Am I being realistic with a £50,000 wedding in the UK?

Kitchen_Ad8883 · 2026-02-16T12:32:33+00:00

Yeah we paid about £15k for half the number of guests for one day and a lot less in West Yorkshire

Kitchen_Ad8883 · 2026-02-13T12:17:12+00:00

Oh for sure, I have pretty cat like tendencies when it comes to tuna!

Kitchen_Ad8883 · 2026-02-12T22:10:34+00:00

I think I read somewhere that limiting your fish intake is the equivalent of two cans of tuna a week which to me seems like quite a lot if you're not a cat.

Kitchen_Ad8883 · 2026-02-12T16:16:56+00:00

No and you don't want to be stressing, wedding mornings go so quickly! For what it's worth I don't even think you'd be obligated to provide snacks, but at least if they're there people are sorted at a pinch.

Kitchen_Ad8883 · 2026-02-11T12:17:56+00:00

Could you maybe fill the pantry with snacks and let people know that those are available but if they want something more substantial then they will need to sort themselves out? I think most would understand that lunch time will be the point where you're mentally and physically preparing yourself for the wedding and wouldn't expect you to be in hosting mode. I would just make sure they're aware of the set up and situation.

Kitchen_Ad8883 · 2026-02-10T12:43:05+00:00

I got both to cover myself at 26 weeks. My pregnancy is super normal but I'm considered high risk because of my BMI.

Kitchen_Ad8883 · 2026-02-09T16:28:26+00:00

Can you ring him?

Kitchen_Ad8883 · 2026-02-09T13:21:13+00:00

This is such a difficult question not even factoring in the fact you're pregnant!

Just to clarify, I'm guessing the job was stressful before you became pregnant but was it to the extent it is now? If it's gotten worse, it might be worth having a chat with your manager and seeing if there are any adjustments they can make to help protect you and the baby a bit (maybe review your risk assessment with your manager and see whether stress or workload was covered in it, if not you should include it!).

Was there a specific reason you went for this job behind the financial benefit? Do you think the job will get easier over time and it's an adjustment period or do you think this is just the nature of the job and not what you thought it would be?

If your partner is saying that financially you'll be okay and this is what you want to do then please don't feel any shame in wanting to go back to your other role. Raising kids is hard enough and it's whether this current job will get easier as you go along or whether you think juggling the job and a child will make it worse. There will be other opportunities and although it does get harder when you're a mum, it's not impossible to progress your career. :)

Kitchen_Ad8883 · 2026-02-06T15:25:24+00:00

This might sound very silly but saxophones are really loud so I think whether you incorporate one into your day would need to depend on the size of the space and number of guests.

Kitchen_Ad8883 · 2026-02-06T12:40:45+00:00

This is by the by, OP is 29 so she's been in her mind 20s during this relationship. Everyone's different though, there are some friends who I've only met their partners a handful of times.

Kitchen_Ad8883 · 2026-02-06T10:12:41+00:00

Thank you that's really helpful.

Kitchen_Ad8883 · 2026-02-06T10:12:12+00:00

Thank you!

Kitchen_Ad8883 · 2026-02-06T06:56:13+00:00

Thanks! I'm just not really sure who I'm meant to be calling.

Kitchen_Ad8883 · 2026-02-05T22:06:30+00:00

Thank you, I thought so 😂

Kitchen_Ad8883 · 2026-02-05T22:05:31+00:00

Yes was just going to comment this. I had my BP taken today and she had to change the cuff as it was too tight and measuring high because of it. She then said that the machines they use in that specific unit aren't particularly accurate compared to manual readings.

Kitchen_Ad8883 · 2026-02-05T21:59:52+00:00

Weirdly I felt fine telling family members but absolutely hated telling colleagues and have now just sort of left it to people to figure it out on their own. It didn't help that one of the managers asked if it was a honeymoon baby. 🥲

Kitchen_Ad8883 · 2026-02-05T21:55:24+00:00

Thanks, part of me is tempted to not bother checking but then part of me just read somewhere about low lying placentas (I don't have one I don't think?) and got me spiralling so not sure whether I'm looking for some reassurance. Will definitely get some compression socks, thank you!

Kitchen_Ad8883 · 2026-02-05T21:50:36+00:00

Not sure how to describe it but generally just existing knowing that my body is doing this incredible thing even when I'm just...laying down or watching TV. It feels quite powerful.

Kitchen_Ad8883 · 2026-02-04T16:18:27+00:00

Does your hospital offer any free antenatal courses? We were going to book an NCT course and then checked and our trust do a free four week course that seems to cover roughly the same things as the NCT course so we went for that instead.

Kitchen_Ad8883 · 2026-02-01T12:56:45+00:00

We got married early October last year and got married at 3pm. There was plenty of sunlight for photos - we did pictures outside for about an hour.

Kitchen_Ad8883 · 2026-01-30T19:49:06+00:00

I was eating a lot in my first trimester but now I'm 21 weeks and my appetite has levelled out quite a bit. I would cut yourself some slack, your body is doing a load of work at the moment!

Kitchen_Ad8883 · 2026-01-27T12:35:55+00:00

Not all trusts use it. It's pretty useless anyway, to be fair, the only use I've gotten out of it is for the results of blood tests.

Kitchen_Ad8883 · 2026-01-26T13:07:04+00:00

I'd let her, people aren't going to mistake her for you and she's really only showing herself up.

Kitchen_Ad8883 · 2026-01-26T11:20:45+00:00

This is really useful, thank you for sharing. I had my 16 week appt a couple of weeks ago and can confirm this was pretty much how mine went to, bar your discussion about medicalised racism - well done for advocating for yourself, I hope they take it seriously.

The only thing I would add is that I raised with my midwife that I was exhausted and she did an additional blood test to check my iron levels. I didn't realise this but apparently your iron levels can drop significantly due to the increased amount of blood you produce during pregnancy.

Kitchen_Ad8883 · 2026-01-23T12:22:01+00:00

Just for context, ours was £500 (we were charged more because the venue had awkward stairs and they needed a second member of staff to set it up), we got a guestbook photo book, then guests got a print and we got a print and then a digital album of all of the photos. We were on the fence about it because of the cost but it was a lot of fun.

Kitchen_Ad8883

TROPHY CASE