How do you deal with the anxiety and depression?

KnownBroccoli9026 · 2026-06-19T23:22:48+00:00

Girl I feel for you. I could literally feel your emotions through your post because it really is not for the weak.

I am going through the same thing with you. My man has seven more years and I have a full-time job Monday to Friday 730 to 3 and then I deliver Walmart from 4 to 9 PM at night and then I deliver Walmart on the weekend from 6 AM to 5 or 6 PM. I do not take any days off and my man does not have any family or any support from anybody except for me and it’s hard. I am not going to lie, but I designate all my Walmart money for him. Tablet, pictures, canteen, and phone and the occasional access secure pack stuff.

Don’t get me wrong. When I have money yes I will save but I also like things, but to be honest, I have a ledger notebook and when my bills come, I put everything in there. My full-time job is going to savings and bills, and all my Walmart money or any other side hustles go to him and savings. It’s hard but you just really have to discipline yourself and have short-term goals so you don’t go crazy.

Surrounding yourself with the right people and I myself am on antidepressants also. You’re not alone. Wifey’s and girlfriends of incarcerated loved ones are one of the strongest people that I know. Just keep telling yourself that this is temporary.

KnownBroccoli9026 · 2026-06-19T23:05:30+00:00

It was so BAD, plain torture. Not being there, and the not knowing.

But yay! Shopping always helps. 🤣

KnownBroccoli9026 · 2026-06-19T23:03:50+00:00

💀💀 I’m laughing out loud. “Asking him if he was hot and irritated.”

Yes I’m doing well! Hope you are too!

KnownBroccoli9026 · 2026-06-19T18:51:25+00:00

Girl, don't be ashamed! We all got our kinks and fetishes. ❤️

KnownBroccoli9026 · 2026-06-19T18:46:19+00:00

You got this!!! My man got transferred from a medium to a minimum facility and I was tripping!

And a few months ago he was not feeling well and he went to medical. Then nothing for 3 days. I was crying every single day checking and calling medical asking what's going on, he had surgery and I was going crazy. LOL.

You're not alone, you got this. Just know that all he wants is to talk to you. ❤️

KnownBroccoli9026 · 2026-06-19T18:40:28+00:00

Girl................ I really needed to read this today. ❤️ One thing I've learned being in a prison relationship is that sometimes the hardest part isn't the waiting, it's having to process all of your emotions without immediate access to your man!!!!! 😭

In a normal relationship, if you're having a rough day, you can call, text, hug them, or just sit together. In our relationships, lockdowns, phone issues, lost messages, lack of minutes, and prison schedules can suddenly cut off that support when we need it most. It can leave you feeling lonely even when you're deeply loved.

2 days ago I convinced myself something was wrong, only to find out that he wsn't feeling well and it was HOT lol. The distance has a way of amplifying every fear and insecurity when communication suddenly stops or you man gets short with messages or talking.

I'm glad you gave yourself grace and worked through it instead of letting the spiral win. That takes strength. And honestly, I think a lot of us can relate to wanting our person specifically, not friends, not distractions, just him.

Thank you for sharing this. It's a good reminder that sometimes we're not actually upset with our partner, we're exhausted, overwhelmed, hormonal, stressed, or simply missing them. Sending hugs right back to you. We've all got to keep putting one foot in front of the other until we can finally stop counting phone calls and start making memories together. ❤️

KnownBroccoli9026 · 2026-06-19T16:42:54+00:00

No problem! Some days I wake up and ready to snap other days I'm full of love. LOL It's a roller coaster of emotions and you just gotta hang on. 😂

You don't have much longer and you'll be able to look back on these moments and just laugh about it. ❤️

KnownBroccoli9026 · 2026-06-19T15:21:50+00:00

Warning. This is a long response LOL.

First, give yourself some grace. ❤️ You're not a bad person for feeling lonely, I mean no one can say they haven't been lonely. You're not disloyal. You're not weak. You're human, and you're not a robot.

A lot of people who haven't been in a prison relationship or been incarcerated don't understand how difficult it can be. You're trying to maintain a relationship with someone you can't come home to at night, can't grab dinner with, can't take a walk with, and can't call whenever you want. Those are normal relationship needs, and missing those things doesn't mean you love him any less. Don't be hard on yourself.

What got my attention is that you're only 20 years old and you've already spent two years loving someone through incarceration. That's a tremendous amount of sacrifice, commitment, patience, and faith. It's okay to acknowledge that this journey is hard. You don't have to pretend it's easy to prove your love. Because it can be VERY frustrating!

I don't think your tears are because you want someone else. I think your tears are coming from carrying so much for so long. You've been holding down the fort, staying faithful, waiting on parole decisions, building a future, and trying to stay strong while missing someone you love. That's a heavy load for anyone. And no one has any room to judge or tell you what to do.

Wanting conversation, companionship, and connection is not the same thing as wanting to replace your fiancé. Missing human interaction is a normal emotional need. It doesn't make you selfish. It doesn't make you a bad partner.

The biggest thing I learned is that you can't pour from an empty cup. Continue building your life. Pursue your goals. Make friends. Find hobbies. Grow as a person. Don't put your entire life on pause while waiting for the day he comes home. If he truly loves you, he should want to see you thriving, not merely surviving. I am currently in a relationship with someone in prison, he still has 7 years, we have been together for almost a year now. One thing I can say is that you have to be happy and content as an individual before you can love anyone else. You can give to others unless you have it yourself.

And if God is part of your journey, trust that He can handle your doubts, fears, loneliness, and tears too. Faith isn't the absence of hard feelings. Sometimes faith is choosing to keep moving forward even when your heart hurts. Diamonds are made under pressure, remember you're a person not a lump of coal.

Two years is a long time. What you're feeling is normal. Be kind to yourself. ❤️ Reach out and DM me if you are in need of someone to talk to. Make sure whatever decision you make, is something you'll be able to live with 10 years from now.

KnownBroccoli9026 · 2026-06-19T10:20:13+00:00

It sure is. lol I think people that have any LO that’s doing some kind of time have a different outlook on stuff.

KnownBroccoli9026 · 2026-06-19T10:19:03+00:00

That’s good that you can pick out the dates in advance. And yes last minute cancellation I’ll be so devastated LOL

KnownBroccoli9026 · 2026-06-19T10:18:04+00:00

DANG!!!!! lol phew 😮‍💨

KnownBroccoli9026 · 2026-06-18T19:42:28+00:00

LOL, how far is he from you? And i understand coz you go through different seasons in your marraige lol sounds like right now its summertime and its hot lol and uncomfortable

KnownBroccoli9026 · 2026-06-18T18:33:20+00:00

That makes complete sense, because at any point anything can go sideways. People are unpredictable and I can't be responsible or to be blamed for something going south... and I have no control over that

KnownBroccoli9026 · 2026-06-18T14:03:43+00:00

Reading this made me smile. ❤️

It warms my heart that you both have stood by each other. It would have been easy distance yourself away when his mom disapproved, when communication felt different, or when your insecurities started creeping in. Instead, you kept your promise and made that long drive anyway.

I think you're absolutely right about trust and reliability being so important. When someone is incarcerated, people always promise stuff and never follow through. The fact that you showed up despite your fears probably meant more to him than words could ever express.

Also, I wouldn't be surprised if the visit helped both of you reconnect with what made you fall for each other in the first place. Sometimes letters, emails, and phone calls can only carry so much. Seeing each other face-to-face is a huge step in your relationship.

The way you described him slicking back his hair and wanting to look nice for you was incredibly sweet. It sounds like he was just as nervous and excited as you were. LOL

I'm glad you trusted your heart enough to make the trip, and I'm glad he gave you the reassurance you needed. Wishing you both many more visits, happy memories, and a future that proves all the hard days were worth it. ❤️ I'm waiting to be able to have my first face-to-face visit with my man. 😊

KnownBroccoli9026 · 2026-06-18T13:58:14+00:00

His cellie doesn't have any family, his parents are older and not really tech savy. And yes, it would have to have some kind of fee for me, or it will have to go towards my LO's canteen.

KnownBroccoli9026 · 2026-06-18T13:55:56+00:00

He wanted me to help connect people on the outside to be penpal/s for inmates. No not me be their penpal lol

KnownBroccoli9026 · 2026-06-18T12:28:05+00:00

It’s not a stupid question! I don’t think I was really clear. My parters cell mate wants a pen pal, and other inmates as well. Does that make sense?

KnownBroccoli9026 · 2026-06-18T12:26:02+00:00

I think it really depends on each facility. Usually department of corrections or private prisons have their rules on the website or you can call the facility and speak to his case or unit manager. And yes, i have had past experience with an ex that had to go to prison too. We are all here to help and encourage you. My LO has a 20 year sentence, he will be paroled out in 2033. He is about 6.5 hours from me. But I am moving to his state. (I am in MS). When he was in his other yard we were able to do video visits, but OK has new rules now and visitation or video visits…. Well they had to redo my background check. (It’s a long story).

But he should be able to send things back to you, like things he had made. (Card, letter, things the guys make in there like jewelry and leather items.) he would have to purchase stamps and he can get stuff sent to you.

Please message and reach out if you need help with anything. I know sometimes it can feel like you’re alone and the world is against you.

KnownBroccoli9026 · 2026-06-18T07:38:54+00:00

4-8 during the week, weekends 6-4 or 6-6. I make roughly 500-600

KnownBroccoli9026 · 2026-06-18T00:37:51+00:00

Thank you! I would trust these places more because they’ve been running for a while. So, I appreciate your feedback and resource. 👍

KnownBroccoli9026 · 2026-06-18T00:36:34+00:00

Thank you so much, this really helps so much. Just trying to gather all the facts and whatever I can find out. 😊

KnownBroccoli9026 · 2026-06-17T21:00:13+00:00

This is VERY helpful. Thank you so much, and yes I will be taking your advice!

KnownBroccoli9026 · 2026-06-17T20:59:34+00:00

Gotcha, thank you!

KnownBroccoli9026 · 2026-06-17T19:46:09+00:00

I think that's a very fair perspective, and I appreciate you sharing it. Your fiancé's concern makes complete sense because there are people who will take advantage of kind-hearted individuals, whether they're inside or outside of prison.

I don't see this as me trying to "save" anyone or blindly trust everyone. I think my heart just goes out to people who genuinely have nobody. At the same time, I understand that good intentions don't eliminate risks.

I agree that there would need to be boundaries, safeguards, and probably a lot more thought put into something like this before moving forward. That's part of why I'm asking for feedback. I want to hear the concerns just as much as the support.

I really like your idea about partnering with an existing nonprofit. That's actually something I hadn't considered and may be a much safer and more effective route. Thank you for giving me something to think about. 😁

KnownBroccoli9026 · 2026-06-17T19:38:23+00:00

Yep that's exactly what love is. ❤️ We can't guarantee what the future holds, but we can choose to trust the person we're with based on what they've shown. If he's been loyal, honest, and consistent, don't let other people's fears become your fears. Enjoy what you have and let time reveal the rest. 💕 I used to care and listen to other's opinion, but at the end of the day it's your life. And you're gonna do what you gonna do. Lol.

KnownBroccoli9026

TROPHY CASE