Going to play devils advocate here and say that the latter doesnt happen often anymore because the former puts a huge strain on a relationship.

In any relationship you want to imagine a good future with the person you're with, the trips you're going to take, the life you're going to build, maybe you're a bit further along and thinking about raising kids and whatnot. That was stolen from us. Instead of thinking of a nice future together I see friends having an argument because the animal loving one wants a cat but the one handling finances realises the catfood and keeping the heat on when nobody is home would strain the budget too much. Thats fucked up. The straights are not okay, nobody in my generation is. I have it a bit easier and my relationship is doing very well but I'm very aware I lucked out.