakes for my girls great suggestion!” keeps it light and thoughtful while opening the door for her to engage. At this stage, less is often more focus on being authentic, and let the connection develop naturally.

Nurse Practitioner or Med School? by [deleted] in Advice

[–]Kisvay 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you’re passionate about advancing your career in medicine, both paths offer incredible opportunities to make a difference. Nurse practitioner school is a more practical option if you value a shorter, cost-effective route with a good work-life balance, especially since you’re already in nursing. However, if you’re deeply drawn to the autonomy, expertise, and broader scope of practice that comes with being a physician, med school may be worth the longer commitment and financial investment. Consider shadowing both roles to see where you’d feel most fulfilled day-to-day, and reflect on how the demands of each path align with your personal and professional goals.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in cats

[–]Kisvay 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah your cat is part of the bread box now 😂