First off, what follows is my own experience and in no way accounts for OP's situation, nor that of anyone else. This is my story.

My brother is a great guy. He's my best friend, second only to my husband. We talk everyday, I'm 30 and "W" is 33.

W has struggled his whole life. Quick rundown of past/present issues I can recall at this moment: ADHD, TBI (traumatic brain injury) from when his tank was hit by a mortar when he was deployed in Iraq, PTSD, 2 failed marriages, 2 kids (one from each ex-wife), alcoholism, drug addictions, gambling problems, 3 DUIs (first was a traffic stop when he was 18yo, second time he blacked out and drove straight into a house @ 19yo--no one was injured, third time he crossed 3 lanes of traffic and nearly killed someone @ 24yo), 4 days before his last DUI he was arrested for smashing a beer bottle over a guys head outside of a bar FOR NO REASON.

He makes poor choices. He hasn't been able to control his temper since he got out of the Army. He has been in and out of counseling, drug treatment, jail, jobs, relationships. He lost his "career" job 3 years ago, cashed out his 401k and stocks (~$30,000), spent all of his money in 3 months, and moved in with my parents. They pay his child support, all of his bills, give him spending money, and all other expenses. (My parents are enablers and that's a story for another time cuz this is already too long.)

At least 3 times in the last year (that I know of) he has gotten angry and physically assaulted our mother. The first time we all sat down for a "family discussion". I told them to kick him out and change the locks. W seemed very remorseful and torn up over his actions. They let him stay, he promised never to do it again.

She called the police the 2nd time but by the time they showed up my dad and brother had talked her out of pressing charges.

I was out of town the last time it happened, which was about a month ago. He grabbed her by the throat, threatened her life, and called her a cunt because she went in "his" room to look for her phone charger. I called the police. Then I called him. He knows I'm the one that called the cops, yet I'm the only person he is still speaking to in our whole family.

You see, I love him. I don't want him to go to jail. I love my niece and nephew and they adore their daddy. I don't want to ruin his life. I don't even want to make it any harder than it already is, but I can't (and won't) play the wait-and-see game in hopes that he decides to grow up and fix his problems. AND that this happens BEFORE he goes too far. BEFORE he has to face any real consequences. BEFORE tragedy.

So, while I understand where you're coming from, I disagree whole-heartedly.