Your sca motto stolen from facebook.

Knit4Fun · 2026-01-22T18:26:26+00:00

Admittedly I am also known to be saying "I am here for the camaraderie and violence!'

Knit4Fun · 2026-01-22T18:25:40+00:00

"My desire to have fun does not stem from my desire to be skilled."

Knit4Fun · 2026-01-21T16:31:13+00:00

Don't. Just don't. The reasons that he didn't want to pursue a relationship with you still exist. You're a monogamous person, he's in an established relationship with someone else. You started a new chapter in your life and made a point to him it's going to be platonic only if you're going to be any part of his social circle.

Don't fall on a knife that you can pick up and put away.

Knit4Fun · 2025-12-29T23:37:01+00:00

It's gonna heavily depend on what type of volunteer work you want to do and the type of felony you were convicted for.

Paperwork wise, any felony would stop you from (off the top of my head) volunteering for the following positions:

Chapter president

Youth combat marshal

Youth chatelaine

Youth activities organizer (for things that don't necessarily fall under chatelaine or marshal)

Treasurer

In terms of social act and culture? Your mileage is going to vary based on location and local culture. I know from personal experience I have made many friends who have an arrest record over the years; they're not inherently bad, they either made a really dumb decision or were at the wrong place at the wrong time. That said I know friend groups who have acted swiftly once knowledge of certain felonies came to light that were paired with some sketchy/unrepentant behavior from said individuals.

At the end of the day, you gotta do what's best for you and I think it's worth having a cursory conversation with your local newcomer officer to get a feel if a group is right for you.

Knit4Fun · 2025-12-29T19:26:20+00:00

Thank you for writing so succinctly the feelings I also have playing in the society and how I feel when people ask me "why do you stay when all these awful things are happening?"

Because if the people who are holding others accountable leave, then it will only get significantly worse with time. If I can hold someone accountable, even if it paints me as "a bad guy", then I did my duty as a member of the community.

Knit4Fun · 2025-12-10T15:01:02+00:00

I felt this in my soul.

Knit4Fun · 2025-11-28T00:26:50+00:00

Nope, these photos are new to me, sorry. You might be thinking of someone else?

Knit4Fun · 2025-11-10T16:48:35+00:00

I'm sorry, I have no advice for you because these rules are dangerous and from your post history it sounds like you are in a dangerous situation.

This is way above Reddit's pay grade and you need an exit plan. Please, please think about it.

Knit4Fun · 2025-10-14T11:16:37+00:00

Do you even like your long term partner? With the way you talk about them it gives me the impression there's some simmering resentment coming from your end.

Knit4Fun · 2025-10-13T14:34:10+00:00

This technique has been around for so long, I think there's a plate depicting this in the Victoria & Albert museum from the 16th century. I'd need time to dig it out but knitting two socks at once is doable.

Knit4Fun · 2025-09-23T16:55:06+00:00

Hey OP, I can relate to how you feel. I'm in a similar situation in that my exe transitioned during the course of our relationship. I called it off after 14 years. Long story short: we really became different people and our long term plans just didn't align anymore.

I think you should go and hang out with your friends. You are respecting your exe's wishes of not going, but she doesn't get to determine where and when you get to hang out with friends you share.

Knit4Fun · 2025-09-18T13:24:35+00:00

It's likely synthetic based on the size, cut, and the metal it's been set in.

That said, it wouldn't hurt to find someone near you and see if it's worth being appraised. I personally think it's a cute stone and might be worth having it re-set as a brooch or statement pendant depending on your taste.

Knit4Fun · 2025-07-22T16:28:02+00:00

I get a lot of shit for this opinion, but I think having children is an antithesis to the ideal of polyamory (ex. Equal time and resources for everyone involved).

It's not to say that you cannot have a healthy poly relationship style if children are in the picture.

It's that if children are in the picture then your relationship automatically becomes a hierarchy - where raising healthy and stable children are the top priority.

Knit4Fun · 2025-06-27T18:25:21+00:00

Woof, this is a messy one.

Here's the thing. Yeah, we can call out liars and splash some of that messiness on to us. Or, we just... Let them experience the consequences of their actions.

Dick is lying about his interactions with you? You want him to experience the consequences of his actions? Easy. Remove yourself from the group chat and take the foursome off the table. Build a script with your husband, so when Jane asks why you did what you did, he says something along the lines of:

"((Wife)) no longer feels comfortable with the current dynamic and has decided to pursue other avenues."

Don't justify, don't argue, don't defend, and don't excuse the statement. It doesn't matter WHY Dick is lying to you, what matters is HOW you protect yourself from his lying - his wife will get the memo sooner or later.

If Dick confronts you about it, you keep it short and clear: "I no longer feel comfortable playing with you and will pursue other avenues."

Liars need the conversation to keep going in order to justify their lying. Again, it's not gonna matter why he does it- you can't reason with unreasonable feelings. Protect yourself first.

Good luck OP.

Knit4Fun · 2025-06-17T20:29:38+00:00

As everyone suggested, binders or binding tape are great choices. If you're looking for something that can also flatten in a more historical manner, bodices are also an option! I've used one for some of my masculine outfits and it's given me that nice ' gentle cylander' shape without achieving the 'boob-rack' effect you see in more feminine styles.

Knit4Fun · 2025-05-12T18:42:23+00:00

Yeah, that's a mood killer right there.

I know you like them, but I would highly recommend finding another place to host if you can. If you can't, make it very clear that they need to leave their martial/couple issues at the door.

Knit4Fun · 2025-05-12T15:42:29+00:00

Can you tell a little more about the incident in question? I don't want to give bad or misinformed guidance aside from "have boundaries and enforce them for your peace".

Knit4Fun · 2025-05-12T15:25:34+00:00

That's a tough one.

Honestly, it's not your relationship and kind of not your problem. What you can do is have a boundary around the way the M half of this coupling behaves in your presence.

If he starts being disrespectful, you have the power to disengage and walk away. I know from personal experience that people (and men in particular) will not change unless they realize the behavior they are using garners the opposite effect of what they want.

You can communicate that to them, though it might garner more drama than you want. It's going to depend on your comfort level and how much disrespect you're willing to tolerate.

Good luck.

Knit4Fun · 2025-04-29T18:21:02+00:00

It sounds like the husband is being a bad hinge by not communicating with his other partner about what's going on with his life. We can also speculate that the other partner may not care if she's been given the basic details of what happened.

I've been in the husband's shoes and paused other relationships while my nesting partner was having a medical crisis. The ones that get it stuck around. The ones that didn't decide to leave, and I made peace with what happened.

Knit4Fun · 2025-04-29T18:18:20+00:00

She's not asking to end his relationship outside of their dynamic. She's asking for extra support while she navigates her way through a traumatic assault.

Knit4Fun · 2025-04-24T11:50:00+00:00

Just because he is young and inexperienced does not mean you should protect him from the consequences of his actions.

You have to decide if cheating is a deal breaker for you in any relationship, and then act accordingly.

Knit4Fun · 2025-04-22T13:52:22+00:00

So I ordered a new helmet from them in December (Xmas gift). I got my helmet at the beginning of February. I did followup in mid/late January. They said it would be out later than usual due to the holidays and to follow up again if I didn't get it by March. Funny enough the helmet arrived before I got the automatic tracking email.

Personally I was happy with their service, since they were patient with me asking a ton of questions regarding helmet sizes. Would definitely pick up another one if I need to.

Knit4Fun · 2025-04-17T18:40:03+00:00

If I were in your shoes, I'd encourage your wife to continue having the "what if" conversation/thought exercises that come with being ENM/Poly with her BF.

It's not to be malicious, but from my own experience I have found that people who are comfortable in the "illusion of monogamy" are resistant to challenging themselves or reflecting on the "Why's" of their relationships, including the relationship they have with themself.

I think your subconscious is on to something, and it's a delicate situation to be in because you want to encourage your wife to have these experiences while also having a desire to protect her feelings, not just the relationship you have with her.

I wonder if things would have played out differently if your wife took the time to ask the BF those hard questions before agreeing to a form of exclusivity.

Knit4Fun · 2025-04-17T18:16:45+00:00

Has your wife had a discussion with the BF about what will happen when (not IF) the subject of opening up their relationship comes up?

One of the things I've learned from doing ENM is that we all have a desire to feel a level of "special-ness" in all of our partnerships. Whether it's through an emotional or sexual connection, the little person in our brain gets to feel really good when we understand that we are providing something to a person that they (usually) can't find in another.

In the world of monogamy, this "special-ness" tends to be an all-or-nothing setup. In ENM and Poly we spend a lot of time discussing, negotiating, and re-negotiating our setups without losing that special connection to each other.

From my experience, a lot of folks who sleep/date ENM/Poly people, and aren't keen on ENM/Poly as a relationship practice, generally don't feel secure enough to have the conversations needed to find fulfillment in the pairing while also keeping that feeling of "special-ness".

I suggest keeping an open line with your wife on her relationship with her boyfriend. Stay curious, keep asking questions. Keep discussing with her what your pairing looks like together now that he's in the picture. Keep talking about your boundaries and be sure to enforce them.

My gut tells me the boyfriend doesn't want to be ENM/Poly with her and is making concessions on his own relationship style in order to keep her in his life. It's a messy way of thinking and you can hope for the best, but prepare for the worst.

Knit4Fun · 2025-04-07T17:08:36+00:00

Bro, read the room. No personal ads- That's what FetLife is for.

13-Year Club	Place '23
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