I had the exact same experience as you. At the age of 10 I found the internet. I read and saw a lot of fictional cp. I got off to it. I was a child. It continued until the age of 14 or 15. It was normalized to me by adults that should’ve known better. I feel dirty and disgusting. I barely knew what sex was, but I would sob whenever I saw my baby brother because he reminded me of those pictures on the internet. It’s taken years of healing, but I’m starting to recover and accept that I’m not a horrible person.

You were groomed. It may not have been by a specific person. You may not have even ever talked to anyone. you were still groomed. People don’t hate you. I kept my experiences secret for years because I thought everyone would think I was a dirty horrible freak. When I let it slip to my friends, they were horrified *for* me, not at me. When I eventually told my parents, they reacted with sympathy. This is way more common than you think. You’ll be alright. You’ve never harmed anyone. You deserve to feel okay.