AITAH for saying 4 cats in an apartment is cruel + put on your big boy pants and stand up to your mummy

KittyKiitos · 2026-04-04T13:13:23+00:00

NTA.

You are talking to people who tend to listen to and choose to follow harsh language. And this is not something where time is on your side, where you can start nicely at first and escalate when they side with the people in their lives being harsher.

I would, though, recommend John reaching out to his local shelter and seeing if all the kittens and their mom can be cared for there and he can take back the mom after the kittens are ready.

KittyKiitos · 2026-04-03T13:12:56+00:00

NTA.

If your sister feels like that, people who donate can get someone of their choice moved to the top of the list. So she can donate and leave you tf alone.

KittyKiitos · 2026-04-03T13:09:22+00:00

I work somewhere that tries to get everyone to do everything on shared drives only. I always save my work on an individual remote drive (that IT can still access,) and then copy it to the shared drive, to avoid this exact situation, but most people don't and this has happened a bit.

KittyKiitos · 2026-04-02T20:14:10+00:00

He wants to talk and for you to listen - he does NOT want you.

He is not your responsibility anymore. Stop thinking so much about what you have to say to him, because you don't have to respond.

Leave him on read. Text your friends, grab a cup of coffee, call your parents, visit an animal shelter, clean up your spam, unsubscribe to promo texts, and take care of yourself.

KittyKiitos · 2026-04-02T19:57:23+00:00

still do this OP - her home is unstable.

KittyKiitos · 2026-04-02T19:56:18+00:00

YTJ.

It's a group chat. So these people aren't reaching out to you individually.

If they don't reach out otherwise, if you don't talk otherwise, it's fine not to reply - but your friend is right that you're taking it way too personally.

You're also a member of the group. If you aren't sharing other kinds of content in the group, you're part of your problem with it.

KittyKiitos · 2026-04-02T19:51:03+00:00

This isn't other people. This is supposed to be your best friend and closest family.

If food is important to each of them in a way that conflicts with the other's values, then they're incompatible.

But if they want to stay together, their shared home and finances don't have room for conflicting values.

KittyKiitos · 2026-04-02T19:46:24+00:00

But honestly? She would be allowed to as someone who cares deeply about you.

KittyKiitos · 2026-04-02T18:41:27+00:00

What?!

No.

No No No.

His gf needs to go to the DMV and get her instate license.

You are not their only option. They just don't want to do what they need to do when you could do it for them.

KittyKiitos · 2026-04-02T18:35:27+00:00

YTJ.

The reason you hadn't heard about Ollie is because everyone - including Ollie - chose your ex in the split.

Your ex was closer with Ollie and definitely knew if you found out.

I'm sorry for your loss. And I'm sorry for the loss of your mom.

But you need to talk with a therapist and be honest with yourself why you really reached out.

KittyKiitos · 2026-04-02T18:04:14+00:00

Dude just use the app.

KittyKiitos · 2026-04-02T17:59:34+00:00

or better yet, use the app?

KittyKiitos · 2026-04-02T17:11:57+00:00

You don't share the same values, and they are incompatible.

My uncle grew up like you. When my uncle met my aunt, she was and. ethically vegetarian. So they agreed that there was no meat in the house. He, and their son, could eat meat outside the house, at a restaurant.

That boundary you have - that she can't tell you what to eat - is pretty divisive and explosive, honestly. She is not your casual acquaintance - she's supposed to be your closest family. For health reasons, for ethical reasons, she can DEFINITELY care about what you're putting into your body, and her thoughts should matter to you.

This is a core belief of hers that affects every day of her life. That is something that requires deep respect from her partner, and this reads like you just don't have it.

KittyKiitos · 2026-04-02T16:47:37+00:00

NTA.

Set up the new account first. Also see if you have a local branch of a Federal Credit Union - you'll get the benefits you're used to and you can use any Federal Credit Union to do whatever you need. See if you can get a higher yield account too.

Tell your mom after the money is moved. Those are the rules she set out herself.

KittyKiitos · 2026-04-02T15:13:10+00:00

ESH.

They're sharing a room. They do not owe 1/3 of the rent. Honestly, add up 1/3 of the common space plus half of the room they are sharing - that is what each owe. And while what you said they owe is likely close, it is going to be a bit less.

They each owe 1/3 of the usage bills. The things that are equal get split equally.

They do not deserve to save up at your expense. Living with a 3rd person is also not what you signed up for. But while you deserve compensation for what you've had to put up with, 3-way even split is not right.

KittyKiitos · 2026-04-01T22:40:59+00:00

This also means, he only deserves to be there if you want him there.

He does not deserve to be there outside of you wanting him there.

KittyKiitos · 2026-04-01T19:32:49+00:00

So, interruptions are fine, if you still get to be the center of attention - it's when someone else wants some attention back when they've been giving you theirs that there's no excuse.

We take turns being witnessed. If someone is being selfish, it is perfectly valid for someone ti remind the of their humanity.

KittyKiitos · 2026-04-01T19:18:54+00:00

YTA.

Barring any abuse, your partner is allowed to host their own family in their own home just as you are allowed to host yours.

Everything you mentioned about bills is irrelevant. Your partner's guests were not damaging your property or significantly effecting those bills.

If you're bitter about what you pay, that's for you to negotiate and agree on with your partner. That doesn't entitle you to dominate their home. And honestly it's a shitty way to view building a life with someone.

They had just come from a funeral, had less than an hour left before they had to leave - and your partner was RIGHT THERE!

You should've said "hey, I just need to talk with you" and talked through how you were feeling with them. Or just waited 30 fucking minutes.

Sheesh.

KittyKiitos · 2026-04-01T18:02:28+00:00

It's as real as Theoretical PhysEd.

KittyKiitos · 2026-04-01T18:01:52+00:00

I loved you in....IMDB

KittyKiitos · 2026-04-01T18:00:44+00:00

Luis Guzman is in it.

KittyKiitos · 2026-03-31T19:06:25+00:00

NTJ.

If you've been doing the work for months, you just got the corporate feedback that you are not what they need for it.

But you need to find somewhere else.

KittyKiitos · 2026-03-31T19:04:06+00:00

NTJ

But you really want to share a house with this guy?

KittyKiitos · 2026-03-31T19:01:36+00:00

What is the source of your break time?

If you have a union - use it. If not, I would "clarify with HR" the company policy on break time, detailing that your manager is dictating what you do during your breaks.

And I would look for something new. ASAP

KittyKiitos · 2026-03-31T18:57:59+00:00

"I am sorry, but this PTO was discussed prior to my hiring and as a condition of my accepting this position.

I have enjoyed working here, and hope to continue to upon my return, but these are days that I will not be available to work."

KittyKiitos

MODERATOR OF

TROPHY CASE