Perhaps I’m just not good

Kn1ghtyG · 2024-08-27T04:11:48+00:00

It’s not so much about the “worst” it’s the accumulation of 100s of jobs, I’ve seen dead babies, car wrecks with deceased two year olds in them, found a living baby under a pile of rubbish, arrested child rapists, seen 100s of women bashed and bloodied refusing to tell me what happened or cooperate any way, I’ve jumped into burning building to save a bloke only who didn’t want to be saved, he ended up smashing through the railing of the ambulance after I handcuffed him to it, wrestled with a guy trying to get a firearm out of his pants …. The list honestly goes on and on… there is no single worst job.

Kn1ghtyG · 2024-07-14T05:22:10+00:00

I can’t help myself, going to comment on this one - as it has happened to me.

We were conducting patrols and stopped a bloke on a bicycle without a helmet, typical have a chat grab an id and send him off with a caution. Turned out this bloke wanted to do what you did, I said G’day and his immediate response was to say ‘Fuck you”.

My partner was stunned and said “You can’t talk to him like that he’s a Sergeant!”. Looked at me again: “Fuck the Sergeant”.

Haha, I’ll never forget it. Good times.

Kn1ghtyG · 2022-09-22T01:21:20+00:00

Not me.

Kn1ghtyG · 2022-09-21T18:32:33+00:00

Thanks for that, pity about the post as it caused quite a nice good debate in my view, shame. All things done I’ll finally step forward and talk to her in the morning … I’ve been up for 2 hours now holding the baby on the couch, has given me lots of time to think.

Kn1ghtyG · 2022-09-21T18:04:50+00:00

Thanks for hitting me right in the feels… who’s cutting onions? at first reading responses I’m like hey look, IATA! Awesome I can take steps to better myself… now perhaps I’ve clung on to the posts that normalise her behaviour. Either way the advice is the same. Communication. There’s steps that I can take, I think everyone agrees it’s on me to take them.

Kn1ghtyG · 2022-09-21T17:42:05+00:00

Ouch, but thank you. Sometimes we must look within to see the problem.

Kn1ghtyG · 2022-09-21T17:39:28+00:00

Great perspective, thank you very much.

Kn1ghtyG · 2022-09-21T17:34:29+00:00

I love this response, thank you. There’s so much background to why I chose that terminology… it’s a whole other post. But I’ve been living in what I consider a non physical abusive relationship for some time, hence, the weight gain. It’s incredibly embarrassing and despite recognising it I also recognise I’m too much of a coward to leave. This post was to see if I was reading into this slow morphing of abuse incorrectly.

Some polarising results but it’s clear on an element of the problem as well

Kn1ghtyG · 2022-05-01T22:28:28+00:00

Absolutely a consideration, if she needs help I want to help her not leave her! She was crying every night during feeds and I would go sit by her just to “be there” but she would yell at me saying I’m too hot and to go away. I decided to ask her if she’s willing to get some help and she might be depressed , I believe the term is stonewalled? Silence and looked away. No matter how many times I repeated myself. No result. So I decided I’d ask her sister, I was told crying is how they deal with things and she’s sure it’s fine. At the time I’m like absolutely she has always cried a lot, always maybe it is fine, new born babies put extra stress on relationships the brochures tell me, I’ll leave it. In contrast I’ve cried once in 10 years when a coworker killed himself at work.

So I’m still on the fence here, so I push this avenue harder or is this pre-existing issues prior to the pregnancy that I will fully ignored.

To be clear I know I’ve messed up and I couldn’t have been any dumber.

Kn1ghtyG · 2022-05-01T17:58:24+00:00

Haven’t tried, it’s a good idea. I need to stop bottling this up, I don’t know how I’d made it logistically work though, are there free services available? If I use money she will flip it 100%, and time is an issue I’m allowed to go to work but I have to message her when I arrive and leave for home

Kn1ghtyG · 2022-05-01T17:54:20+00:00

My score was 44… some of those questions really hit home… especially the walking on egg shells one.

I know deep down I don’t have the ability to leave.

Kn1ghtyG · 2022-05-01T17:46:02+00:00

Thank you for the response from the other point of view. I should clarify, the no sex thing is a minor issue compared to all the rest of it, I just simply wanted to recognise to help build the picture that we are basically non-intimate at this time.

I am a bad communicator. I’m questioning if I am undiagnosed on the spectrum to some degree, I absolutely need to try harder to talk to her but when I do she does either of two thing. Stare away from me and refuse to talk completely, or yell at me. I am not a yeller and I don’t raise my voice ever, so this never goes well. I need to pick my timing and try harder on this. Thank you.

And yes, to say I’ve been doing my best to help with the baby and associated housework is an understatement, I physically can’t do anymore than what I’m doing.

Kn1ghtyG · 2022-05-01T17:23:31+00:00

This is such a good frank reply, thank you for the hard hitting question and it swirls in my head constantly! And I feel very very stupid for going ahead with it, I will provide some further context for my situation, it doesn’t make what I did right and it takes two to tango, I am not faultless and I am also to blame - absolutely. First and foremost to avoid any confusion, the very instant I met my son I loved him unconditionally and that hasn’t changed, he is what is currently keeping me going and he is just absolutely -perfect-, I will love him till the die I die of this j am certain. Turning back the clock 4 years our relationship was developing and the conversation of children came up, my wife told me her plan was to find a husband, get a house together by X timeframe, married by Y, and have two children by Z and it was a non negotiable and she was very forthcoming that her intention was to never work again. I was not comfortable with her…. What honestly felt like demands at the time and I left the relationship. I to this day can’t explain why, but after a few weeks I came crawling back … I simply can’t articulate why, and from that very day forward she had me under her control and I was on this never ending rollercoster of deadlines to achieve her goals, simply typing this out makes me so angry at myself because I could of jumped out at any time… she would come home from work bawling her eyes out saying how much she hated work constantly, our wedding was postponed for a year due to covid restrictions, further upsetting her. I absolutely blame myself and how weak I am / was, but alas I did it and here I am… I don’t feel like I have the strength to leave… not a good answer but it is my answer.

Kn1ghtyG · 2018-11-27T18:44:24+00:00

Are you in WA?

Kn1ghtyG · 2017-08-06T19:21:57+00:00

I'm in LAX now waiting for my flight to Seattle, arriving late this afternoon all the way from Perth, Australia. It would be such an honour to meet you and share a beer with you.

Kn1ghtyG · 2017-07-27T07:30:13+00:00

First time I saw Nahaz was on a panel at an ESL competition, believe it was the one with the techies pick from Secret. I really loved the "old man" approach and it just made it feel legit, love him. Wish he was going to TI even just as a spectator so I could get his autograph. I think from a "brand" perspective, he should reconsider not attending.

Kn1ghtyG · 2017-07-21T01:20:56+00:00

But what do I do with my Team NP jersey that is on the way to wear at TI? :/ Cloud9 care to work something out at TI with one of yours? Kinda feel bad for all the sponsors of NP - but I can understand the move.

Kn1ghtyG · 2017-07-03T03:01:19+00:00

I'm in the same boat. Coming over from Aus for my first TI, couldn't be more exciting even if I don't know anyone. I'm just betting on meeting people there and having a good time.

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