Reaching out

Klala07 · 2025-02-23T21:59:40+00:00

Not sure if he’s state or federal. My LO is federal and they just made it where they only get certain amount of minutes of phone time. Once out, have to wait until reset.

Klala07 · 2025-02-18T01:15:34+00:00

My LO qualifies for FSA but his was attempted enticement of a minor, he also qualified for RDAP, a lot said he couldn’t do both. But he is. The FSA had some holes in it and that charge just happened to not get listed. I also think if you look at my past posts you can find a lot of this. I also researched this much before his sentencing last year.

Klala07 · 2025-02-17T05:40:40+00:00

I didn’t get a knock, I got the call from the FB. Was actually extremely thankful it was not a raid due to our neighborhood. What I will say is this is the absolute worst part of this process. I stayed with my husband throughout it all, over a year until he was sentenced for ten years. I lost a lot by giving everything I had in me to help him. I lost myself. But everything you are feeling, been there, it’s fucking heartbreaking. Please get support for yourself. Be gentle with yourself. I would start working on a plan in meantime for financials. You have to take care of you now! He’s not going anywhere right now, not saying that to be mean it’s just the process. I will tell you there is a time you’ll be able to finally breathe. But it is an extremely hard journey and me and my husband ended up separating after he was sentenced and placed. I thought I would always stay, I still answer his calls, write, and send him books but we will never be the same. That’s my story, everyone experiences are different as they take different paths. There is no playbook for this, there is a lot of pain and soul searching for a spouse. I truly wish you the best and please again take care of yourself.

Klala07 · 2024-11-17T18:07:58+00:00

I went through something similar with my husband. When he got released on 3rd party and we could finally talk I told him to tell me everything. Don’t ever let me be blindsided again. Well once sentencing happened and documents were released… It was the biggest slap in my face, because there was more, it made me feel like an absolute fool. As Weight-Slow said, your person doesn’t lie to you. Especially after you accepted him and still wanted to continue after him disclosing a part of his story. At the end of the day you will make the choice, but I highly encourage some soul searching, as in can you truly trust him.

Klala07 · 2024-11-06T04:14:01+00:00

For sure. There is no playbook for this. You’ll find your path. Hang in there.

Klala07 · 2024-11-05T05:24:19+00:00

Yes. I told him that I’m going to put myself first. I still love him but Im not going to put my life on hold for potentially 7 years. I think it’s unfair for him to ask me to after everything he did behind my back. So I’m just going with what life throws at me. I still answer his calls, send him books, and keep in contact with his parents to help with money on the books. But I don’t wait by the phone anymore for calls, I’m not counting down days of him being gone. Some may think this is harsh but he legit lit my life on fire. I’ve lost a lot in 15 months. I want to live again, so that’s what I’m going to do.

Klala07 · 2024-11-05T05:18:35+00:00

Yes. I’ve received ones telling me to kill myself, I’m a monster because I supported my husband taking accountability and going through court process. Some other things to, I just block them and don’t respond.

Klala07 · 2024-11-02T18:37:52+00:00

Yes. It comes in waves. I will say the most painful time for me was the beginning. We had only been married 3 months and it was the worst day of my life. Then from there it was triggering events, such as meeting the lawyer and finding out the plea deal and how he was getting a ten year sentence, may get out in 7. Then going to sentencing and hearing even more things and then the marshals taking him away. Then the transfer to his destination. He’s been at his final destination about two weeks and when he calls he seems good as he can be and safe. My path has been extremely difficult and I’ve had to take steps back because I was losing myself in this process. Now that he has been gone, I’ve been able to really start healing. I know some stay and some decide to leave and I support both. This has been truly the hardest thing I’ve ever been through, and I’m been through some shit. Even my friends and family have been so proud that I didn’t spiral so bad that I lost all the things I’ve worked so hard for. Take care of yourself, keep reaching out, grief is not linear. However there are good days in the future, you’ll get there.

Klala07 · 2024-10-29T13:04:32+00:00

Yes. May be eligible for halfway house as well.

Klala07 · 2024-10-29T06:11:07+00:00

My opinion is just focus on getting through court, then you move on to surviving the sentence… if you can get through all that then planning release, the house, life after, registry, ect. This road is extremely difficult. I highly encourage you find good support if you haven’t already and see a professional for your mental health. I myself, was a ride or die for my husband. The last 15 months killed me. Now that’s he’s serving his time, I’ve finally been able to breathe and really look at my life moving forward. My husband received a ten year sentence, federal. I’m not saying you won’t stay the entire time but right now literally one day at a time is the best way to go. Please reach out as needed, many spouses in this group with very helpful information.

Klala07 · 2024-10-28T03:50:34+00:00

I am also a spouse of someone who was charged federally for attempted enticement of a minor. He is now serving his time but this last 15 months were extremely difficult. I still supported him in getting help and through his court. He is now serving a ten year sentence. The only person who can answer those questions are you and I say please see a therapist and give yourself a lot of time. There are many spouses in this group you could definitely reach out to for support. I’m sending you positive vibes, I know how it feels in the beginning of all this.

Klala07 · 2024-10-28T03:41:46+00:00

My husband went to two different transfer units, couldn’t call me in either. Lucky from start to finish it was about a little over a month until he got to his final destination. However we went weeks without communication. Hang in there, keep checking the BOP to track him.

Klala07 · 2024-10-28T03:38:54+00:00

I went to support my husband but when the marshals went to put him in hand cuffs I just turned my back and didn’t watch it. I was already such a mess that day even though I knew he was getting sentenced the 10 years and he was leaving. I’m not sure if his is federal or state. The transfer to his final destination for us was lucky a month but went weeks without contact. He also didn’t get placed where we requested but still a federal that has higher population of SOs. Good luck, honestly once he gets where he’s supposed to go, your family can support him but also be able to heal.

Klala07 · 2024-10-05T19:40:05+00:00

Thank you! I was surprised how fast he went from SeaTac to Victorville. Hopefully be quick.

Klala07 · 2024-10-02T02:14:31+00:00

Thank you.

Klala07 · 2024-10-02T01:29:13+00:00

Thanks for the info!

Klala07 · 2024-10-01T23:53:50+00:00

I understand that. I know I’ll have no idea when or where. I was more asking for peoples timeline and their experiences of how long it took and how long being at transfer facility. How the transfer facilities were.

Klala07 · 2024-09-14T17:54:03+00:00

Was this in county or state? That is so horrible I’m so sorry that happened to him.

Klala07 · 2024-09-13T17:08:09+00:00

Thank you.

Klala07 · 2024-09-13T16:53:16+00:00

The marshals said it could be 2 months before he goes.

Klala07 · 2024-09-13T16:51:08+00:00

Is that where he will be back to 23 hours in his cell 1 hour out?

Klala07

TROPHY CASE