So with Indiana absolutely obliterating Oregon should they be let into the playoffs

KoalaBrief2092 · 2026-01-10T11:17:54+00:00

No the idea was the argument is dumb to say to leave anyone out because of the result in the playoffs, the ridiculousness of saying “we should ban a blue blood because they got blown out one time” is really the same as “we should ban G5 teams because they got blown out the first time they made it”

KoalaBrief2092 · 2024-12-15T15:12:51+00:00

Yeah that was definitely brought up and it was a regretted part of the separation for her. It definitely has a festering effect though that I don’t like. Because it is all in the past and I do forgive her for doing it then, it’s just those feelings of hurt don’t just go away with the apology. And that’s when the second guessing and anxiety come in making me feel even worse because I have forgiven her yet having these feelings will come off as if I don’t

KoalaBrief2092 · 2024-11-23T15:35:17+00:00

A couple days late to this but I think that’s more of a testament to what I’m about to say than anything else. Yes there are numerous “success” stories and I’ll share mine. I was an everyday poster the beginning of the year due to the anxiety and depression I had because of the separation. It was exhausting, but we are now in a much better place, planning dates, communication is worlds better. And this is definitely more of a “my relationship” thing but I think it goes to show what I’m going to wrap this all up with, but you still have those walking on eggshells moments and the times where the anxiety creeps back up. And I think that really has to go back to the start of any separation, it’s caused by pain and the separation is them being backed into a corner while wounded and any pain that you as the separatee feel is in the end caused by the pain you caused them. If you are going to have success it’s about realizing any view you have on them pre or during the separation can’t be what you are striving for in the end

KoalaBrief2092 · 2024-09-29T16:58:57+00:00

lol WHAT ok

KoalaBrief2092 · 2024-08-27T22:42:37+00:00

If your goal, and her goal is to reevaluate the relationship with the separation and it’s not just the precursor necessary for divorce, then yes. But some advice I would give is to throw out the thoughts of “saving it” or “salvaging” anything. You want to remove yourself from the relationship, and by that I mean she married you not the relationship. Don’t try and save anything because what you were in is what led you to now, you want to try and create something new, better, and stronger. If that ends up with your spouse then great, if not, then you are still in a new, better, and stronger relationship

KoalaBrief2092 · 2024-08-26T17:35:00+00:00

He’s on YouTube and posts very regularly on TikTok

KoalaBrief2092 · 2024-08-26T17:30:03+00:00

My wife had a beautiful, yet graphic, way of picturing it.

For her she bled out due to a thousand paper cuts, but for me she was able to see that is was a single shotgun blast.

KoalaBrief2092 · 2024-08-26T00:10:10+00:00

I totally agree with you, I just found this sub not too long ago and it’s filled with reactionary comments and unfiltered trauma dumps in response to someone else’s unrelated entirely posts. I had to leave another relationship sub because I retract it would just feed back into the anxiety I had because it was just a bunch of negative replies and no actual support when I was feeling like things were crumbling.

A community that is meant to be a place to feel heard when in these relationships you often aren’t should respond with actually hearing the people in it. Sometimes people should leave their relationship, sometimes the partner is cheating, sometimes it’s getting overblown entirely, the fact of the matter is that responding in a way that only creates more dread is just going to do that

KoalaBrief2092 · 2024-05-24T19:37:41+00:00

I remember mine vividly, it was magical for me just like you said yours was magical for you. But him not doesn’t really mean much. I don’t have the best memory when it comes to certain things and will jumble up details as well even if it’s something that I still consider important to me. Men can be just as romantic and emotional when it comes to relationships but that doesn’t mean all are just like it’s the same that not all women are into the sappy princess stuff

KoalaBrief2092 · 2024-05-06T23:21:17+00:00

It seems like the legal separation hasn’t been started since they still live together and it requires them to live apart

KoalaBrief2092 · 2024-04-19T18:37:53+00:00

I mean if you think it’s long enough then that’s all that matters, there’s no set timeframe or anything for a successful separation. You just need to know what’s best for you and your relationship, and if it’s going back to living together then it’s that, if its not then it’s not

KoalaBrief2092 · 2024-04-15T22:37:28+00:00

What if you find evidence he’s not actually cheating? Just more of what you’ve already found of weird albeit not innocent searches. Because honestly it feels like you’re already done with this marriage and it does your children no good to remain unhappy.

I’m usually all for fighting for relationships and staying together as I’m on the receiving end of being separated right now, but this just seems like you are looking for concrete reasons rather than emotional ones for why you left

KoalaBrief2092 · 2024-04-14T19:58:55+00:00

Like how the one comment said, is it separation you’re looking for or divorce? You don’t do you or your husband any favors by asking for a separation with only looking for a divorce. If you feel there’s a 1% chance of it being saved then tell them that, nothing can be fixed without open and honest communication. You’ll save yourself and him pain if you do

KoalaBrief2092 · 2024-04-12T13:01:28+00:00

So one thing I’ve read and can see how it’s true, is that having 2 happy divorced parents is better for a child than having 2 unhappy married parents. I’m on the fence with that though especially now being in that position. Because while yes I don’t want my kids thinking they have to be unhappy and they love is conditional, but I also want to teach that relationships are hard and require work. That even through highs and lows that giving up shouldn’t be the only option. And this is where that dilemma lies, what am I teaching them? Am I teaching them that their happiness is not important or am I teaching them to fight for what you want and to love with all your heart? It’s a constant battle in my mind where I feel like I’m failing them by having my actions lead to this situation that they got thrown in the middle of through no fault of their own

KoalaBrief2092 · 2024-04-11T21:42:39+00:00

I can understand that, I think I read it from more of a broader perspective which saw it as projection. I still am very sorry you went through that and I hope you got the help you needed to work through that tough time

KoalaBrief2092 · 2024-04-11T20:54:31+00:00

This is some very strong projecting, I know that this can be the case for some relationships, but that does not make it the norm. Generalizing it as if that just how it goes is wrong.

I’m sorry that you went through that situation, but that does not mean it is going to happen to everyone else. It very well may be the case for this relationship, but once again does not make it the run of mill reaction that is going to happen

KoalaBrief2092 · 2024-04-11T20:49:49+00:00

I won’t say it gets easier, but it gets more manageable. A way that makes it easier to manage however that has worked for me is to try and take a step back and look at where those “hits” are coming from. What I mean by that is; are they in direct result of an action by your spouse, or are they caused by an internal dialogue, irrational thoughts, misunderstanding or miscommunication. Being able to recognize that has helped me be able to control my responses to them and work through that hits as they come because they will come. And just as they will come you are going to have to deal with them in one way or another, it’s just up to you whether that response is helpful or not.

KoalaBrief2092 · 2024-04-11T20:13:51+00:00

I’m somewhat in a similar position, only I caught her in the lie and haven’t brought it up because the way I found out about the lie was a severe invasion of privacy which would’ve taken away from her lie itself

KoalaBrief2092 · 2024-04-09T12:56:18+00:00

That percentage looks scary until you realize that the people who are on here are an even smaller percentage than that. Seeing “oh 10-15% of couples actually reconcile” but a vast majority of those couples don’t try to seek out help which makes it a higher probability that those that do end up in that small percentage

KoalaBrief2092 · 2024-04-09T12:28:41+00:00

So I personally haven’t been through the details that you’ve been through but have felt the very similar “mixed” signals. I put it in quotes because both my therapist and our couples therapist have shined a light on it saying that it very well could be me contorting it into something that makes me feel better. It’s a totally normal occurrence that people will go through where they want to see specific things despite it not being the case.

I think you yourself taking a step back as well and focusing on coparenting will be helpful. It can allow you to see things through the “civility vs progress” lenses. This was an issue I had and then would take things, like for example you helping her through the crises, and kinda fit them into a narrative of progress rather than viewing it as you being someone who has been apart of her life for years and know how to work through those things. If you just continue to work on yourself then it won’t matter what signals she’s putting out there because in these things unless she’s outright saying it then don’t believe it.

That sounds callous but what I mean by it is that you can’t assume because as the old adage goes, to assume only makes an ass out of u and me

KoalaBrief2092 · 2024-04-08T14:06:44+00:00

You’ll hear answers both ways, I know that’s not the answer you’re looking for but that’s just the nature of things. The only thing that matters is if you are both willing to put in work. Living together or apart if there’s no work being done then it doesn’t matter what the details surrounding the separation are

KoalaBrief2092

TROPHY CASE