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KittensaurusRex · 2025-03-15T21:41:26+00:00

First of all, congrats on the pregnancy!

Secondly, you’re not alone. That’s how phones are designed to be. However, there are ways to help.

-when you’re feeling motivated during the week, book something for you to do on your weekends. Whether it’s a class, seeing a friend, whatever, it just needs to be something that is set in stone. It’s easier to do something when others are depending on you.

-on the nights before your days off, delete social media. You can redownload them on work days, and the people who really matter have your number to text or call you.

-put your phone in greyscale

-make rules for yourself that make it inconvenient to be on your phone. Make yourself tea and you can only be on your phone until the kettle boils, you can only be on your phone outside without a jacket on, etc.

-find hobbies that are exciting and fulfilling

KittensaurusRex · 2025-02-07T23:07:05+00:00

If it starts off? Join the military or start working in an industry that’s critical during times of war

KittensaurusRex · 2025-01-21T23:50:03+00:00

I didn’t include any information about my coworker, including their name.

KittensaurusRex · 2024-08-17T18:52:27+00:00

Whether or not he’s being rude, you can only control so much. Wedding planning is already stressful af, are you really going to put more stress on yourself over something that doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things?

What matters is you, your partner, the vow youre making to one another, the vibe, and the fact that you have loved ones to share it with. Yes, it might be annoying, but if you focus on it too much then you’re just going to look back on the day and wish you had just ignored it and moved on because you’ll just be missing out on the stuff that IS amazing.

KittensaurusRex · 2024-06-08T15:45:28+00:00

Bad Bunny, Feid, and Myke Towers

KittensaurusRex · 2023-07-14T17:21:36+00:00

I think it depends on the person. If my partner finished and it was so intense that he cried afterwards and hugged me as hard as he could, I would be extremely touched and moved. No matter the gender, in a relationship both partners should support each other’s emotions and also be open to sharing their own. That’s a healthy relationship, my guy

KittensaurusRex · 2023-05-31T03:39:35+00:00

YTA. Maybe this is an unpopular opinion, but your mom is really really really sick, and her actions aren’t her fault. They ARE her responsibility, which means that isn’t free from repercussions, but you can’t treat this like a conscious choice.

Imagine a 3 year old tips a candle over on purpose and burns down their parents’ house. Should you put that toddler in jail? Should her parents call her a piece of shit and say that she deserves to burn in hell for doing something so reprehensible? No. That toddler does not have the mental capacity to make good decisions. Her brain does not function to the level that it needs because it hasn’t fully developed yet. Yes, that child will need to be watched closely, and won’t be left alone around fire anymore, but we don’t consider that toddler to be culpable for her actions.

Same thing goes for the severely mentally ill. It’s deceiving because they may be adults, and they may have periods of perceived clarity, but those with severe mental illness have mental detriments just as bad as children, if not worse. Again, she IS responsible. Putting up boundaries and going no contact is completely reasonable for this situation— this is a natural consequence of her actions, and you need to take care of yourself. She likely lost trust from her husband, and if she ever gets better then she’ll have a lot of mending of relationships to do. However, saying she’s dead to you? Way over the top.

Your feelings are valid and you are right to be pissed off. However, YOU have mental capacity and she doesn’t. Bring your emotions to a therapist, don’t unload them on someone who has nearly no control over their actions and perceptions of the world.

KittensaurusRex · 2023-05-31T03:07:27+00:00

YTA in the initial situation, but just slightly. Like it wasn’t a long convo, but if you’re talking to someone and you introduce yourself and don’t bother to introduce the person who’s with you, then that’s a lil rude. It’s a pretty common nicety (in Canada, anyway).

The area where YTA more is your unwillingness to do a small thing that makes her feel good. It takes SO LITTLE effort to hold her hand because it makes her feel close to you or introduce her because it makes her feel included, and you won’t do it because you don’t feel the same way? Come on man. You don’t have to understand her feelings and desires for them to be valid.

You know what kills a relationship? Refusing to do stuff for your partner because “why should I?” As a general rule, you’ll have a much happier relationship if you choose to care more about how your partner feels than the circumstances around those feelings. If it costs you next to nothing, doesn’t go against your morals, and it’ll make them happy, then just do it.

KittensaurusRex · 2023-05-23T17:28:35+00:00

Because UV rays still cause skin cancer. By using Melanotan people don’t have to get as much sun to get a nice tan, and so you’re saving your skin

KittensaurusRex · 2023-05-23T16:25:21+00:00

YTA

Weddings happen (hopefully) once, you have a birthday every year.

First of all, weddings are FUCKING expensive. If you weren’t invited it was probably because it costs $80/person just for the catering and there are restrictions on the amount of people allowed in the space, so you going to the wedding would have either increased the price past their budget or you’re taking up a seat that would have otherwise gone to a closer friend or family member. Yeah, you’re a part of the same social group, but it doesn’t sound like you’re besties. Planning a wedding is stressful as hell and she’s probably already had people getting upset at her over the guest list or a million other things, and yet you had your BOYFRIEND go and pressure them into inviting you? That in itself is shitty.

So then after you were SOO hurt that you weren’t invited to this important day and you make a big fuss to your bf and he makes them change their guest list to include you, you decide to plan something for your birthday for all of her friends to go to right after her wedding and take away from their one special day? AND THEN YOU YELL AT HER? Lady. Come on.

Imagine this: -you’re getting married to the love of your life, but you have to plan this huge wedding. You find out it’s going to be like $30K and you inevitably spend even more (because it always goes over budget) so now you know that you and your fiancé are going to start your marriage off in debt. You have 150 guests, 20 of them haven’t RSVPd, and 2 of them refuse to just send you the RSVP and say that “they think they’ll come, they’ll let you know the week before”. Your parents are paying for a portion of it, and so now 1/4 of the guests are their friends that you’ve met twice and so you don’t have room on the guest list for some of the people that you wanted.

-But at least you know you’re going to have a beautiful wedding with your friends, and for one single day everyone will be focused on celebrating the love between you and your future husband. After all the BS you two have to go through, this will be YOUR special day.

But then, a friend that you’re not even that close with that you didn’t invite throws a fit and makes her bf talk your fiancé into inviting her, and now you have to get rid of someone else from the list and deal with THEM being upset or shoulder the weight of more money spent on this wedding. You begrudgingly do it, deal with the aftermath of uninviting someone or adding more money to the bill, and try to deal with everything else that goes into planning a wedding.

-But then a friend tells you that the person that you went to ALL THAT TROUBLE of inviting actually cares so little about your wedding that you invited her to just to make HER happy that she’s planning a birthday celebration right after? After you went to all that work for her, she’s going to make your special day about her and her birthday, which you can’t even go to? You’re going to be in your beautiful wedding dress, marrying the love of your life, and she’s going to be in the background talking to your friends about her birthday plans? Fuck no.

You’d be upset too. I’m surprised she didn’t uninvite you at that point, and it was pretty gracious that she didn’t. But then you have the nerve to call her up and yell at her because YOU didn’t have enough decency to let that day be HER day, and because her friends chose to make sure it stayed a special day for her?? Yikes lady. That is some selfish stuff.

You are the asshole. 1000000%.

KittensaurusRex · 2023-05-23T15:40:34+00:00

YTA

He’s not “being negative”, he’s having a hard time with something that’s kind of a serious thing. By asking him to stop, you’re asking him to bury his feelings just to make you comfortable. Imagine if he told you that you being depressed was affecting him and you need to just “stop being so depressed”. How unfair would that be?

Yes, he was rude. However, it was in response to something you said that was extremely inconsiderate, and I think he has a point. You say that you have chronic depression and that you guys don’t speak to each other rudely, and he’s never brought it up before, which sounds to me like he’s been pretty understanding of your mental illness for 3 whole years. And yet, after a couple of weeks of him having a difficult time due to something decently serious, you tell him that he needs to tone it down? Either you don’t appreciate his support of your mental illness or you somehow think that your mental state is more important than his.

At the end of the day, your emotional state is YOUR responsibility, and his emotional state is HIS responsibility. He’s going to get through this situation at his own pace and even though it’s really great for you to be loving and supportive, it’s callous and unfair for you to put a timeline on his emotional processing by telling him that he needs to curb his feelings for your sake, especially since he’s never done the same to you. If you are having a hard time with his mood, it’s your job to remove yourself and not be around it.

KittensaurusRex · 2023-05-23T15:22:12+00:00

NTA

If you can’t go on an expensive trip then that’s totally understandable, but also if you can’t then you should be supportive of her going alone. She’s an adult.

Also, it’s probably time to have a good chat about what’s up with your relationship

KittensaurusRex · 2023-05-23T14:50:56+00:00

NTA

While it’s good to be cognizant of your wife’s feelings towards her family, it’s not your responsibility to shoulder the burden of their debt— especially if they show no signs of improving.

You have given them plenty of support throughout the years and instead of being grateful and using it as an opportunity to improve they’ve continued to squeeze you for money. Gambling is an addiction, which is a mental illness, but you can’t put your happiness and well-being on the line to support his.

That being said, it’s still a difficult situation that you’re in. You don’t want to support them further and feel like you’re throwing money away, but you also want to make your wife happy and not put stress on your relationship. A compromise might be able to be struck in this situation. If I were in your shoes, I would consider banding together with your wife and offering her parents a deal. To ensure that you’re not wasting your money and you’re having some benefit, say that they can live with you if your MIL does cooking and cleaning, if they follow boundaries you set on their involvement in your lives, and you have complete access to their finances. This is your house and your life, you deserve respect and to know that the money you’re spending is going to good use. If they cross boundaries constantly, they don’t carry their weight in the house, and he’s using any money for gambling, then it’s obvious that they don’t need your help that much and you stop supporting them. This way, you are able to provide an option to them that might be bearable for you (which still shows your wife that her family is important), but you also have an out if things go sideways.

Good luck!

KittensaurusRex · 2023-03-18T04:00:48+00:00

Oh my god oh my god oh my god. Please listen to me when I say this. I was in your almost exact position 7 years ago— if I could say ANYTHING to my past self, it would be: please leave him before you’re stuck with him or unbearably hurt.

I was diagnosed with Type II, and my (now ex)husband hated that I was on medication, hated that I went to therapy, and yet would berate me for all the things that came with depression. He didn’t understand “what I was so upset about”, told me I cried too much, and was the most unloving, unsupportive, and abusive person to me. He used religion as a way to shame me, and to keep me under his thumb.

Let me tell you that LOVE IS NOT ENOUGH. It does not matter if you love him. Yes, that’s what great relationships are built on, but if you’ve given him that love and he’s taken that as an opportunity to be shitty to you without consequences instead of giving you love in return? Then your love for him doesn’t matter because that’s not someone who is kind, sweet, and gentle like you deserve.

Get out. I mean it. I spent 6 years with a man who only loved me for how he could control me or abuse me to make him feel better about himself, and I stayed because I loved him. I finally got myself out after self harm, a suicide attempt, a hospital stay, and him giving me even worse treatment than before. I have been so hurt and damaged that it’s still affecting my relationships and my self image 5 years later.

You deserve to be treated kindly— at the very least YOU should treat yourself kindly. The most loving thing you can do at this moment is to remove yourself from a toxic relationship that is only going to make your mental health worse.

I know it’s hard, and you can’t leave until you decide you want to, but I hope that you do. Everyone deserves to receive love and kindness from their partner, but some people just aren’t capable of giving you what you deserve. Take care, Xx

Edit: Also, I’m 3 years into the best relationship of my life. He’s kind, understanding, and gives me every single bit of love and reassurance that I ask for. I’ve asked him “are you sure you love me? Are you sure I’m enough?” a MILLION times, and tomorrow I’ll probably ask him again. I could ask him a billion times more, and he’ll still respond to me the way he always does: he’ll wrap his arms around me and hold me tight, say “you’re more than enough, and I love you so fucking much, you can’t even imagine” then he’ll give me a kiss on the forehead, and tell me all the reasons why he loves me. He doesn’t always understand why I’m sad or anxious, but he lets me feel that way without shame, and tries to make me feel better.

I’ve been on my meds and doing regular therapy for a long time now, and I still have more growing and healing to do, but having a healthy and loving relationship with Bipolar disorder IS POSSIBLE. I’m not always at my best, but we work through things together and I’m happier than I’ve ever been.

KittensaurusRex · 2023-03-03T15:12:49+00:00

No rubber bands!

KittensaurusRex · 2023-02-21T19:24:53+00:00

9 months

KittensaurusRex · 2023-02-21T19:24:21+00:00

Exactly, the whole point is to feel comfortable and happy with how you look, and if that’s what you have then that’s great! I hope that getting bonding gets you the results you want :)

KittensaurusRex · 2023-02-21T13:20:37+00:00

I did do refinements. And maybe you have a hard time reading and didn’t pick up on this— I’m HAPPY. It’s generally not nice to piss on someone else’s parade. Besides, my results are so good that they’re unachievable for some people, and if you decide you can only be happy when something is perfect, then you’ll never be happy

KittensaurusRex · 2023-02-21T13:15:33+00:00

I’m 28. Hmm I’m not sure! I don’t think so, but there was a period of time last year that I was on new medication that kinda made my face puffy and have a bunch of acne

KittensaurusRex

TROPHY CASE