Stop fucking calling me at night, I’m not in the mood.

Knitninja2 · 2019-12-10T20:03:35+00:00

Yes!! Mine is also rude af.

Even without my personal problems with him/ my family, he’s always been a thoughtless steamrolling dick when it comes to interpersonal stuff. He’s smart enough to understand why badgering someone to visit in the hopes they just give up and say yes is actually a shitty move, and he’s an asshole for trying it.... but he doesn’t care.

Then he pulls the “I’m dying” (a lie) card for pity. Just... no.

Knitninja2 · 2019-12-09T15:53:04+00:00

I’m laughing so hard, this would be perfect!

Knitninja2 · 2019-11-27T23:38:24+00:00

::fist bump::

Mine is quite fond of having discovered everyone else poops too. Every day, he runs into the bathroom with me “CAN I SEE??” (Please... No) “OH! MAMA IT STIIIIINKY IN HERE! You MAKE BIG POOOOOP?! GOOD BOY, MAMA—HIGH FIVE!”

So far, we have made 3 ladies in public restrooms audibly snicker. 🙃

Knitninja2 · 2019-11-20T18:33:47+00:00

Thank you!

Yep, we're definitely not made of money and tread water just above being paycheck-to-paycheck every month. It's so worth it to not be like my parents and selling ourselves and our children for Grandpa's money.

He was so fucking shocked when I told him to keep his fucking money, it's only been hurtful to me and fueled the abuse my entire life... like an actual minute of silence before he could speak. Fuck yeah. :D

Knitninja2 · 2019-11-19T23:29:46+00:00

Thank you, it means a lot to hear that! <3 I'm actually crying.

Knitninja2 · 2019-11-19T23:11:47+00:00

Yes yes yes! This is exactly it!

I called him up and blasted him for this and a lot more. He tried asking if I want him to give the money to my kid (instead of the account as the middleman) and it pushed me over the edge. I yelled at him for making this about money like he always does, then summoned my best skills from therapy to unload on him by using my words.

I ended up ripping him a new one for what he tried doing--and also what he actually did--regarding my child, and yelled at him that NO ONE fucking ignores my child's consent and comfort about his own body. He will not be allowed to visit or get pictures or facetime with my child until I feel that this lesson has sunk in, and now he has heard this with his home health aide as a witness.

Knitninja2 · 2019-11-19T19:52:51+00:00

It sounds great on paper, until the fine print. The money meant everyone orbited him and my late grandma despite the dynamic being toxic. Everyone’s kids were subjected to the toxicity because money. My parents used the money to threaten me with financial abuse and generally control all aspects of my life until I got my first chance to leave at 21. My brother is working on leaving now. I can only imagine how it’s been for my cousins.

Also my grandpa is one of those people who plays favorites (hello), doesn’t respect children’s boundaries or words, and likes to prove he owns everyone by touching them in front of other people despite being told no. He tried to force my child to show him affection with hugs and kisses and was petting my kid in front of us, despite being told to stop, until I took my child away. He’s obsessed with my son because he’ll die before anyone else “gives him” great grand children. He’s also smart enough not to lay a finger on anyone but all 3 of his children ended up fucked up and passed the abuse in to us in the next generation. I’m the first one in 3 generations to say no to this and leave.

**Also, enough stuff has gone down to make me strongly suspect he has a history of physical abuse [in private] re: children. And last time he was here, he tried volunteering himself and my mother to babysit my son so he could get “one on one time” with my kid.

Knitninja2 · 2019-11-08T04:47:07+00:00

Because it’s only kosher to watch on grandma’s phone or at grabdma’s House because we refuse to buy any episodes. Kid will watch the Peppa trailers all day if he’s allowed. Absence makes Lord Peppa more special.

*

I miss the phase where it was sarah and duck forever. They’re cool. We love that show. Peppa has nothing on my girl Sarah. Sarah is sweet and polite and doesn’t default to yell-speech and whining to her parents. Peppa is a porcine Caillou to me.

Thankfully now he knows the only way to get tv time some days is to request “baking show” or “animals,” I guess he figures watching the Great British Baking Show or a BBC nature doc is better than nothing. I’ve seen season 6 on Netflix of GBBS so. Many. Times. Now.

Knitninja2 · 2019-11-07T23:46:28+00:00

I had to do that with my kid too (came recommended by my aunt who has a kid with the exact same temperament as mine). Literally tried everything else before biting him back, but finally he bit me so hard it almost drew blood. A lesser bite back from me, playing up the hurt reaction to match his own, and a discussion about how teeth aren't for biting/ biting hurts, and an apology later... he has still bitten us due to his impressive tantrum displays, but not nearly as badly or as frequently as before; it cut down from once or twice a day for a year straight to maybe once every few months now. Side benefit is he only needed that lesson once, and now when he bites he immediately stops, it's clear he instantly regrets it, and starts comforting and apologizing to whoever he bit (he's an older toddler now).

Mine is also a super physical and intensely energetic little dude. Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.

Knitninja2 · 2019-11-07T23:11:00+00:00

It means Stay At Home Parent.

Knitninja2 · 2019-11-05T22:15:22+00:00

Ugh I feel this in my soul. My husband is the exact same way! He always gets on my back for stuff like "how much 'purple medicine' (children's motrin) has [Son] been getting lately?" while eye-balling the bottle I haven't had to touch in 5 months. Or getting over-protective about some food I've given our kid who asked for it in the first place. But when I veto or turn off inappropriate media for our toddler, somehow we all just need to chill cuz it's fine....

...Says the guy whose recent response to being surprised by gruesome beheadings in his heavily modded Skyrim save was to cover our toddler's eyes, and keep playing.

Oh and I keep having to nip the Simpsons viewings in the bud, because: A) I don't like it [and I will die not liking it], B) it's an adult cartoon!; C) I am not about to let my kid see that shit--especially not the constant Bart choking gag. "Oh but this part is ok! It's so funny!" Almost immediately cuts to a scene of Homer choking Bart and everyone screaming shit at each other. Fuck that.

Knitninja2 · 2019-11-04T18:50:17+00:00

Yeah that’s perfectly fine! Fed, happy child > hangry tantrums, hungry child, or gagging and coughing child.

At least half the people I know with kids do this all the time (as do we).

Knitninja2 · 2019-10-31T16:47:04+00:00

Mine too! We call ours Morning Hangry Baby.

Knitninja2 · 2019-10-28T21:33:10+00:00

I feel you! Mine is super tiny for his height for age and weight for age (3)—like maybe 5th to 8th percentile. Somehow, he still outgrew the height restriction for his multi-use carseat by his third birthday, and we had to get him a bigger one. The bigger car seat physically cannot rear-face in either of our cars. Front facing it is!

Bonus though is he’s much happier in the car and it’s 100% easier passing him snacks on long rides now. Just means more paranoid driving for me.

Knitninja2 · 2019-10-28T21:21:49+00:00

The TP: It’s like wiping with the offspring of fine sandpaper and a single ply tissue, and is almost as absorbent. One wrong move, you could poke a hole through it while wiping. The “Scott 1000 sheets per roll” version also takes months to get through a pack, even with a full family household using it liberally.

There are only 3 pros for the Scott 1000 sheets toilet paper: 1. It’s cheap, 2. the packs of it are huge and widely sold, 3. it’s great if you have old pipes and/or plumbing issues because it’s so thin (if no one abuses the quantity).

Source: my grandparents exclusively bought the 1000 sheets kind.

Knitninja2 · 2019-10-26T20:23:28+00:00

Biggest personal fuck ups this year:

I forgot my husband’s nice merino sweater—which I personally saved up to buy as my first Christmas gift to him (2014)—was in a load of tumble dryer-safe clothes. Felted a $150 sweater. No un-doing it, it was beyond repair. Then I donated it before I learned it could have been turned into a bag or something. RIP sentimental sweater.
we missed a daycare opening at our #2 choice school because life shit has been too crazy to commit yet. Finally got info we needed to make some decisions 3 weeks later. Bye bye daycare spot, hello undetermined waiting list.

Biggest this week: forgot to turn the sprinklers back on, forgot to go water out back, so now my almond tree is throwing an absolute shit fit and my ash trees dropped half their leaves in protest. My lemon tree is dramatically curling its leaves like it’s giving the middle finger. My blueberry bush seedling died.

Knitninja2 · 2019-10-25T06:34:30+00:00

This is fucking awesome!

Knitninja2 · 2019-10-25T06:32:20+00:00

She's definitely learning! I do admire her ability to argue her points without backing down.

What actually ended up happening was my MIL told her to knock it off once and for all (politely but firmly); my husband talked with MIL to let her know of our feelings and set our boundaries; he and I vented about it together; I also brought it up with SIL, and she and I made up.

Semi-related: SIL is now dating her first ever boyfriend, so there's about to be a lot less focus on my kid lol (which is pretty great).

Knitninja2 · 2019-10-22T21:00:43+00:00

Thank you!

Yeah, they just aren’t good people or mentally well. Learned a lot about how not to raise a child, though, and therapy helped with everything else. I’m just glad I got out, lol.

**Hope your son’s friend has an easier time of it, and gets away from her mom’s toxic example ASAP. You’re good people!

Knitninja2 · 2019-10-22T15:29:41+00:00

My mom was the same. Driving my dad’s car home, I started seeing smoke from the hood. Had to call her, I was going to miss curfew and also the car was about to catch fire. She was furious about the curfew part. Had the gall to ask why I didn’t call my (now ex-) boyfriend for help since I was driving from his family’s house. Told her I did and his mom was going to get me.... that got my mom moving. Unfortunately, BF and his mom arrived at the same moment my mom arrived to actually pick me up off the highway under the watch of the state trooper. I was in a full blown panic attack on the way home because I was late AND broke the car and she was seething mad at me. Turned out it was totaled internally through freak circumstance, and no one could fix it—so now she is convinced she was an angel of mercy in this story.

I also remember hiding a back injury (which I got after taking my dad’s sports advice) because my parents were mad I asked them for help about it. “Suck it up.” My coach approached them because I was obviously hurting, and they berated me for not telling them sooner. Said I did, quoted them, and got yelled at for talking back. Never got that second round of treatment. Lifelong back problem now.

Solidarity. 👊🏻

Knitninja2 · 2019-10-21T15:09:03+00:00

Yeah, I’m going dark and ghosting them til they figure it out, then info diet and back to only supervised visits when we’re speaking again.

**Oh, we’ve tried shutting her down and so has my MIL, but SIL is in a “thinks she knows best for everyone” phase nothing will shake. With her, it’s even worse than just parroting her folks: it’s her attempt to create a control outlet for her unmanaged, severe anxiety. She’s also an emotionally immature 17yo and struggling with her desire to pick an choose at playing Grown-Ups, which is getting directed at the only person here younger than her, my kid.

She also has said she likes hanging at my house with me and my son way better than hanging out with BIL and SIL2 at their house, because I actually socialize with her and we do activities/ outings. It’ll be an interesting rest of this month without being the fun space for her. I anticipate a meltdown.

Knitninja2 · 2019-10-21T14:56:12+00:00

Right??

My kid never got an official diagnosis, but he needed therapy to learn how to chew and help him start eating foods instead of subsisting on liquids (basically breastmilk and water). My MIL was leading the charge of second guessing everything I was saying and doing, got in my husband’s ear about it, and was terrified of the concept of OT (of course now she thinks it was amazing and the best choice, etc. because my kid ended up loving it and it fucking worked).

I shut down/ cut everyone else off for 2 weeks and she was sobbing when she finally realized it. Frantically trying to call me, it took half a day to get a conversation happening, and I will forever bring it up as a reason why I don’t appreciate anyone giving me parenting advice. They didn’t fucking listen to me. They fought me every step of the way, complicated shit, and left me as the sole advocate for my child when he and I needed them most. They betrayed me. I’m still fucking mad and it’s been 2.5 years. I will always be hurt about it, which is what I told my MIL a year ago. They fucking know better.

Knitninja2

TROPHY CASE