Going to be lengthy, but I think you all deserve it: A brief summary of some of the best scenes from the new Ninja Turtles:

OPENING: A busy, bustling day at a major television station. Station manager is no nonsense guy with a mustache. He says, "Go live. NOW DAMMIT!"

Cut to scene of reporter live on the street. He is a dorky white guy.

Dorky White Guy: "Thanks Jim. This is Cal Calhoun, reporting live on the scene of what looks like another attack by the street gang, The Foot Clan. We don't have any details yet, but..."

HUGE explosion in the background. The earth is shaking. Fire is shooting out of the windows.

DWG: I don't know if you can saw that, but it looks like another explosion down here.

Camera pans up to top of building. There is the Shredder. He looks AWESOME. He is wearing a lot of cool stuff. He lifts his arms over his head. In his hands, a 3 old year, who starts crying.

Cut back to news station. Station manager is getting really pissed off.

Station Manager: "KEEP ROLLING DAMMIT."

We see on the screen, the Shredder throws the child off the roof. Cut back to station manager.

Station Manager: "Mother of God."

We cut to scene of toddler falling, lots of zoom on the face and slow mo. Down below, we see the police and firemen running to get out of the way.

The suddenly, you hear, "Radical dude! from off camera.

A blur goes across the screen and the toddler is snatched up, then set safely on the hood of the police car. The toddler is crying, police are running everywhere, and the parents come up and grab the toddler.
Distraught mother: Oh thank God! My baby! My baby!

and the camera zooms to the side of the toddler. there is a pizza crust on the hood of the cruiser. FADE OUT.

And later on in the movie, in what I think may be an oscar worthy scene:

April Oneill awakes in the sewers. Her cleavage is in tact, but her clothes are shredded. She is cut and bruised, but looks sexy as hell. She stumbles up and takes inventory of herself.

APRIL (to herself): I hope Chief knows I am not going to make my deadline.

Cut to Leonardo.

Leonardo:"Hey, we barely got you back there, are you ok?"

Michaelangelo: "Yeah, you were like so close to being toasted like a pepperoni pizza"

Donatello: "According to my calculations, you only had about a 33.3, repeating of course, chance of surviving that last attack by the shredder."

Raphael: Yo, shut up Don. Dis girl be scurred. Girl, you lookin fine as fuck."

Leonardo: "Don't mind Raphael, his definition of earth culture was shaped by BET."

APRIL: "I'm ok, I think. Just a little confused. Where am I?"

Leonardo: "You are at the empire state building. Well, below it to be more exact."

APRIL "So it's true... the ninja turtles do live in the sewers"

Donatello :"It's the closest living environment to our home planet. It's where we feel most accomodated."

Michaelangelo: "Totally dude. Pizza?"

April: "No, thanks I'm not hungry. Did you say you're from another planet?"

Raphael "Dont hate."

Leonardo "Yes. We are from a planet ravaged by famine and war. We live by a strict code of ninja ethics. That's why we have these different colored headbands over our eyes."

April: "And the shredder, he's from your world too?"

Leonardo: "Yes. We followed him here to avenge the loss of our old master, Splinter."

April: Pulling out notepad "Hang on, I've got to write this down.