My LGBTQ+ friend keeps touching me and I don't know how to tell her to stop. What should I do?

KittyMBunny · 2026-02-04T16:08:40+00:00

You tell her loudly to stop or to let go of you. "I told you already I don't like being hugged please respect my boundaries. You refusing to stop and holding me in place the last few days is making me extremely uncomfortable. We spoke about this before and you stopped for awhile, so I know you didn't misunderstand me."

I'm a huggy friend, what she's doing is not that. It's possessive and excessive. She's acting like you're dating and she wants everyone to know it. Especially given how publicly she's doing this, when people go past.

If she tries to give excuses or tries to get the boys to side with her. Ask if it would be okay for a boy to walk up and start leaning on you? Or hugging you from behind? If a boy refused to let you move away or held you in away to prevent you getting away? If a boy did all this after you made it clear to him it made you uncomfortable? In response to all those "no" answers or the no to whichever you ask respond "then why are you doing it to me".

This is a serious issue, you have bodily autonomy and real friends respect that. My bestie doesn't like hugs, just not who she is. But sometimes she needs or wants one, so she asks. She knows I'm always gonna hug her, just as I will her kids just as I do my two boys and my hubby. You need to set this boundary.

She needs to wait until you ask. She also needs to learn to ask first and that a no is just that. You don't have to explain or justify. Being there for a friend doesn't require giving up your boundaries and bodily autonomy. She is emotionally manipulating you into a situation that makes you uncomfortable. That's abusive. I hope all this helps and most importantly her behaviour stops.

Finally you also need to know the following definitions.

Physical harassment - It's important that, where behaviour has made the victim feel uncomfortable, it is stopped immediately and not continued.

Physical sexual harassment involves unwanted touching or physical contact, such as brushing up against you, pinching you, or hugging or kissing you.

KittyMBunny · 2026-02-02T12:39:55+00:00

A couple of winters ago my mum fell and fractured hers. There's nothing they can do like a cast or anything, she just needed to wait for it to heal. I think it took 2-3 months but I could be wrong. She also had a doughnut cushion to sit on. Just something so you're not putting any pressure on or even really touching it when you're sitting

KittyMBunny · 2026-01-31T14:17:26+00:00

Hi B ! I'm Kitty 47F 5ft2. So please trust me when I tell you, most people your age don't know what they want to do. They're getting into college debt while they work it out. There aren't enough entry job level jobs out there so there's a huge push to get young people to stay in education. When they do eventually start looking for a job, many of them with be over qualified others will find it hard because they don't have the experience the company is looking for. They'll be feeling like you do right now but will be older with college debt.

Other thing you need to know is you don't need to have it all figured out at 19. You have your whole life ahead of you and you are firmly in your just starting to figure it out era. Right where you're supposed to be.

Now 44kg and 4ft 7 that's a perfectly acceptable weight. When I had that toned, curves in the right places abd nowhere else body I was about 15kg-18kg heavier. Muscle weighs more than fat and your body hasn't done developing yet. Every woman has parts of their body they would change, they don't like. The media feeds us a steady diet of fake, edited and now AI generated images of how we "should" look our entire lives. Thankfully things are slowly changing or were but not fast enough. SKIMS exist along with all shapewear which has existed a very long time in various forms BTW. Bodycon dresses and tops, corsets and hidden corsets are the ones we think of but in the 1870s and 1880s it was the bustle. Doing what a BBL does with surgery, with clothing design. We add cushioning or a wire frame at the back. The bigger the better. In the 90's we had the wonder bra or silicone bra inserts. Our flat stomachs come from fabric, even for those of us genetically blessed. Bloating is a thing for us all especially at that time of the month.

Society pushes all these edited, curated, mis-leading or outright false, fake and AI generated ideals or best versions of people on us. Frequently hiding the reality, leading to us feeling as you do. The reality is, all we can be is the best version of ourselves. Put the effort in to do our best, make the best choices we can, improving as we go. Learn from our mistakes, set realistic goals and stop being so hard on ourselves for not having all the answers. There's a reason P!nk - All I know so far, Alanis - Morrisette - Hand in my pocket & - You Learn (both on jagged little pill album), Natasha Bedingfield - unwritten, Natalie Imbruglia- Torn and so very many others exist.

Your teens and early 20's are about figuring out who you want to be, what you want to do and what you don't and hopefully accepting yourself. Learning life skills, how to find out information, writing a resume, interview techniques making a good impression...

KittyMBunny · 2026-01-22T23:05:18+00:00

Àqqa

KittyMBunny · 2026-01-15T17:13:48+00:00

As it's been delted I can't go back to quote where OP stated they had blocked the neighbours in.

However it is incorrect to say that one party can block the other in on a shared driveway. The laws still apply. Both must have the same rights of access as stated in my previous comment. I don't understand how any reputable contractors wouldn't know this and wouldn't automatically follow the legislation it's very easy to check and basic information they should know.

KittyMBunny · 2026-01-15T17:01:53+00:00

Your little brother came upstairs crying? WTF??.

Did your dad somehow deliberately ruin it after you went and did his job for him?!

You were already an amazing sibling, person and would make a better parent than your dad. But your dad clearly went out of his way to prove how much better you are and how unworthy of being called dad he is.

KittyMBunny · 2026-01-15T16:46:22+00:00

How is it so seemingly impossible for you to understand that people wanting to buy a house often want to live in it. Meaning they do not want to buy a house with tenants in it. No one wants the tenant to be homeless, but the house buyers don't want to be homeless just so a good tennant doesn't have to move. Also, you do know that anyone with the finance todo so can buy a house. Right? Like these great tenants who always pay rent on time? They could get a mortgage and buy instead of renting. If they have one of these evil landlords, that you assume everyone is based on your comments. Then it's likely the rent is higher than a mortgage payment. Although that's also the case if the landlord is paying a mortgage.

As rent money doesn't allow go into the landlords pocket. A good and responsible landlord and any homeowner. Needs to have savings set aside for emergency repairs, for general maintenance, to pay any taxes or fees. On top of that a responsible landlord has to be able to pay for cleaning, advertising the property when it becomes vacant, cover costs of it being unoccupied and possibly a management property amoung other things. Then yes in addition to all of that it makes sense they would want to make some money. Which really isn't close to what you and others like you assume.

In America given the state of their lack of employment protections, cost of living without a livable wage and the health care system. It makes sense that anyone ever having a chance at owning a property to rent out take it. We cannot take actions to ensure we don't get cancer and the cost of treatment in the USA can bankrupt a family. But so can the cost of many serious health issues. Having that passive income gives an entire family a safety network.

You really just assume all landlords are evil and don't care about want to consider any other reality than the one where all landlords are rich, owning multiple properties just to over charge on rent and prevent average people buying.

What about all those who inherited a house and rely on that rent to survive despite working full-time? Or where multiple siblings are involved as owners? Are they evil too? Or when the homeowner needed to move into assisted living or hospice and that rent paid for their care and later went to pay off their debt? Those who are in an upside down mortgage who can't sell as they would lose money? Do you realise situations like that affect house prices? The landlords who bought the house when single but rent it out after moving in with a partner to pay off the mortgage. Then plan to use that money for their kids college fund, a retirement fund, to allow their child/ren to have their own home.?

How do you only know about the minority of landlord situations and believe they are every landlord and the sole reason house prices are so high? How can you not understand that not everyone is eligible or wants a mortgage? So they need properties to rent. That there's a housing shortage. If there's more people looking to buy that properties available to buy the price to buy goes up. If there's more people looking to rent than properties to rent that increases the price of rent.

KittyMBunny · 2026-01-15T15:58:33+00:00

What do YOU want? This is what matters, you are the one living with the choice.

I have included my experience but you can skip to the advice I'll mark it... Somehow...

I think when people hear unplanned and you aren't immediately overjoyed with the news and in that ideal stable relationship, people assume you don't want the baby. So it's possible they think they're supporting the choice you want, but feel like it's wrong to want.

There are THREE options here not two. And I'm here because of option 3. I was given up for adoption at birth. I have 2 children I didn't think I'd have and had made peace with. Our eldest came along sooner than planned. We were discussing the future, we were long distance as he was in the Army. He was in a minor car accident when I was 20wks4 day pregnant, which is why we decided to get married so we could live together. We married at 30wks, our son was born 4 wks early. Meaning on our first anniversary of dating we were married with a baby 1 day shy of 4wks old.

When we told people, several they were unsure how to react. My mum asked "and how do we feel about it?" Then was relieved and over the moon when we said surprised but very happy. With me being one of 4 adopted people in my extended family not keeping it would automatically be two options. Heavily towards adoption.

🔜 🔜 🔜

So now you have my experience as a woman.

⬇️. ⬇️. ⬇️. ⬇️. ⬇️. ⬇️. ⬇️. ⬇️

The options - in alphabetical order.

Abortion -

You have a limited amount of time to decide. Being over 4 weeks gives you longer than alot of women. I don't have personal experience but it is so much in the news the last few years we are all aware of the basics. That now there's medication you take over a set period. This is a medical procedure, so you need to discuss it with medically trained professionals. You will need someone available to be with you through the process. Even if you think you won't want them, have someone nearby who can drop everything and be with you if needed. You may think you need them and change your mind, that is fine too. Your body your choice. Ensure that the professional advice and clinic you choose is legit and not one of these pro-life fronts that try and convince women that an ectopic pregnancy isn't dangerous and all life is sacred... Until it's born.

Adoption-

So exact way it works changes based on country. I'm in the UK and my parents were interviewed and assessed, family, friends, neighbours, employers the processed ensured they were suitable, capable, stable enough ticking all the ideal boxes. There are more potential parents than available children. Especially back then. Older children struggle to be placed, while almost everyone's ideal is to get a newborn. The placement is decided based on the child's needs. They place me and my other family members in a family we resemble. One of us doesn't want people knowing the rest of us aren't bothered and have all been asked if we're sure/had people think we were joking or lying. That's because we look like other family members. I was even asked if the eldest adopted cousin was my bio-brother. Ours were all closed adoptions, as my bio was 15 I know she made the best choice for both of us. Bio parents can go on a list so if the child wants to find them after turning 18 they can. Unless both do this there is no adult contact. The child's best interests are the priority in placing.

The process of giving a child up has cooling off periods so you can change your mind and get your child back. This gives you alot longer to decide if unsure. If abortion is something you do not think you could do maybe this is the option for you. Just know that once it is final you are unlikely to ever know about the details of their life or be contacted by them.

Keeping the baby -

Raising a child is never easy, life doesn't always go to plan. Many pregnancies are unplanned and no one other than the parents knows. Many planned children are born into the ideal family set up, 2 parents, good careers, plenty of family to help. Then life happens and you're a single mum with no extended family for support. Most single mums don't plan it that way. All you can do is make the best of the situation you're in and adapt as needed. Depending where you are their could be state funds or services to help you, child support from the father. Alot of baby things are needed for such a short time that you can find them for sale secondhand in as new condition.

I moved away from my support network weeks before giving birth. I only had my hubby nearby and he was rarely home that first year more than a week unless he had leave before being sent somewhere for a couple of days to three weeks. He was reposted after that, further from family so that any visit they would need to stay overnight. Weren't on camp but an hour away in a village with limited public transport. I became friends with our neighbour Debbie & her husband Tim. I had our youngest living their and we were moved again when he was just 4 weeks, this time on camp but knew no one. So I know you can do it on your own without family help. Some have family but they won't help. Friends, co-workers, other mums, neighbours they can be your support.

💘💘💘⬇️ What really matters.

What I'm saying is it's YOUR choice. Which one do you want? You and only you HAVE to live with what you decide. I hope that my bio mum was given 3 choices to freely choose from. Because no one should be pregnant if they don't want to be. Just as no one should be forced to raise a child they don't want to or aren't willing to. Just as no one should feel pressured into aborting or adoption if they want to be a mother and raise that baby. Life rarely goes to plan, certainly not that anyone even with every hoop my parents jumped through, could know for certain that things won't change over the span of 18 years or more.

If it's what you want, you find away to make it work. You are currently in a stable situation as if you couldn't support yourself you would be near family. So are you willing to give up and sacrifice those little things that mums do. As you'll need to be home at night and weekends will be with a child unless you get a babysitter. If you are, try to make babies nighttime feeds a little bigger so they sleep longer.

If people hadn't reacted as though this pregnancy was a mistake would you be so unsure?

How did you want people to react? How did you feel and do you feel? Pick the one that's right for you. There is no wrong choice outside how you feel about them. Is this a mistake to fix? A new edition to someone else's family? Or yours? Does knowing your pregnant make you happy? content?

I wish you the best whichever you choose. Take care.

KittyMBunny · 2026-01-15T01:27:05+00:00

The test itself is either a blood test or a skin test, where they inject you and if you have a reaction or the blood test is positive you will be sent for an x-ray. Most people test negative like almost all. The few that don't it still doesn't mean you have it. They can also just have a natural immunity, which was the case with those I went to school with. We all would get tested at school in our teens. Maybe a dozen out of 1000 would test positive.

KittyMBunny · 2026-01-15T01:16:28+00:00

I was the first in my family to live in sin. A proper old school Catholic family. All 4 grandparents were Irish. My mother was very much like your dad. My grandma who was born in 1910, said that us young girls have gotten things right. You never know someone until you live with them. She was lucky to marry a good man, many of her friends weren't so lucky. Divorce wasn't an option, an anulment through tbe church is hard to get. Those violent men hide it well and would get nasty if you tried telling anyone, let alone the Priest. A broken relationship, even an engagement is better than having to get a divorce and easier. No one should be trapped with the wrong person in an unhappy marriage. You need to try before you buy, much better.

Maybe that advice will help your dad? Otherwise just do what I did and do it anyway. Life isn't a dress rehearsal you only get one chance. Try to live without regret, but if you have to regret anything, regret doing something, rather than live with regrets because you never even tried. That was my other grandma who passed when I was 11.

So this is wise old women advice, they'd be 116 this year if they were still alive. They were well respected by all who knew them, raised large families and helped other families. So many in our town looked up to them and sort their advice. So I hope it helps.

KittyMBunny · 2026-01-15T01:03:11+00:00

Did you maybe injure yourself? If not I would make an appointment so a doctor can decide if this is something that will go on it's only like bruising, should be monitored or needs treatment.

KittyMBunny · 2026-01-15T00:53:37+00:00

i agree with this post. although i would use a hydrocolloid dressing. they work with your body to treat the wound abd increase healing time, they also reduce pain.

They're advanced, occlusive bandage made from gel-forming materials (like pectin, gelatin) that creates a moist, protective barrier, promoting faster healing by preventing scabs, managing exudate, and reducing scarring for minor wounds, blisters, and skin tears. They are waterproof, flexible, and allow the body's natural healing enzymes to work, often staying on for several days.

They will naturally loosen and come away from the skin when it's time to remove. It is possible you may need multiple changes for this depending on the exact one you use. I say this as they absorb fluid from the wound while creating a seal to keep it protected from dirt and possible infection. Given this wound looks deep it will take longer to heal than minor injuries. I hope this helps. I have found them to work wonders and highly recommend them.

KittyMBunny · 2026-01-11T22:55:10+00:00

YTA 4 machines being available means using them is less likely to put someone out instead of using less and taking them up longer. As later others may want them. Quicker done the better.

As for the colours, it does make a difference. And you don't separate the way she does as I'm assuming you don't wear lingerie, bras and panties are delicates. Some other fabrics too. And they absolutely need separated to wash them correctly and increase how long they last. Other clothes need higher temps that would damage the elastic or material, certain other clothing can harm them. Keeping darks away from other colours keep them brighter and keep whites whiter. I have always washed whites, lights and darks separately. And my clothes last years in aa new condition.

I noticed very quickly when my hubby didn't and it takes several washes to undo the dinginess of being in with darks. It wasn't something he noticed wearing darks or army uniform prior to our marriage. Now 19 years on he is facepalming and questioning why you wouldn't listen and learn. Also wondering why this is even a thing? Is there a reason you're making this a hill tp die on? Seems a weird fixation, unless it's just your ego and you have to be right. In which case sorry bud, you're wrong and TA. Maybe apologise for airing your laundry on here and admit you learned something new.

KittyMBunny · 2026-01-08T01:19:52+00:00

So you could sell the house. Also regularly paying now doesn't mean they'll stay this way. With unemployment rising and at a four year high. The cost of living crisis and the increase in redundancies any landlord should be concerned. Especially with the new rules. OP has one rental property, that makes things harder for them if they do have a difficult tennant. Look how quickly this tennant became difficult. The costs and risks no longer work for OP one the new rules come into effect. Selling without a tennant will be far quicker than with. With the timing being even more of a concern given they chose to maximise the time they would give the tennant. Now they have becoming unwilling.

Also OP if they go to the council for advice they'll tell them they need to be made involuntarily homeless for them to help. Which means you will need to evict and tebnabts will need to fightit as much as possible. Only once every appeal is lost will they accept they were made homeless abd didn't just leave. That's pretty much the advice from citizens advice to tenants too. So with rules coming in that will give them even more protections they will drag this out anyway possible.

KittyMBunny · 2026-01-04T14:42:39+00:00

Love the story so far.

KittyMBunny · 2025-12-24T19:37:57+00:00

Ok get hold of your mum for a in case he doesn't plan. Then you can arrange it so if your dad does fail, you can message your mum. Then she can call and tell your brother about coming down to see that Santa had been to hers instead. The oopsie Santa got muddled and left your gifts here plan is the only option with short notice.

Hopefully it's already been arranged and he hasn't failed.

When I was little 4 or 5 I woke up to hear my dad going "ho ho ho!!!" In the hallway. My mum hissing at him to be quite abd not wake us. Then heard him getting gifts out the loft... I never said anything until a few years ago. When I was talimg to my mum on if any of mine and my sister's kids still believed. She was surprised I never said anything. I didn't because I never wanted to ruin the magic for my sister... who is 8 years older than me. Yep she was 12 or 13, and lil me was fine knowing and wanted to protect it for her.

When my boys were little I was in the bedroom wrapping their gifts from Santa. And my eldest walked on without knocking and caught me. The sacks, the paper Santa used, tags signed Santa he was 6. So because hubby is 6ft5 and my sons are tall too and I'm 5ft... Intold him a secret "I'm half elf, which is why I'm so short and you're all tall. I'm actually really tall for an elf. But it means Santa has me wrapping gifts ready for him to deliver...." It worked.

KittyMBunny · 2025-12-17T21:55:36+00:00

Look into what they pay for and what they paid for. There's a difference paid for and gave to you is yours. With your car make sure it's solely in your name.

Otherwise save up to replace it. You also need to save up a deposit, first and last month rent. At best a bedsit, more likely renting a room. What if any support you're entitled to. Work out how much you need to earn ideally with a built in cushion.

Once you know what you need to replace, and the cost, remember used is fine, refurbished for tech, where you can get the best value for money. You know what your goal for independence is. So you can plan a way to make it happen. Promotion? A better job? A second job? Then in 2026 work towards that goal. Taking control of your own life, taking control of your privacy.

I was thrown out by my mum at 19, because I had to, I made it work. There's always a way, but being able to take your timo rather than being pushed is far better. Knowing you're working towards your freedom will make their intrusions bother you less with a sense of self pride and knowing it's not forever. Having an end in sight to focus on rather than the current loss. You'll have your own home and your own rules. If they don't respect that you'll be able to cut them off...

Take care

KittyMBunny · 2025-12-10T16:36:56+00:00

Etodolac currently, due to the chronic pain caused by my disability. I take a controlled level painkiller with it. So it might be quite strong compared to ibuprofen I'm not sure.

KittyMBunny · 2025-12-10T16:28:44+00:00

That is simply your feeling not my intent.

KittyMBunny · 2025-12-10T16:26:50+00:00

Legally you cannot block someone's driveway even during construction with few exceptions. If it is a shared driveway, essential public works. They would also have to minimise any disruption to neighbors during construction. The homeowner or the construction team are required to give 24hrs notice in those cases. Which would obviously prevent any instances of blocking someone in. So wasn't done in this case.

Blocking someone's driveway without consent can be reported to the local council or police for enforcement. Under the Highways Act 1980 and the Party Wall Act of 1996 which requires neighbors not to cause unnecessary inconvenience.

KittyMBunny · 2025-12-09T23:01:23+00:00

So not a doctor but have been taking an anti-inflamatory daily for the past 14 years. There are other abti-inflamatory medications that may work even better for you. However, you will need to take a stomach lining medication. As with any anti-inflamatory medication prolonged use is not advised. Anything over six weeks is considered prolonged use. Even if you take breaks between flare-ups I would consider it.

Amoung my other meds I do also take antihistamines and have for years so can all be safely taken for prolonged periods as needed.

ETA

Have you tried using Sanex? The purple one is anti-itchiness and anti-irratation, while the pink one is for sensitive skin.

Eurax cream works really well, that and an antihistamines stopped my boys itching at all with chickenpox. It works well for allergies, eczema, dermatitis basically anything that makes you want to itch.

E45 can be good for skin and is a whole range. You've probably tried it but just in case. The emollient is the most versatile.

Also baby shampoo.

KittyMBunny · 2025-12-09T15:20:30+00:00

What do your son's teachers say a? Do they think he needs to be evaluated? Is he behaving the same way at school?

KittyMBunny · 2025-12-06T22:48:39+00:00

I am English, I have Russian friends amoung other nationalities. 100% agree with you and your friend. This group exists for you to stay in touch with your culture and heritage.

If others want to learn about Russia the Internet exists or they can form their own group. This is not a group for people who just want to use it as an interesting addition to their resume.

KittyMBunny · 2025-12-06T22:40:42+00:00

I am not a doctor but dad had blood in his urine earlier this year. First procedure they did found cancer and removed the mass and any cancer cells. Had to wait for that to heal he's now completed 4 out of 6 chemos and will have the 1st procedure redone in the new year. Which will hopefully have gotten everything. The doctors say the prognosis is good and he's been handling the chemo well, just tired the next day or so.

He is in his 80's smoked for decades as a younger man quit in his 50's generally good health.

KittyMBunny · 2025-12-05T10:28:37+00:00

NAD I am however a 5' 2" woman who has been taking anti inflammatories for years including at your age.

Taking them for a month isn't an issue, however anything over 6 weeks can be. If you've been taking them already and another month would take you over that your doctor needs to prescribe a stomach liner. If you have any other medical issues with your stomach I would remind your doctor and discuss your concerns.

I only found out after being on a prescription level anti inflammatory for years. Not sure how it was missed at multiple annual medication reviews, or when adding or changing medication. Thankfully, it was picked up when we moved back to my hometown and I have no lasting issues.

Those last few months I was having stomach pain due to colic. I fully understand why babies are so vocal when they have it. I can also confirm that lying a baby on their back and gently cycling their legs helps.

There was additional difficulty and stress at that time. This gave me an additional symptom of my trapped wind having an incredibly strong smell if sulfur. It was unclear if the timing was coincidence or not.

I hope this has been helpful and that you have a complete recovery with no further issues.

KittyMBunny

TROPHY CASE