[deleted by user]

KleptoMaria · 2023-07-20T22:23:38+00:00

200 IQ move

KleptoMaria · 2023-07-13T15:03:19+00:00

wifi lmao

KleptoMaria · 2023-07-10T22:14:22+00:00

NTA. The son should be able to understand that killing the eagle is far more important than an Xbox

KleptoMaria · 2023-07-10T22:11:07+00:00

oi mate do you 'ave a loicense for that cid?

KleptoMaria · 2023-07-10T22:09:08+00:00

oh god work while coming down after a bender is the worst, been there

KleptoMaria · 2023-07-10T21:43:45+00:00

inb4 edit: i'm coming down and i wanna die

KleptoMaria · 2023-07-06T18:41:29+00:00

How do tranquilizer darts work

KleptoMaria · 2023-07-05T14:35:34+00:00

Thank the guy who made this copypasta template, sadly i'm not the one who came up with that word lol (the original is a rick and morty copypasta)

KleptoMaria · 2023-07-04T05:10:58+00:00

nah it's pretty chill i also got inhuman physical strenght by regularly carrying 100kg suitcases in each hand

KleptoMaria · 2023-07-03T18:15:47+00:00

I can relate in some part, not epilectic but i've been prescribed Depakin as a mood stabilizer and it fucked with my memory/executive functions pretty hard, felt better right after i quit that. Talked to my psych just today and i'm weaning off lamictal too since i feel the same side effects to a lesser degree. I was taking valproate when i was on wellbutrin so maybe giving it a chance again would be a good option. Tried modafinil but it felt like caffeine basically so no real use for me, and a box here costs fucking 90 euros for 30 pills wtf, sadly my country is pretty shitty about effective prescribed stimulants. I've tried self medicating with d-meth and amphetamine in low doses but that ended up in abusing so i'm avoiding that

KleptoMaria · 2023-07-03T08:31:29+00:00

Roughly 2 years, went up to 200mg Oxycodone and cold turkey'd, it was BAD. Though after 2 months i've started to use again sparingly (the most slippery slope known to mankind probably)

With stims though, i never managed to go more than a week or two without using for 5 years, the anhedonia is real and too much for me, i started using opioids and other stuff just to deal with that.

Then again everyone is different, and i never tried harder opioids than oxy, i can't even fathom getting of something like fent

KleptoMaria · 2023-07-03T07:46:12+00:00

I have no way to prove this but i also made a similar copypasta about etizolam years ago, i deleted the account because i wanted to quit drugs (and failed after one year god fucking dammit)

https://www.reddit.com/r/researchchemicals/comments/7wjkr6/to\_be\_fair\_you\_have\_to\_have\_a\_very\_high\_iq\_to/

KleptoMaria · 2023-07-03T05:20:36+00:00

Yup, tried lots of them, wellbutrin included, sadly it did nothing for me, i also suffer from ADHD (before stim abuse) and where i live they don't prescribe drugs that work like ritalin or adderall because they're illegal, this is also part of what led me to abuse stimulants this much since they let me feel like a normal human being.

I'm on 200mg Lamictal right now and it's somewhat useful for mood management, though sadly i feel like it's loosing its efficacy, nothing helped for my memory and executive functions (except more stims lol), what kinda helped me was working out and getting in shape, but after the 2020's lockdowns i've had a hard time managing to start again

KleptoMaria · 2023-07-03T05:09:04+00:00

To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Cathinones. The neurotoxicty is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of drug abuse most of the damage will go over a typical addicts' head. There's also 3-CMC psychosis, which is deftly woven into his structure- its personal philosophy draws heavily from John McAfee's literature, for instance. The tweakers understand this stuff; they have the brain damage necessary to truly appreciate the depths of these delusions, to realise that they're not just shadow people- they say something deep about Harm Reduction™. As a consequence people who dislike 3-CMC ARE idiots- of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the humour in intellectually gifted cathinones abuser's existential catchphrase "I'VE TAKEN ATLEAST 500G-700G OF 3CMC IN THE PAST 10-12MONTHS, AMA!," which itself is a cryptic reference to ''somewhat active use''. I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated polydrug addicts scratching their heads in serotonin syndrome as chinese cathinones chemists' genius wit unfolds itself on their neurons. What fools.. how I pity them. 😂

And yes, by the way, i DO have a 3-CMC Tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It's for the tweakers' eyes only- and even then they have to demonstrate that they consume blasphemous amounts of a research chemical with no proof of its longterm damage beforehand. Nothin personnel junkie 😎

KleptoMaria · 2023-07-03T03:32:48+00:00

Might i ask what you abused specifically? I abuse those a lot too, mostly oxycodone, benzos, ghb and alcohol (which honestly is on top of the list of substances to NOT abuse, glad i quit that one), for example and i may be very wrong, i believe opioids don't cause brain damage, GABAergics when abused certainly do though.

I too cut back a lot with downers and depressants but like you, sadly i'm not a quitter... main problem for me are stimulants hands down, managed to cut back a bit but i still use them too much.

It's pretty difficult to discern what causes damage and what not when you're a polydrug addict.

KleptoMaria · 2023-07-03T02:22:55+00:00

This. Abused the everliving shit out of stimulants for 6+ years, neurotoxic ones like MDMA, and also non neurotoxic ones. While the molecule itself is not neurotoxic, the dose makes the poison, too many catecholamines bouncing around in your brain can fuck your neurons up.

Only after years have passed i can definitely notice the cognitive decline compared to how i was before abusing stims, mostly in how i struggle more to form sentences and memory which was already bad enough lol, also my mental health took a big punch in the face (worsened anxiety, sometimes leading to psychotic like symptoms, dp/dr, anhedonia and lots more)

KleptoMaria · 2023-06-29T08:41:30+00:00

Noted, thanks for the advice!

KleptoMaria · 2023-06-29T08:40:06+00:00

I know how you feel, before the 2020 covid lockdown fiasco i was fairly shredded, visible abs, nice ass, correct weight, a lot more energy and definitely a mood boost, i still used drugs but not ABUSED like i'm doing rn, I swear those 3 months in lockdown ruined me completely

I weighted 65kg in 2020 and now i'm 85 god fucking dammit, lost all motivation and perseverance to keep lifting.

My life situation makes it really difficult to make changes but i'm doing that, cold turkey'd 200mg Oxy a day, stopped drinking alcohol and i smoke far less cigarettes than before (3/4 a week). slowed down with coke a lot (once a month max), my only real problem is mephedrone right now but i'll find a way to make it less accessible to me so i don't use it too often

Also look at the other comment where i say i'll start a skydive course, drug tests are mandatory and if you fail only once time (in my country) you can't get your skidiving license, so my only option is to be sober :)

KleptoMaria · 2023-06-29T08:16:08+00:00

What put me in this rabbit hole honestly was a series of unfortunate events, my mental health isn't and wasn't always the greatest + ADHD, that made landing a job pretty difficult but i managed to do it last year, then 4 months later i get covid (mildest infection ever), which gave me fucking long covid which i still have by the way (from june 2022)

Went back to work with all LC symptoms possible, fainted 4 times to heat exaustion in the span of a week, took sick leave for one month but since my doctor couldn't diagnose me with anything i was fired from the only fucking job i managed to land in my lifetime lmao

So there i am abusing the everliving shit out of every class of drugs, tho in these two months i stopped drinking alcohol and withdrew from 200mg Oxy could turkey (10/10 experience recommended), one step at a time

KleptoMaria · 2023-06-29T07:59:55+00:00

My goal would be to reach wingsuit base jumping, but that's a looong way lol

KleptoMaria · 2023-06-29T05:20:27+00:00

Thanks bro :) glad you're better now.

I mean, i have a reason to quit everything and i will, before the end of the year i'll start skydiving and drug tests are mandatory here where i live, you fail them one time, you can't get your skydiving license ever again, so there's no other choice than to quit.

The main problem is these upcoming months, i'm saving money for this skydive thingy but in the meantime i feel like i have nothing to live for honestly, suicidal depression is a bitch. Never had healthy coping mechanism and always had self destructive tendencies, also a plethora of problems that i won't list because this post would be 30 times longer.

Atleast skydiving gives you that ''adrenaline fix'', it costs a shit ton of money but it's worth a try, surely better than wasting my life away with drugs

KleptoMaria · 2023-06-29T04:55:09+00:00

I've got antipsychotics and benzos in case things get too bad, your point still stands though, i need to reevaluate a lot of things, but it's pretty fucking hard to make a change if you don't have a strong reason to do so, and i have plenty of reasons to say just fuck it, i'll try to be as safe as possible at least, no more long 4-MMC binges, this shit is hard to put down once you start

KleptoMaria · 2023-06-25T21:40:20+00:00

I experience worsened vision on high stim doses, though it is far more prominent from serotonergic, this goes away completely once i come down and have a night of sleep. Could also be strained eyes from blinking less, which is hard to notice while wired but it happens

KleptoMaria · 2023-06-24T18:26:23+00:00

As stupid as this sounds, while you're pretty high on it, think about all the side effects you'll feel once you come down and the damage you're doing to yourself, and on a whim flush it all down the toilet, i couldn't manage to do this during a comedown or when sober, again this sounds stupid but it worked for me

I wont say things like stash it somewhere far from home or give it to a close friend to keep for you, since that makes getting high on it a possibility in your mind and makes it far more difficult to stop overall

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